Ronald Federici's daughter speaks out

Ronald Federici's daughter speaks out
Ronald Federici's daughter has surfaced online.

Here's what she has to say about life in the Federici household.

ETA: Link is inactive after the blog maintainer received personal threats from Federici. You can still read the statements at child advocacy group PPL.org

Initial skepticism was waived when a Federici supporter (someone whom the leading members of ACT have cited good reason to believe is Federici himself waving a sockpuppet under the alias "mom4all") then vehemently turned on Federici's adopted daughter "Lanie" and revealed copious personal information about her in a highly inappropriate way.

The following are personal statements and opinions from people who know Federici independently:

From one source:

I was very aware of the situation with Mr. Federici and his “standing” in the community as well as his atttempt at gaining guardianship of his daughter. From my experience with both, it is clear to me that mom4all is actually Ron Federici writing. This is exactly the way he talks about adopted children - “damaged” - and the way he talks about his daughter - on the streets, lying etc. Many of my friends in the adoption community have seen Ron Federici and never been back - they find him frightening. His practice is all but gone. He lies about everything - used to have on his website that he was a physician, which he is not. In the guardianship hearing for his daughter the judge was horrified to learn that he had represented to multiple people that he was his daughter’s guardian - a blatant lie. Ron’s path to “helping” these children, including his own, is CONTROL, to the point of child abuse. When his daughter dared to leave home to escape his control, his response was to seek guardianship. Quite a guy and NOT the model I look to for adoptive parenting.

From another, someone who allegedly knows Federici and his practice very well:

Why does this person who supposedly has been so helped by Dr. Federici not divulge who they are? Elena is “out there” with her identity- what about you, her accuser? If you have been so helped, why won’t you proudly state who you are along with the names of all of the “professionals” you claim tried to help her? Unless of course if you are Federici. The truth is known by too many people and putting out anonymous posts is not going to work anymore. The house of cards is crumbling, thank goodness!

I have known Elena, Dr Federici’s adopted daughter very well also. I have known her for years. She has always been a very sweet and well behaved young lady. To be candid, and I sincerely apologize Elena if this is unkind for me to say in this brief a manner, she has always been somewhat regressed in her behavior. This is undoubtedly in part due to the fact that her adoptive father raised her to be entirely dependent on him. He tried very hard to ensure none of his kids would ever get out of the house and away from his control. She wouldn’t have dreamed of smoking or drinking or any of the bad behaviors she has been accused of by her adoptive father. She was extremely physically and emotionally abused by her adoptive father for years, as were her 3 adopted siblings.

I asked his son once why his dad works with children when it is obvious that he hates them so. His son said, “because who is going to believe us? He can get away with whatever he wants and no one will listen to us”. This boy is enlisted in the Marines now, and he would be better off in Iraq than back home with his adoptive father.

Of his 4 adopted children, only one remains at home. He is there because he is the only one Federici managed to get a guardianship on even though he is now almost 25 years old, can read and write and hold down a job (which he has for many years). He is not even allowed to get a drivers license even though he is perfectly capable. The others got out, thank goodness. It is well known in professional circles that the supposed other 3 kids (of the “seven”) –are not his kids. One is a Russian girl who has both mom and dad–and lives with them in Russia. He has brought her over to the US for an occasional visit. She is not his daughter. The other two young ladies are Romanian girls. They have never even been to the US. He helped find foster homes for them, and they are now both grown now and out of foster care in Romania. They are not now–nor were they ever been his children. This lie is typical of what this man does. He truly doesn’t seem to be able to discern reality.

Anyone who is even remotely considering trusting their children to this man needs to read the full disclosure on this web site
http://www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/federici.html

What kind of professional lies about the number of children they have or the degrees they possess or what university they attended?

Elena! There is a better life out there for you! You are beautiful and precious and there is only one YOU in the entire world! The Job Corps is a great opportunity for you to find a career. I hope and pray that enough truth and strength has been instilled into you that God can continue to lead you to freedom. Your story will help and bless others as you heal and raise your child. I am so happy and proud of you for your courage! Most people will never know what it takes for you to get out of there and stand up for yourself. But most of the people on this list will support and applaud you and God will honor your desire for a healthy life for you and your beautiful daughter!

I remember when he met one of his secretary’s children for the first time when she had just had her baby. He was a beautiful healthy baby—and Dr. Federici’s very serious comment made for all to hear was, “I told you you should have had an abortion”. I assure you he wasn’t kidding. It isn’t you Elena!! It’s him—and you are rid of that—and your daughter will never have to suffer the way you have. Someday I hope you will write a book!

A second comment from this source:

Federici has openly bragged about hitting his daughter so hard with a 2 by 4 that he literally broke it on her. He has dragged her around the room by her hair (he continued this into her adulthood and she would even cut her own hair off to try to keep him from doing it), and struck her repeatedly over a period of many years. The son who is in the Marines was beaten so badly when he was 5 years old (he was adopted at age 4) that Federici and his then wife kept him home from school for 2 weeks. He thought he was getting special privileges as he was allowed to sit in the hot tub every day while at home recovering so no one would see his bruises. He too is a very sweet and well behaved boy.

As horrific as this is, the emotional abuse was probably much worse. He would tell one of his Romanian boys that he was just like his father and that he would end up in prison, until the boy would scream and cry and beg for Federici to stop, but that just egged him on.

His first wife finally had enough and left. It didn’t take his second wife as long to figure things out and leave him as well. The “oldest friend of the family” is his office manager, Kathleen who he references in his post. She is no longer on his website as his employee (as she has been for 20 years)–so maybe she finally had enough too. Anyone who spends any time around Federici figures it out, but then they have to go through witness protection to get away!

He brags about breaking peoples knees with a baseball bat, dousing a man with gasoline and lighting a match to threaten him to do his bidding, and hanging a man out of the window by his ankles to threaten him into acquiescing to Federici’s request.

He has a slew of attorneys whom he regularly uses as attack dogs–suing so many people repeatedly until they are beaten down and broke. Hopefully this answers the question of why he still has his license. People are justifiably terrified of him.

Lanie honey, there were witnesses to what he did to you. There were 2 moms, family and friends. This mom4all person is definitely him as you likely have figured out. Don’t engage him. The truth is known by many and most importantly by God. You should continue to share with this list as you need to and with people who can help you heal. Just don’t feel that you have to respond to his ridiculous allegations.

Finally, one statement from Lanie:

In our home it felt like we were in battle all the time. My dad has this special thing that he does all the time. Its called divide and conquer. He would divide my brothers and me so that we would be weak and he would be able to control us that way. He would make us fight against ourselves so that we wouldnt get together and fight together. We would tell on each other so that we wouldnt be in the spotlight One day we told my dad that my older brother (the one that has hemophilia) wanted to kill himself. My dad took my brother and beat the living daylights out of him! I couldnt believe it! How could someone do that to another person? The last time that he tried to control me and hold me down I bit him. I was trying to leave the house and he wouldnt let me. He was going to put a choke hold on me and I wouldnt let that happen. So I bit him to let me go. When he took me to court he made up a lie saying that I was trying to leave and he wanted to talk to me and I attacked him! Whenever I tried to get close to him he would act all nice until later on he uses the things that I tell him against me! He would add on to the things that I would tell him making me feel stupid for even trying to trust him. I realized that you can Never trust this man or even try to.