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Agony of finally tracking down the mother who gave you up as a child... only to be cruelly rejected all over again. After ANDREW PIERCE'S smash-hit book telling of his adoption, Mail readers share their stories

When I sat down to write about the search for my long-lost birth mother I had no idea that I would be opening a door into the lives of so many other people who had hauntingly similar experiences.

Ever since the Daily Mail serialised my book, Finding Margaret: Solving The Mystery Of My Birth Mother, two months ago, I have been overwhelmed with ­heartfelt letters, emails and telephone calls. People from all over the world have wanted to share their own stories.

Andrew Pierce with his birth mother Margaret who he tracked down at the age of 48+7

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Andrew Pierce with his birth mother Margaret who he tracked down at the age of 48 

Surrogate mother wins access to her biological son in landmark case - after gay couple said it was 'homophobic' for her to be involved in their 'motherless family' with 'no vacancy' for a woman

 

 

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between the mother and a son, so the proverb goes.

But this fundamental bond has been tested in a landmark legal battle in London where a surrogate mother had to fight her child's same-sex parents through the courts to see him regularly, MailOnline can reveal today.

Adopted woman who was reunited with her birth mother in Sri Lanka via video call on Long Lost Family admits they haven't spoken since as her existence is being kept a 'secret' from other relatives due to 'shame'

  • Yasika Fernando, from London, only discovered she was adopted at the age of 18
  • With the help of Long Lost Family team, she found her Sri Lankan birth mother
  • They reunited via video call two years ago but haven't spoken to each other since
  • Yasika told tonight's Long Lost Family: What Happened Next that her birth mother is keeping her existence a 'secret' from other relatives due to 'shame'

 

 

A woman who was given up by her Sri Lankan birth mother when she was just three months old before finally being reunited with her on Long Lost Family has told how they haven't spoken since.

London-based Yasika Fernando met her biological mother - who didn't want to appear on camera - via video call after she travelled to Sri Lanka to find her.

For 19 years I believed my newborn daughter had died... then I discovered the horrifying truth: She was snatched at birth alongside thousands of other children and handed to a more 'suitable' couple

Following a traumatic birth, Ruth Appleby wanted nothing more than to cradle her baby daughter in her arms.

Named Rebecca, she had been whisked away following Ruth’s Caesarean section, and whenever the then 29-year-old asked nurses when she could see her, the reply was always ‘soon’.

It was left to her husband Howard to tell Ruth the devastating news that it would never happen: Rebecca had, inexplicably, died within hours of being born.

 

As the obstetrician later explained, it was like a ‘bad lottery’.

Why were there so many international adoptions in the past?

 

In Switzerland, 14 cantons want to work more closely together to help adopted individuals find their biological parents. In the past, not everything was always done by the book.

 

 

Why were there so many international adoptions in the past?

[<I>Hankyoreh 21</i> Cover Story] Holt International’s price for children

 

“Adoption industry is the fault of the State that sits on the fence”

 May 5

 

Her siblings hated Leanne. She had small eyes and black hair. Leanne was the only person of Asian descent that lived in her small neighborhood located in the city of Detroit, Michigan. Her three siblings bullied her and her adoptive parents abused her. It was a different story though when Leanne was first received into the arms of her adoptive parents in December of 1966. They voluntarily adopted Leanne. They must have once had sympathy for a baby coming from a poor country.

Girl #4708; The truth of the adoption industry that no one is responsible for

An interpretation of the Hankyoreh21 article (I’m really distraught because I purchased a digital voice recorder but didn’t hit save prior to turning off the recorder so it all got lost – the instructions were all in Korean, so I didn’t know – and she read 90% of the article translating every line – argh!) as relayed to me roughly by my translator.  (I will add links with references and supporting data this week after I write my lesson plan)

They begin the article with my sad story and briefly touch on some of the difficulties encountered in my search for the truth.  Basically, they use me as an example of what could go wrong yet also use my struggles for identity as a mirror into the future of all the babies currently being sent abroad for adoption.  They say the mess is left up to the children to deal with, but it’s the country’s fault from beginning to end.

They go over the history of adoption in Korea and compare figures that tell a tale of adoption rates increasing after war reconstruction, when the opposite should be the expected result.  They break down the number of Korean children going to each country, from each of the four main international adoption agencies. (Holt, Social Welfare Services, Eastern, and Korea Social Services)  From Holt’s website, they list the adoption fees for available children from different countries and note some of the language Holt uses now and in the past regarding Korean children and the fees they command.  It looks like pricetags.  It looks like shopping.  And Korean children are valued more.  Because they are smart, taken as infants, and well cared for in foster homes.  There is also less paperwork and it is easier to get a Korean child than a child from some other countries.  They break down how much money international adoption generates for Holt International and how much Holt Korea gets of that.  Holt Korea will not disclose how they spend their percentage of these adoption fees, though they give a statement as to the nature of the work they do and their relative costs.  They also illustrate (the translation was fuzzy on this) how the distribution is supposed to be spread evenly amongst the purchasing countries, but somehow the United States has always taken the lions share of children.  The higher fees might have something to do with this imbalance.  It is pointed out that adoption here is a small industry and how many people Holt employs. (something around 270 if my memory serves me correctly)

Korea did not sign the Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption.  Neither did they sign the U.N.’s Convention on the Rights of the Child.  Korea has responded in the past to criticism about exporting children by either making meaningless gestures or by reducing transparency.  After public attack by North Korea about their adoption policy, Korea privatized what little governmental oversight was left of their ministry of health and welfare adoption section (not the exact name) so as to diffuse the criticism.  Also as a result of this privatization, adoption agencies were free to demand non-disclosure agreements from all of its employees, further exacerbating the dissemination of information to adoptees in search.  After renewed global criticism of Korea’s continued international adoption in the wake of its show-case development during the 1988 Olympic Games held in Seoul, Korea unveiled a quota system to gradually reduce adoptions and ultimately eliminate them by 2015.  (The late-breaking news from TRACK is that the end date of international adoption has been struck from the draft revisions to Korea’s Special Adoption Law going to vote by the National Assembly this year – this is an incredible setback – the opposite of progress – no exit strategy in sight) And in 1998, the late president Kim Dae Jung issued an apology to those adopted Koreans living in Korea.  YET, despite the apology, no change in policy materialized.  (Currently, they are attempting to create an independent body overseeing adoption matters as required by the Hague Convention, yet the body they have created is not a governmental body so not in keeping with the intent of the convention.  Korea’s dancing around the Hague Convention is much like the United States’ record with the Kyoto Protocol)

There are something like 72 (I’m doing this by memory and need to double-check this somehow) homes for unwed mothers RUN BY or affiliated with ADOPTION AGENCIES in Korea.  (no conflict of interest there)  The largest share being run by or affiliated with Holt.  In Korea, there is no waiting period required before a mother can relinquish her child, and this can be done while the child is in utero.  (This practice is illegal in the United States because it was an opportunity for coercion on a mass scale up until the 60’s and these unwed mother’s homes were referred to as “baby farms.”)  Unwed mothers (up until the end of this month, where it will be doubled) who keep their babies can receive only 50,000 won per month in assistance.  (That’s equivalent to $40.00 U.S. at today’s rates – foster families receive double that – and this is in an economy where incomes and the cost of living is on par with the U.S.)  The article goes on to describe how adoption is offered as the FIRST option to unwed mothers upon giving birth, and keeping the baby as the SECOND option.

SC: Entertain OCI mother’s plea for adoption verification of her twin kids

The Supreme Court has directed the Chennai collector and the district child protection officer to entertain and process a plea filed by a single adoptive mother, who is an overseas citizen Of India (OCI) and seeking ‘verification’ of adoption of…

 

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The Supreme Court has directed the Chennai collector and the district child protection officer to entertain and process a plea filed by a single adoptive mother, who is an overseas citizen Of India (OCI) and seeking ‘verification’ of adoption of her twin adoptive children, born to her brother by surrogacy.

Reconciliation Without Borders

By Han Boon-young

Twenty-seven years ago, in one of the famous prison letters to his wife, Kim Dae-jung brought up the issue of transnational adoption from Korea.

While contemplating the moral aspects of inter-country adoption in a time of economic growth and national prosperity, he was equally moved by the existential struggle of the adoptees returning to Korea and ashamed of the nation's reckless abandonment of its sons and daughters.

 

During the long years in opposition and exile from his own country, Kim and his wife had many opportunities to meet with individuals and representatives from communities around the world.

Viet Nam Family Search

Our shared journey

We are an adoptee-led not-for-profit organization that offers search services for Vietnamese intercountry adoptees and their families. As an adoptee-led organization, know that you will be supported by a network of people who will bring lived experience and insight to support you on your journey.

We work from the perspective that each journey is unique and that understanding the story of each person we work with is integral to the process of searching. We operate from the principles of integrity, accountability, and empathy and place priority on the person at the center of the journey.

Our work involves collaboration with other trusted organizations within Vietnam that can provide access to translators and advocates who help to navigate cultural barriers and language differences. We have access to records that may further assist you with your search.