Fwd: Post Adoption Services
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Sudatta Parivar
Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2019 at 11:20 PM
Subject: Post Adoption Services
To:
Dear Arun
It was a pleasure to receive your call that day. I have high regards for your work in the field of adoption these 20 years.
Please read this perhaps long mail as between one professional to another (not between acquaintances in the same field). When you called I had told you that only two-thirds I could understand and remaining is extrapolation. My son has my mobile all the time and I see WA only in the night. In case you want to say disagree / give additional info please send a mail until I fix my hearing-problem next month
My understanding has been that your area of activity is Prevention of Child Trafficking (which essentially is a pre-adoption work). Your mail address reinforces that. I am only into post-adoption services and hence (to use your blunt words) I do not compete with you. Just about two weeks ago I was contemplating reaching you to explore how we could work together. But after your msgs and calls everyday, I realize that you will rest only if I say I will keep off (from adoption-search?)
Please see SuDatta website (though not updated otherwise) where it is clearly mentioned that our Post Adoption Services addresses concerns of individual families providing essentially intellectual / emotional / psychological support (and not legal / financial). We contacted APA Australia (Julia & others) in 1994. In 1996 (Hoksbergen & others) from Netherlands came to India at their cost and conducted a residential 2-day workshop for us. These 25+ years, many such adoption-authors have come to India numerous times and taken bits of Indian culture to their respective countries (for adoptive families there). Each time there would be some family into 'search' too. Whenever I make a call to any Adoption-Agency, they become very defensive. Many have requested me to keep off. Many said that they would like to communicate only with adoptive families directly. Some said they do not encourage middle-men. One lady threatened that she will complain to CARA
I am an Indian Associate for ISS. There is no exclusivity and hence ISS might be having one (or many) more reps. Any (especially non-Indian) organization would have a Contract. While I am not allowed to share the Contract with anyone, I can assure you that the clauses are very general but indicating genuine intent. When ISS wanted Vidya to be their Associate, she requested me to take the (social) responsibility since she got tied up with her commercial venture (running schools). For more than a year my interactions with ISS is not much after I got a mail from them that the govt funding that they were receiving has stopped. Any adoptive-family, if they are interested would need to pay. Everyone dropped out
I have now understood that you want to settle scores with ISS. Please go ahead, but why target me? As you can see from the attached Profile, my core area is Preparation (of the adoptive families). I will be a senior citizen in a few months and would like to invest more time on Spirituality (please visit www.CentreForSpiritualBeings.In). If I keep off as indicated by you, ISS will have someone else in my place
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SEEMINGLY OUT OF CONTEXT ... BUT NO
Vidya was my wife for almost 3 decades, but 4 years back she walked out of the house. If in a village, I would have informed the Panchayat, all villagers would have been ordered to slap Vidya asking her to get back home and keep the fight within. Even though she ditched the family I have been able to hold on to whatever is left in our (overall core & extended) family-unit
She said I am a psycho-case and bought medicines from a Psychiatrist. Even if I am one, will I take medicines bought by her? Her lawyer spoke to me threatening that I could easily be arrested (NBW) if Vidya just foists a fake domestic-violence case. I surrendered at Adyar Police Station but they could not arrest me since there was no case filed. Another lawyer of hers sent a legal-notice (signed by my daughter) for one of the properties, asked the tenant to vacate without my knowledge, changed the lock preventing my access and rejected my request for an one-time-access to take my belongings. She always had money and I had borrowed 7.5lacs (and promptly returned to her). After she walked away, she has so far paid close to 80lacs as rent alone. There are plenty of donors for her so I stopped being one. She is Materialistic which is okay. But she wants properties that are self-earned (and I had spent my prime paying EMI for 50lacs loan). She has (in writing) refused to cooperate transferring properties to our children. Unfortunately I bought properties in joint names and now my entire time goes on discussions with Advocates. I earned for the sake of the next generation and my aim is to reach all the properties to our children. I will fight her legally and be fair to both our children.
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I am older than you so let me take the liberty of requesting you to focus on your core competence (prevention of trafficking). Best wishes Arun.
Thanks and regards