Lara from Enschede is looking for her mother: 'The story about the orphanage was a lie'

Lara van Barneveld (48) from Enschede always found great comfort in a fairytale story about her adoption. That was based on what the orphanage had said about it. But a few years ago Lara discovered that things were very different. Now she does everything she can to find her biological mother. Her hopes are pinned on an advertisement in the newspaper.

"My adoptive parents were told that the orphanage staff in India opened the door in the morning and saw a box on the sidewalk. In the box was me, a cute baby barely a day old," says Lara. “And when I was little I imagined that I was the daughter of an Indian princess who for some reason couldn't keep me.”

But when Lara speaks to other people from the same orphanage, she finds out that they have all been told the same story. "That story is not correct, because we could never have all been found in a box in front of the orphanage." Since then, Lara has been searching with all her might for her biological parents in India.

Mistakes are often made when adopting from abroad because the system is susceptible to fraud. A well-known example of this is the story of the adoptive nun Gertrudis Kuijpers. She is accused of hundreds of illegal adoptions :

Lara van Barneveld (48) from Enschede always found great comfort in a fairytale story about her adoption. That was based on what the orphanage had said about it. But a few years ago Lara discovered that things were very different. Now she does everything she can to find her biological mother. Her hopes are pinned on an advertisement in the newspaper.

"My adoptive parents were told that the orphanage staff in India opened the door in the morning and saw a box on the sidewalk. In the box was me, a cute baby barely a day old," says Lara. “And when I was little I imagined that I was the daughter of an Indian princess who for some reason couldn't keep me.”

But when Lara speaks to other people from the same orphanage, she finds out that they have all been told the same story. "That story is not correct, because we could never have all been found in a box in front of the orphanage." Since then, Lara has been searching with all her might for her biological parents in India.

Mistakes are often made when adopting from abroad because the system is susceptible to fraud. A well-known example of this is the story of the adoptive nun Gertrudis Kuijpers. She is accused of hundreds of illegal adoptions :

Lara understands why the orphanage told the foundling story to adoptive parents. "It may have made it easier to find adoptive parents for us. And I am very happy that I was adopted, grateful too," she says. She has good reason for that. Most children later ended up in prostitution, if they survived the orphanage at all.

Are they still alive?

But she is also angry that they lied. "It makes it very difficult for us to find out where we come from. My adoption is like a common thread through my life. It keeps coming back and there are moments when I think or dream or hope. Who are my biological parents ?Are they still alive?”

On the advice of the other adopted children from the orphanage, she starts looking for relatives via a DNA database and that pays off. She finds two second cousins ​​who live in America. They don't know each other because they come from different families. They both go to investigate for Lara.

Big family secret

One cousin immediately encounters problems. "He didn't get any further with his parents. Maybe my adoption is a big family secret, they don't want to talk about it or no one knows about it." The other cousin carefully asked several family members if they knew anything, but that also came to nothing.

Fortunately, a DNA match will be available from the database later. "An uncle, also from America. His grandmother is my grandmother's sister." It's as if she has already found a piece of her biological family, even though they are further away from her. "I have built up a very nice bond with him. I have already been to him three times and will go again in three weeks."

Mumbai Times

That uncle also helps her look for her parents. "He came up with the idea of ​​hiring a detective agency in Mumbai to look for my mother. The question of who she is has always remained." This week there will be an advertisement in the Mumbai Times with a photo of Lara as a baby. "Everyone wants to get to know their mother. And once I find my biological parents, it really is a fairy tale."