Qian was adopted from China, but is now against adoption: 'It is not a solution for your childlessness'

It is incomprehensible that adoptions are still taking place today, according to journalist and documentary filmmaker Qian van Binsbergen. While making her documentary, she stumbled upon abuses surrounding adoptions that touch upon her own life story.

Was she two days old? Seven months? A year and a half? Qian van Binsbergen has a suitcase full of papers, but is not sure how old she was when she was brought to the orphanage in China.

And yet it is so telling. "It says something about the essence of why you were given up," she explains on *Dit is de dag * (EO). "With Chinese adoption, the one-child policy plays a role. In that case, agreements were made in advance to give up a child if it was a girl. If I was indeed only two days old, that would be an explanation."

But what is the truth? "If I follow the entire trail of my papers, I probably lived with my original family for two months. That means that my original mother not only carried me in her womb for nine months in circumstances I do not know, but also fought for another two months to keep me in her family."

That is very important for Van Binsbergen to know. "I grew up with the idea that I was unwanted. With the image: there was a one-child policy in China, I was a girl, get rid of me. As if I was thrown into the gutter without thinking. But this tells me that I was so wanted, that a mother fought for me in harsh circumstances."

Little has changed at Adope'

Last month, the journalist won the Silver Nipkow Disc (one of the most prestigious television awards in the Netherlands) for her documentary series De Afhaalchinees: Thuisbezorgd. In this documentary series, the sequel to her earlier series De Afhaalchinees, she takes a close look at the adoption system.

After winning the prize, she was not only happy, but also angry. Angry because intercountry adoption still takes place today. "There is still no full access to our adoption files and still no individual aftercare. It is nice to receive recognition and that people have become more critical of the adoption system, but ultimately, very little has changed."

Loneliness in Zeelandic Flanders

Van Binsbergen is of Chinese descent and grew up in Sluis, Zeelandic Flanders. Her dialect is clearly audible. "No matter how you look at it: my Chinese heritage is part of me, but the same goes for my West Zeelandic Flanders heritage. That is a part of my life."

Loneliness marked her childhood in the village, where she was practically the only person of color. "Not only in the village, but also in my family. I experienced quite a lot of racism, but there was very little understanding in my family. I do understand that, because my adoptive parents obviously never experienced this. They thought it was teasing. But I think I would have handled it differently myself."

 

Qian van Binsbergen

Journalist and documentary filmmaker

On the day my adoptive mother died, I went from 100 percent orphan to 150 percent orphan.

A natural reaction

She struggled with depressive feelings her entire life. When her mother died, she could not cope with the loss and fled to Groningen. She left her father behind. She became completely absorbed in her studies and work until she completely collapsed.

For eight months, she lay in bed. "At one point, I weighed only 50 kilos. I had never linked my feelings to adoption. But I realize now: on the day my mother died, I went from 100 percent orphan to 150 percent orphan," she reflects in her documentary series.

She has started looking her adoption past straight in the eye and now realizes: "It was a very natural reaction to an unnatural situation. Since I started making the documentary series, I have been able to process it more."

 

Qian van Binsbergen

Journalist and documentary filmmaker

It is incomprehensible that adoption is still possible.

Why don't we stop right away?

Child abduction, child trafficking, corruption, document forgery: the Joustra Commission report caused a major shock in the world of adoption in 2021. Therefore, the cabinet decided to phase out intercountry adoption: as of 2030, it will no longer be permitted.

Van Binsbergen wonders: why phase it out and not stop immediately? "There were already several critical reports on adoption. And since the 1970s, it was already known that there were quite a few flaws in the adoption system and that child trafficking could not be prevented. It was addressed too late. I also question whether you can still adopt as a prospective adoptive parent now."

Money laundering in adoption

She herself encountered inconsistencies in her papers. For instance, she made the disturbing discovery that the estimate of her age does not correspond with her date of birth. This could be an error, but also a sign of file laundering after children have been obtained illegally. In this way, the illegal circumstances can be concealed.

She also views her upbringing as a form of whitewashing. "I grew up as someone else's child, just a Dutch child. You are forced to adapt. In that sense, that is also whitewashing."

Adoption is not a solution for childlessness

No matter how pure the intentions of adoptive parents may be, it has profound consequences for the child's identity, says Van Binsbergen. “My adoptive parents tried to have a child for seventeen years. They had miscarriage after miscarriage. So I was incredibly wanted,” says Van Binsbergen. “But adoption is not the solution to your childlessness. The solution to your childlessness is grieving the fact that you were unable to conceive a child yourself.”

Furthermore, it is also incorrect that she is the child of her adoptive parents, says Van Binsbergen: "I already have parents, who count just as much. I was already someone before my adoption, with my own name, my own family, and my own history. My parents made their child out of my original identity. That will always be the case with adoption. Because you sever original ties and make them your own child."