She wanted to know where she came from

The young Allgäu native did not know her biological mother until now. Now she has visited them in Romania.

Roberta, 23:

I was adopted from an orphanage in Romania. I was two years and three months old then, today I'm 23 and have finished my training as a physiotherapist. My parents told me that the home was very poor. Later they adopted a little boy, who is my brother to me.

I've often wanted to look for the woman who gave birth to me and gave me away. Especially during puberty, I sometimes felt a little strange and didn't belong. And then one day, in 2016, I just did it. I wanted to cross the topic for myself. I had her name and roughly her age. When I saw a woman on Facebook, I knew immediately: That was her. We look alike. I thought it was pretty cool that there are still people who look almost like me. I've never had anyone who looked like me.

I skyped with her. She was pretty nervous, I was just a little bit nervous. Then we planned my trip to Romania, we had discussed that my parents would come with me. They support me a lot in every way.

My biological mother hugged me as a greeting

The first and only meeting took place in Arad, my hometown. My biological mother immediately hugged me as a greeting. It didn't make any sense to me, she had given me away and I didn't want to get emotionally involved. We spoke out, with the help of an interpreter. She felt pretty bad about this situation, she had something to explain, not me. She was very open, but I don't want to say anything more, everything is fine for me now. For me it was about seeing where I came from. What would have happened if I had stayed in this family or even in the orphanage, you don't really need to ask that question. I wouldn't have had any chances, that's the way it is, period.

Now I don't mind being given away anymore. Do I know what I would have done? Here in the Allgäu with a full stomach I would never have to make such a decision. I would rather be the child who was given away rather than the mother who gave away. She was a strange woman to me. It was still nice to meet her. We now have contact via Facebook Messenger maybe every two months, which is enough for me.

After the visit, I did a voluntary internship at the Pastraveni Center for the Disabled for six months. This used to be one of those terrible Romanian children's homes, but today it is a home where disabled people feel safe. I worked with people with severe multiple disabilities; we couldn't communicate with words. And yet it worked. They also noticed immediately when I had a bad day. All of this has sharpened my perception.

Romania somehow became close to me

Romania has somehow become close to me, I go there every now and then. I made close friends through the internship. And I can speak the language really well now. The people there are often so helpful and open and will offer you something to eat and drink first. But at some point you realize that most people there are struggling without any prospects. You are actually always tired.

Romania has made me mature. I don't get upset about little things anymore, a lot of things aren't that big of a deal. We can be happy to live here in Germany. My parents think that I also have something Romanian. I'm never in a hurry. And if they get upset about something, for example because they're stuck in a traffic jam for ages, I stay cool: That's just the way it is, then I'll find myself there.

For my training I lived in Ulm on the edge of the Swabian Alb and also had my first job there. But recently I moved back to the Allgäu. I'm really at home there. I love the mountains and the lakes, I hike and cycle quite a bit. I now live very close to my parents and grandparents. And I want everything to be the same at Christmas and Easter as always - the same meetings in the same place at the same time. Conclusion: I definitely have a piece of Romania in me and I'm really happy about it, but actually I'm a typical Allgäu girl - with a few different touches.

Protocol: Beate Blaha