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Adoption: More Than One Moment in Time

When most of us think about international adoption, we take a process with lifetime and generational implications and narrow it down to one brief moment in time — the moment an adoptive parent meets their child for the first time. We watch videos of an adoptive parent’s first embrace of their new child; see the child cry and pull away or perhaps fiercely hug the adoptive parent back, and we are overcome by this moment.

Few other moments in life are as transformational or poignant as when complete strangers come together as a family for the first time.

But those impacted by adoption know it cannot be distilled down to a single point in time. Adoption begins with a woman learning she is pregnant and feeling completely overwhelmed with how she will care for and raise a child. It begins with a family experiencing a series of setbacks that leads them to consider the unimaginable — is there someone else, anyone else, who can care for my children if I reach the breaking point?

Flash forward in time to an adoptee graduating college, getting married, having a baby. The adoptee wonders if his birth parents had the opportunity to graduate from high school or college as he himself walks across the stage to accept his diploma. An adoptee stands before the alter and wonders how her wedding might be different if her birth father and birth mother were sitting in the front row next to her adoptive parents, witnessing her exchange wedding vows. When an adoptee gives birth to her first child, she looks into the eyes of her newborn and sees her birth family’s genetic legacy looking back at her.

The reality of adoption is that the impact begins well before a child is placed for adoption and extends far beyond the moment of placement, into eternity.

The trail comes to a dead end; everything points to adoption fraud

Sumiati knows better than anyone that adoption is not always a sweet spot. When she was six months old, she was adopted from Indonesia. For years, Sumiati struggled with the feeling that she was not wanted. To get answers, she looked for her biological mother. The trail ended when she found out that there was an adoption fraud.

“I was six months old when I was picked up by my adoptive parents from a children's home in Indonesia. I grew up in an environment where everyone was white and, with my dark skin tone, always felt like the odd man out. In addition, I constantly had the feeling that I was missing something. It felt like nostalgia for something unknown. When I tried to put these feelings into words, I was told to be grateful for the opportunities presented to me, because life in Indonesia would have been much more difficult. Of course I am grateful for the material prosperity in the Netherlands and for all the opportunities that I have been given, but there was no room for that gnawing bit of lack, deep inside. ”

DEPRESSIONS

'I started to suffer from depression, an inferiority complex and a personality disorder and struggled with the question of whether my life had any meaning. My home situation made everything even more complex, because my adoptive father had also had a difficult childhood and that had an effect on the upbringing. He considered himself my savior and made me feel like I had to excel at everything. This reinforced my feeling that I should not have been born. I thought that my existence was useless because my biological mother didn't want me and I was a disappointment to my adoptive parents. ”

'I was a mistake that had to go'

Vacancy Communication Advisor Online

Are you an online marketer with a love for social media and do you want to contribute to the visibility of Fiom? Then we are looking for you!

Fiom is a knowledge center in the field of unwanted pregnancy, distance & adoption and relationship questions. We offer information and assistance in the event of an unwanted pregnancy, information, preparation and aftercare in the field of adoption and guide people in their search for biological family at home and abroad. In addition, we manage the KID-DNA Database that enables a match between a donor child and an anonymous donor. We do all this with approximately 70 motivated employees from our offices in 's-Hertogenbosch and Houten.

To strengthen the communication team, we are looking for a:

Communication Advisor Online

28 to 32 hours a week

'We want to prepare adoptees emotionally'

Connecting with the original family is a delicate matter for adoptees. A website wants to offer help.

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DCI-Liberia Wants GOL Investigate the Trafficking of 34 Children

Defence for Children International-Liberia (DCI-L), a child right advocacy group, has called on the government through the ministries of Justice and Labor to investigate 34 children trafficked from communities in Todee, Lower Montserrado County.

Foday M. Kawah, DCI-L Executive Director, at a press conference held in Monrovia, said DCI-Liberia during its preliminary investigation conducted in Todee communities including Zuana Town, Kpenibu Town, Dowee Town, Tokpalon Town, Gbeno Town, Juhag Town, Kaiyeah Town, Gbajah Town, Beabah Town, Nyehn town and Bona Fahn and came to a conclusion that 23 parents have been allegedly victimized by child trafficking.

Kawah, speaking on June 9, said the incident occurred ten years ago (2004-2009), during which 34 children were allegedly “abducted, smuggled and trafficked” from their parents and subsequently adopted by the West African Children Support Network (WACSN) without their consent.

He said out of a total of 34 children, there were 12 boys and 22 girls who are believed to be trafficked in the US and other parts of the world.

Kawah, therefore, is calling on the government of Liberia to investigate at the level of the Probate Court whether or not the biological parents of these children gave consent prior to adoption; ascertain whether these children were adopted with their known names and that the state party takes urgent measures to abolish informal adoptions and expedite the enactment of the Adoption Bill, as well as ratify the 1993 Hague Convention No. 33 on Protection of Children and Cooperation regarding Inter-country Adoption and the Proper implementation or enforcement of the Anti-Trafficking law.

NEW ADOPTION SCANDAL REVEALED IN BRAZIL TWO THOUSAND BABIES SOLD IN EUROPE

New adoption scandal revealed in Brazil

Two thousand babies sold in Europe

Once again the international traffic of babies is in the headlines of Brazilian newspapers after the arrest in Curitiba (South) of a fake lawyer, Arlete Hilu, accused of leading one of the most important networks of illegal adoption of Brazilian children by foreigners.

Suspected of having sold some 2,000 children to foreign couples, especially Europeans, Ms. Hilu had already served a prison sentence from March 1987 to December 1989 for this trafficking which can bring in up to 350,000 BF per baby.

For several years now, a real clandestine child export industry has been established in Brazil: on the one hand, couples from rich countries in need of children, on the other, Brazilian women in misery who agree to undoing their baby in exchange for a minimum wage (1,700 BF), often right after childbirth. Women posing as social workers or nurses roam the “favelas” (slums), looking for mothers-to-be in distress likely to abandon their babies and to whom they promise a pittance or a free tubal ligation after the surgery. delivery.

Intercountry adoption, trauma and dissociation: Combining interventions to enhance integration

Although intercountry adoption, according to systematic reviews as well as meta-analysis, is from a perspective of child protection, a successful intervention, this often comes at the cost of lengthy therapy and support. Both in studies as in clinical practice intercountry adoptees are overrepresented in mental health services worldwide (Barroso, Barbosa-Ducharne, Coelho, Costa, & Silva 2017; Palacios & Brodzinsky, 2011; Van IJzendoorn & Juffer, 2006; Rutter et al., 2009). From my clinical experience, the focus on classifying the problems and using highly standardized treatments are not enough to help intercountry adoptees and their families (Vinke, 2011, 2012). In this practice-based article, I propose to use the concept of Van der Kolk's Developmental Trauma Disorder to describe the problems intercountry adoptees face in combination with Waters’ Star model (Waters, 2016; Van der Kolk et al., 2009; Gindis, 2019). Although not an official DSM-5 disorder, DTD has been embraced by many clinicians as a valid concept to approach the diversity of symptoms seen in patients coming from severe deprivational backgrounds such as intercountry adoptees. Both have proven useful in my small private practice2DTD and the Star model prove helpful especially when dealing with dissociative symptoms. In 2004, the ISSTD published guidelines on evaluation and treatment of dissociative symptoms in children and adolescents, yet dissociation is hardly ever mentioned in diagnostical evaluations. This strikes as odd since in daily life of adopted families, in clinical practice, in peer supervision, when discussed, dissociative behaviours seem often very present. Still they are hardly ever referred to in research, assessment or treatment in relation to intercountry adoptees. In this article, I will focus on trauma related dissociation in intercountry adoptees and present a theoretically informed, practical approach to this phenomenon with respect to intercountry adoptees that integrates insights from developmental, trauma and neurobiological research. The approach is illustrated by using some clinical case-examples.

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The National Board of Appeal and Shejar Chhaya

The TV2 documentary "The Danish children from India" can give rise to a number of questions about adoption from the orphanage Shejar Chhaya and a study that the National Board of Appeal launched in 2014. Here you can see our answers.

Briefly about the course

2005 AC Børnehjælp interrupts the collaboration with Shejar Chhaya due to lack of development in the quality of the work.

2014 Media coverage of problems with adoptions by Shejar Chhaya from 2004 to 2008.

2014 The National Board of Appeal launches investigation of Danish adoption cases from the orphanage in the period from 2004-2005

CBS survey commissioned by the Joustra Committee

As a result of a questionnaire from the Central Bureau of Statistics (CBS), which was drawn up on behalf of the Committee for the Investigation of Intercountry Adoption, and which was distributed by post among international adoptees on Friday 17 April, many recipients have raised questions about the purpose. of this research. Not only with regard to the purpose, but there is also concern about the method of obtaining personal data: how does Statistics Netherlands know that we have been adopted (abroad)?

On April 17, I wrote to Mr Daalmans and Mr Van der Schors about this by e-mail. On April 20, Mr. Daalmans called me back with an explanation of a response that was in preparation and which I would receive later by e-mail. He first wanted to clear the air by phone.

My main concern is that subjective feelings about how adoption per individual has turned out do not fit into an investigation into abuses in intercountry adoption. It seemed for a while, given the highlighted parts of the survey (what was your relationship with your educators, what was your school days, what are your social contacts, what do you think about adoption) that the CBS survey would be about this. In the past, adoptees have already taken part in satisfaction surveys, in which the results were used by all kinds of parties and misused to proclaim their own vision towards politics and government. I also emphasized this in the telephone conversation. I also explained in more detail why I think that the entire explanation in the accompanying letter and folder creates a lot of confusion. The approach of the CBS survey and the research process has been described in such a way that it seems to me that the group of adoptees is once again being used for a useless satisfaction survey. Incidentally, FIOM is already mapping out the needs and wishes of adoptees in their search for their roots. Are all those studies next to each other now all necessary? It all costs time and money. Are all those studies side by side now all necessary? It all costs time and money. Are all those studies next to each other now all necessary? It all costs time and money.

Mr. Daalmans explained that a questionnaire was drawn up in the context of the independent investigation into intercountry adoption in the past, so that the committee can include the results in the recommendations that will be addressed to the Ministry of Justice and Security. The CBS investigation is therefore part of the investigation into abuses in international adoptions in the past and the results will be incorporated in the report that is expected in October 2020. However, it is not a question of whether or not the adoptee is satisfied with the fact that he or she has been adopted, said Mr Daalmans. If it is found that the Dutch government has failed in the past, it is therefore also important to know what the needs of adoptees are in the context of root search and what they may encounter as a result of those abuses. It may also be that the outcome is that nothing can be directly blamed on the Dutch government at the time, but that the Joustra Committee also makes recommendations about what the government could do (moral duty?) To support intercountry adoptees in answering parentage questions. . The committee wants to investigate this itself with the help of an independent research agency - which performs a task based on the Central Bureau of Statistics Act - and does not want to use the needs and wishes that the FIOM has collected during these recommendations all kinds of meetings with adoptees that have taken place recently. As I myself believe, FIOM is not a sufficiently independent party for this.

This was the thrust of the conversation. Below an explanation that I received by e-mail afterwards to supplement our conversation. Everyone has to decide for themselves whether or not to complete the survey on this basis. I do not want to go into that and I cannot determine that. I only tried to create more clarity about the purpose of the research, the way in which personal data are obtained and what the results are used for. In my opinion, it is important that the research method, the method of analysis and processing of the data obtained are adequately substantiated and justified in the report of the Joustra Committee. Validity and reliability of the study should also be discussed. Does the research provide an answer to the research question and do the results serve the actual purposepurpose of it? Unfortunately, we can only judge it properly afterwards.

‘We willen geadopteerden emotioneel voorbereiden’

WEBSITE HELPT GEADOPTEERDEN EN VERLOREN FAMILIE TE HERENIGEN

‘We willen geadopteerden emotioneel voorbereiden’

Contact maken met de oorspronkelijke familie is voor geadopteerden een delicate zaak. Een website wil hulp bieden.

VAN ONZE REDACTRICE ANOUK TORBEYNS

BRUSSELWat als ik geadopteerd ben en mijn oorspronkelijke familie wil zoeken of contacteren? De website A-search tracht geadopteerden met deze vragen een eind op weg te helpen. Hij is gemaakt door en voor geadopteerden.