KOLKATA: Bengal has one of the highest rates of child adoption in the country but couples continue to be reluctant to adopt children who are six years or older.
Functionaries of Atmaja, an association for adoptive parents that was formed 25 years ago to share their experiences with couples seeking to adopt and answer their queries on procedures before the adoption and challenges thereafter, said most couples were willing to wait up to four years after submitting their application for adoption when they can become a parent in a matter of weeks if they agree to adopting an older child.
"Couples usually go for adoption when they have spent 10 years to have a child. That means they are already in their late 30s or early 40s. If they were to adopt a six-seven year-old child, it could happen in a matter of days as there are many children of that age waiting for adoption. Also, the age gap between the parents and the child would be less. Unfortunately, most couples prefer to wait for years to adopt a child who is younger. We are trying to counsel parents to adopt older children because they too deserve a home," said former Jadavpur University prof and adoptive parent Nilanjana Gupta who was the founder chairperson of Atmaja.
For many, the wait can make them ineligible as the combined age of the husband and wife adopting a child of under 2 years cannot exceed 85 years. For a child of 2-4 years, the maximum combined age of adopting parents is 90 years. Also, the keenness to adopt only children below four years leaves many older kids without a home.
"We also tell couples seeking to adopt that one of the major dilemmas that parents face over when and how to disclose to the children that they are adopted is not there in the case of older children as they already know they are being adopted," said Anup Dewanji, a retired prof at ISI and an adoptive parent who is now chairman of Atmaja.
Saumeta Medhor of adoption agency The Indian Society for Sponsorship & Adoption, says the biggest challenge is couples want to adopt a child who is a clean slate with no memories. "A child of six-seven years will have memories of the biological family or past experiences. Only 1% of couples look for an older child and they do so because they are ineligible for someone younger," she said.
