Nel adopted a child from Portugal, but suddenly it turns out there are many falsehoods in the file: “With what I know now, I would never do it again.”
Nel's daughter Leonor* (6) was adopted from Portugal, but turns out to be at least two years older than what is officially stated in the adoption file. The mental disability is also much more severe than Nel was led to believe. A scandal within the EU. The umpteenth one, and so Groen advocates a ban on intercountry adoption.
“When my daughter is older and realizes that there is something wrong with her adoption, it will make her sad. I don't want the neighbors to know her full story before she fully understands it herself.” This is the reason why mother Nel* (45) is testifying anonymously. Nel has two children, a biological daughter aged 9 and an adopted daughter, Leonor (6)*. “My first pregnancy was difficult. We were offered adoption for a second child. I did hear some bad adoption stories, but you are reassured by the services that everything is checked more strictly than before. You believe that. It is packaged in a rosy light as: 'This child really needs a home'.”
At Ghana, we were ready to leave and pick up a little boy. We had his information and photos. But we received a call saying that the birth certificate might be forged.
Nel
adoptive parent
So Nel moved with her husband to Portugal, one of the most popular countries of origin for the past few years, because singles and gay couples are also allowed to adopt there. For Nel’s family, the reason is different. They initially considered Ghana and Vietnam. “In Vietnam, it didn’t feel right, and we pulled the plug on the adoption process ourselves. Someone from an adoption agency drops by for coffee at a place where children are running around everywhere, just to pitch your file there. With Ghana, we were ready to leave and pick up a baby boy. We had his information and photos. But we received a call saying that the birth certificate might have been forged.”
The couple lost a lot of money on both proceedings, but found solace in Portugal. That felt good, because they received a file containing their daughter's entire story. However, the question today is: is that story accurate?
Lies
Leonor, then three years old, has been part of the family since May 2023. Although in reality, she must have been older. This week, following various medical examinations, Nel was told that there is an age difference of at least two years compared to what is officially stated in the adoption file. Fraud, in other words. Falsifying ages is a scourge in transnational adoption, says Yung Fierens, who was illegally adopted himself and is the chair of Cafe (Critical Adoptees Front Europe), an international association of and for adoptees. “In those seventy years of intercountry adoption, age falsification is the common thread.”
“They do it to get children pushed through the system even when they are actually already too old to be adopted. Or in the context of identity falsification if the children still have living parents, as the truth is harder to ascertain. Or to explain a fabricated developmental delay when they are labeled as having 'special needs'. This concerns children who cannot find care in their own country. If those children are placed, adoption agencies receive higher commissions.”
“What if our family couldn’t bear the care? Then children are placed back in an institution. The lying takes its revenge. I think it is a twisted system.”
Nel
adoptive parent
Nel’s daughter has those 'special needs': she has a disability. “Her diagnosis was hastily written down in pen. Once in Belgium, we underwent neurological examinations and that diagnosis turned out to be wrong. It turned out there was much more going on than they had told us. My daughter has great difficulty regulating emotions. And we had not expected the needs to be so high. What if our family couldn't bear the care? Then children are placed back in an institution. The lying takes its revenge. I think it is a twisted system. I have filed a complaint about this. The Flemish Centre for Adoption (VCA) should have checked more strictly.”
Stop
Nel is not happy with the adoption services in our country. “From the very beginning, I asked if contact with my daughter’s biological mother was possible. I was told that it wouldn’t be a problem. But the VCA suddenly says she is untraceable. Yet I can find her with a single Google search. I can only guess why they are doing this. We are also left to our own devices regarding guidance and aftercare. We have to figure it out ourselves.”
Fierens also deplores the lack of professionalism at the adoption agencies. “Two closed their doors due to increasing criticism. That says enough. The system simply cannot be straightened out.”
On some days, I think my daughter might have been better off staying in Portugal. Above all, I want intercountry adoption to stop.
Nel
For the family, the wrapped fairy tale has given way to question marks and grief. To the disruption of the child. Essential information about her origins is incorrect, leaving questions of identity unanswered. “Despite her disability, she has many questions. I am as open as possible. But are the answers I have actually correct? I have no mental space to start a lawsuit. Even then, it feels like word against word.”
She finds the question of whether she regrets the adoption confronting. “With what I know now, I would never do it again. On some days, I think my daughter might have been better off staying in Portugal. Above all, I want intercountry adoption to stop. Out of ten files, things might go well in six cases, but for those other four, it is trauma. That makes me very angry. I hope my story can open eyes and that politicians find the courage to say: enough is enough.”
Nel and Leonor are pseudonyms. Anyone with questions about illegal adoptions can find more information via yung@cafe.be. Cafe is organizing an online information session for victims of illegal adoptions on February 28.
Time for a ban?
Since December 2023, intercountry adoptions in Flanders have been on hold. That decision was made by then-Minister of Welfare Hilde Crevits (CD&V). Groen is calling for decisive action and demands a ban on transnational adoptions in Flanders.
The party is submitting a resolution to parliament today regarding this matter. It also calls for a better investigation into the abuses by a mediation commission. That evaluation has been running for two and a half years now, but in the wrong way, says adoption expert Yung Fierens. “The VCA conducts the investigation, but they are a directly involved party in illegal adoptions. It is simply ridiculous that they have to investigate complaints about themselves?”
In the waiting room
Despite the pause, people can still register as adoptive parents today. Since the suspension, 250 people have done so, which is only causing the waiting list of 1,000 families to grow. “People are in the waiting room, because no processes are being started for the time being. It creates false expectations,” says Fierens. “Families who already received permission from the judge before the pause can complete their adoption procedure. That is their legal right, but it also means that abuses took place over the past few months.” This concerns thirty cases. “There are recent stories of children who ended up in a Flemish family, but where the care was too intensive for the parents. Some were sent back.”
Current Minister of Welfare Caroline Gennez (Vooruit) states that international adoption must primarily be a means to protect children in need and provide them with a safe home. “The previous Flemish government imposed a moratorium on adoptions, and the rules regarding countries of origin have since been tightened. Rightly so. This testimony proves that once again. We must absolutely avoid such abuses in the future.”
Not enough guarantees
Green MP Jeremie Vaneeckhout believes that despite stricter regulations, the core of the problem remains. “Both Flemish reports and international developments show that the debate is shifting from 'organizing better' to 'is this practice still justifiable?' There are simply not enough guarantees that the best interests of the child come first.”
In Flanders, we are in a transitional phase, according to Minister Gennez. “The foreign adoptions that were still ongoing before the pause came into effect will be finalized. From now on, we will only work with countries that are fully transparent about their adoption procedures. If that transparency cannot be guaranteed, and there is no certainty regarding the origin and background of the child, then adoption is simply not justifiable. A thorough evaluation of the adoption policy is underway.” The minister cannot state when this will be finally completed.