A Quebecer sets out in search of her true identity
A Quebecer sets out in search of her true identity
Document type : Web page copy
Source : www.journaldemontreal.com
Publication date : December 6, 2024
The Journal followed her to her country of origin where she met her biological family
A Quebecer from Châteauguay discovered she had been a victim of child trafficking in 1991 when she was adopted from Romania. The Journal followed her during her investigation to find her identity back to her native country.
A Quebecer adopted in Romania in the 1990s had quite a shock when she discovered more than a year ago that she had not only been the victim of international child trafficking, but also sold under the identity of another baby. “It's as if I had lost everything, that I no longer had an identity... In a second I lost my name and my date of birth. Everything I thought I was since I was born has gone up in smoke,” says the woman who always thought her name was Roxana Pamela Harrison.
This 33-year-old young woman, who grew up in Châteauguay, had never wanted to look for her origins until March 2023, when a banal discussion in a beauty salon became the spark plug for a quest for identity.
“I knew I had been adopted, my parents had always told me that it had been a super ethical adoption, and I didn't feel the need to know,” she confides.
Adoption in the 1990sIf Roxana Pamela's parents turned to adoption, it was because they had not been able to have children. They first tried their luck in Quebec, but the many years of waiting discouraged them. They then heard about the story of a woman from Vancouver who had just arrived in Canada with a Romanian baby.
In less than a week, her (future) adoptive mother, Danielle Harrison, found herself on the other side of the ocean, in Bucharest, where she stayed for about two weeks before leaving with a chubby little girl with big blue eyes. and with blond hair.
Let the investigation begin
It was during a conversation between her best friend and a beautician about the fate of Romanian children, particularly Roma children, victims of human trafficking, that the Quebecer began to think about her own adoption.
“We were having a girls' night out when she told me that and it planted a little seed in my head.”
“A few long weeks later, we began our investigation,” she recalls.
A DNA test and a lot of research
The day they begin the search, April 19, 2023, will be marked as the beginning of the rest of her life.
On her Romanian papers and her adoption papers, it is indicated that Roxana Pamela's biological mother is Maria Iordache, born in Targoviste, a small town about two hours from Bucharest.
After contacting a hundred Maria Iordaches on Facebook who could correspond to the image she had of her mother – a blonde woman with blue eyes like her – she decided to publish a text on a Facebook group of the municipality of Targoviste.
She then came across a page for adoptees looking for their biological family in Romania, The Never Forgotten Romanian Children , where she discovered hundreds of people in the same situation as her.
Eager to know more about her origins, she took DNA tests on a digital platform to find biological relatives who might have also taken a test.
On May 6, 2023, a Romanian named Aurelian Mihai contacted her following her post in the group. He told her that he knew a girl with the same name, date of birth, and apparently the same mother.
"He told me he wanted to talk to me on the phone because he thought there was a story about an international mix-up ," she says.
This is how Roxana Pamela Harrison begins to understand that she may have been living with someone else's identity for more than 30 years.
Montreal, May 6, 2023
After learning that her papers may not be hers, the thirty-year-old decides that, in order to shed light on her adoption, she absolutely must find her biological family.
"I had a hard time understanding [my situation], I thought rather that someone was stealing my identity. For me, my papers have always been the real ones," sighs Roxana Pamela Harrison.
For Aurelian Mihai, who became the key to the enigma of this story, it was impossible to leave Roxana Pamela without an answer.
"I knew it had something to do with my ex-girlfriend"
"She was unable to get her Romanian identity cards because the government told her that she had been adopted in Canada, when in fact she was [in Romania]," recalls the young man, with whom Le Journal spoke.
He then became a messenger for several weeks between the Quebecer and the family of the “other” Roxana Pamela.
The mother of the lawyer who sold Roxana Pamela Harrison holds her in her arms, in Targoviste, Romania, in July 1991. Courtesy Roxana Pamela Harrison
What she learned next shocked her. Roxana Pamela's mother, Maria Iordache, had actually wanted to sell her own daughter, but had changed her mind at the last moment.
"Since the papers were already ready under that name (Roxana Pamela), they took another child," explains Mr. Mihai.
Through the latter, Ms. Iordache then recommends that the Quebecer stop looking for her real mother, who unfortunately died a long time ago. Her biological father, however, no one has seen him for years.
Roxana Pamela Harrison when she was just a few months old, in Romania, just before being adopted by Quebecers. Photo provided by Roxana Pamela Harrison
It was impossible for the young woman to follow Mrs. Iordache's "advice" with all she knew.
"I need to know the truth," she says, determined.
Discovery of his family
Meanwhile, the Quebecer receives the results of her DNA tests which reveal that she could be from northern India, where the Roma community originates.
"When I saw that I was more than a third North Indian, I actually laughed. How could that be possible when I am blonde and blue-eyed!" she laughs.
She was convinced there had been a mistake.
“When I saw that I was more than a third from North India, I actually laughed.”
But above all, these results allow her to discover that members of her distant family also have their DNA in the database. This is how she finds for the first time one of her cousins, Oana Bodgan.
A story of eyebrows
Right away, Roxana Pamela and her friend, Marie-Ève, looked for her on all social networks and were able to find other members of her family.
"We came across a man who had exactly the same eyebrows as me. I knew right away that we had a connection."
"We started making family trees by connecting people on Facebook. And then we came across a man who had exactly the same eyebrows as me. I knew right away that we were related," recalls the young woman who spent hours comparing photos of eyebrows.
Vasile Gheorghe Facebook
It was when she saw this photo on social media that Roxana Pamela Harrison realized that she had the same eyebrows as this man, Vasile Gheorghe, who lives in Romania. For her, there was no doubt that they were related, but she could not imagine that she had, in fact, found her biological father.
So she decides to write to the man with whom she shares "bushy eyebrows."
Thanks to the site The Never Forgotten Romanian Children , she also learned that an aunt had recognized her photo published on their page a few days earlier.
Roxana Pamela first tried to find information about her family by posting an ad on The Never Forgotten Romanian Children's Facebook page, a decision that paid off when a man contacted her to give her information.
Screenshot The Never Forgotten Romanian Children
The same day, she virtually meets Sanda Câlin, her biological mother's older sister.
"It was very, very emotional, especially for her. For my part, I still had trouble realizing what I was going through," confides the woman who speaks perfect English, the language in which she communicates with her newfound family.
It is then that she discovers that her real name is... Adriana Câlin.
"It was very, very emotional [...] I still had trouble realizing what I was experiencing"
The next day, she meets, virtually too, her half-brother, Denis Câlin, as well as several of her biological cousins.
Denis Câlin Photo Clara Loiseau
"It was very strange, because all these people had always known about me, while I was discovering them," she says.
Then, a few weeks later, Roxana Pamela speaks for the first time with her biological father, Vasile Gheorge, who has just been released from prison.
“It was like all the stars aligned,” she recalls.
The 63-year-old man does not hide the truth from her, explaining that it was sold, with the help of the Iordache family.
The lawyer (right) who sold Roxana Pamela under another identity, with his wife (woman right) holding Roxana Pamela and the mother of the lawyer's wife holding another baby in July 1991 in Bucharest, Romania. Photo courtesy of Roxana Pamela Harrison
"He told me that I had been sold for US$1,000 (8,000 Lei). When I found out, I immediately decided that I could not keep the name Roxana Pamela, which my adoptive parents had kept as a "tribute" to my family," she explains.
Quickly, the little girl from Châteauguay decided to leave for Romania to meet her biological family, reclaim her true identity and give a complete stranger her real name.
It was on January 11, 2024, that Roxana Pamela Harrison finally boarded a plane bound for Bucharest. The Journal accompanied her throughout her journey, as she returned to this Eastern European country for the first time since her adoption in 1991.
The Palatul Parlamentului, the Romanian parliament building, built by dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, is the second largest building in the world, after the Pentagon. It is also the symbol of the dictator's megalomania, killed on December 25, 1989 during the revolution. Photo Clara Loiseau
BUCHAREST, January 11, 2024
Ten months after the start of her quest, the Quebecer sets foot in her native country to meet her Romanian biological family who have been looking for her for over 30 years.
She marvels at the Romanian passengers traveling with her on the plane and compares their features with hers.
"It's the first time I look like people," she said.
"I can't wait to see my aunt Sanda, my brother, my cousins. My biological father, that's what I'm most afraid of," says the 33-year-old, feverishly, after settling into the plane.
Roxana's arrival at the airport Video JE
Upon arrival in Bucharest, Roxana Pamela was picked up at the airport by her cousin Roxana and her niece Theodora. The reunion was much more emotional than expected for Roxana as the two women embraced each other for a long time.
Upon her arrival in Bucharest, it was her cousin, Roxana, and her niece, Theodora, who came to pick up Roxana Pamela at the airport. The reunion was much more emotional than expected for Roxana as the two women hugged each other for a long time. Photo Clara Loiseau
After months of virtual conversations and calls, the reunion is particularly emotional, especially with her aunt Sanda Câlin. Even though the two women do not speak the same language and need someone to translate for them, the love that binds them is palpable.
Roxana Pamela with her aunt, Sanda Câlin, who searched for nearly 30 years for her niece, whom she considered her daughter. Photo Clara Loiseau
"I suffered a lot, [her adoption] marked me for life. I never stopped looking for her all my life," says the 57-year-old woman without taking her eyes off the woman she considers her daughter.
With tears in her eyes after hugging her, Sanda Câlin confides that she now feels complete.
"At least now we are together, I will find peace again," she confides, shaking the hand of Roxana Pamela who smiles at her.
Full of emotion
This is because Roxana Pamela Harrison, whose real name is actually Adriana Câlin, had been placed in his care when she was only a few weeks old.
"My mother couldn't take care of me, so Sanda took me in as if I were her daughter," the young woman explains.
Mariana Câlin stands with her second child and Roxana Pamela's half-brother, Denis Câlin, who is now 29. Photo courtesy of Roxana Pamela Harrison
It was with this photo that Roxana Pamela Harrison first discovered what her biological mother, Mariana Câlin, looked like.
But while thousands of people were turning to Romania in the hope of adopting children, Roxana Pamela's biological parents, Vasile Gheorghe and Mariana Câlin, decided to trade their young child to escape poverty and offer her a better future outside the country that was still recovering from the 1989 revolution.
This is because Vasile and Mariana Câlin lived, like most Roma, in difficult conditions in the heart of a Bucharest ghetto. Their roof was only a sort of makeshift hut without access to water or electricity. Vasile Gheorghe then convinced the mother of his baby to whom he promised, with the Iordache family who took care of the transaction, news of the little girl as well as photos to see her grow up.
The three small houses, without access to water, electricity or heating, where Roxana Pamela Harrison's family lived in the 1990s. The little house in the back (with the white wall) is where Roxana Pamela lived her first weeks before being taken in by her aunt, Sanda Câlin. Photo courtesy of Oana Bogdan
The couple sold Adriana to be adopted by foreigners. Sanda, the aunt, never got over it and made it her mission to find the child, who she thought was in Italy. She even went on local television to appeal for help. Adriana's mother, Mariana Câlin, died in 2005 of lung cancer.
Roxana Pamela with her half-brother and her aunt, Sanda Câlin Photo Clara Loiseau
"I didn't have her real name, so I couldn't find her, locate her," Câlin said.
She didn't know that Adriana had been adopted under the name of the little girl next door, Roxana Pamela Iordache.
The whole family was involved in trying to find the child at the time and for several years afterwards.
"I don't know how many young women Sanda introduced me to, thinking she had found her. But every time, she was disappointed when she saw that it wasn't Adriana."
– Denis Câlin, Roxana Pamela’s half-brother, who has been looking for her for almost 20 years
Photo Clara Loiseau
For him, who always knew she existed somewhere, the reunion was a relief.
"It's like I've known her forever, it's natural. It's like she just went on vacation to Canada and she's coming back home," says the visibly moved 29-year-old.
Discovering a father
After several days discovering Bucharest and many members of her maternal family, Roxana Pamela met her biological father, Vasile Gheorghe.
"[When she contacted me], I was excited, because I didn't think she was alive," the 63-year-old told the Journal , explaining that he had heard that many children adopted in the same years were sold for their organs.
Roxana Pamela Harrison met with her daughter Kaylee, her biological father Vasile Gheroghe Photo Clara Loiseau
"I regret it. I would have liked her to grow up with me, but the situation was such that it was not possible."
– Vasile Gheorge, biological father of Roxana Pamela
Photo Clara Loiseau
Although she still has trouble understanding how anyone could consider selling their own flesh, Roxana Pamela understands that the context of the time could push people to do incomprehensible things to survive.
Roxana and her half-brother Denis are looking for the place where their mother's remains were buried, in the part of the cemetery reserved for members of the Roma community, who have no money. Roxana and Denis were particularly emotional, as the grave remained nowhere to be found in this completely unkempt area where bones were even sticking out of the ground. Photo Clara Loiseau
"I've made peace with that side of my story. It's not the prettiest truth, but it's mine," she explains.
"All I want is for the real Roxana Pamela to find her identity again, and for me to find mine," she confided to the Journal .
Roxana decided to go to the offices of the National Authority for the Protection of Children's Rights and Adoption (ANPDCA) in Bucharest on January 16.
Roxana Pamela Harrison Photo Clara Loiseau
Bucharest, January 16, 2024
What Roxana Pamela Harrison discovered about her adoption when she set foot in Romania to reclaim her true identity left her in two: Her adoption had been annulled eight years earlier.
The 33-year-old has been hoping to find her real name, Adriana Câlin, and her real date of birth ever since she learned she had been adopted under the wrong identity.
For confidentiality reasons, Le Journal was unable to accompany her to her meeting. But after about twenty minutes in the government offices, she finally learned that she would not be able to access her file.
"They explained to me that Roxana Pamela Iordache had the adoption annulled in 2016 by proving that she had never been adopted in Canada," the young woman said angrily as she left the government premises.
"The papers were sent to the Quebec government and it was recognized in Quebec."
"How come I don't know?"
More identity
In the eyes of the Romanian government, there is only one Roxana Pamela and she has lived in Romania her whole life, not in Canada.
"I don't exist here anymore until I find my birth certificate," the young woman says anxiously.
To find her identity, she must therefore get her hands on her real birth certificate. So she went to the maternity ward of the Alessandescu-Rusescu hospital where she was born, with her aunt and half-brother.
The Alfred Rusescu maternity hospital in Bucharest, where Roxana Pamela was born under the name Adriana Câlin in 1990. The hospital, which is the only public maternity hospital in Bucharest, Romania, welcomes a large number of families from the Roma community. Photo Clara Loiseau
If he is initially told that the document must have burned in a fire, a 100 euro note given by his aunt to an employee will allow him to discover that the important paper is ultimately... in another department to which a request must be sent to obtain it.
Roxana Pamela in front of the Alfred Rusescu maternity hospital in Bucharest, where she was born Adriana Câlin in 1990. Photo Clara Loiseau
For the Romanian lawyer representing the Quebecer, Emanuela Nan, it is first necessary to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.
"This is not a normal case. It shouldn't happen, but we will eventually establish his identity and everything will be fine."
– Emanuela Nan, Romanian lawyer representing Roxana Pamela
Photo Clara Loiseau
At the time of writing, almost a year after going to Romania, the young woman notes that nothing is moving forward on the administrative side, both on the Quebec side and on the Romanian side.
Roxana Pamela still does not know whether she should celebrate her birthday on December 20, 1990, as her aunt Sanda thinks, or rather on December 17, as her biological father says he remembers, rather than on April 22, 1991, the date written on the birth certificate that is no longer hers.
Bucharest in January 2024 Photo Clara Loiseau
“It’s extremely frustrating because no one seems to know what to do or even want to do anything.”
"The only thing I know is that I no longer want to be called Roxana Pamela, but Adriana, as I should always have been," the young woman says.
In addition to her own investigation, she now hopes to help other adoptees shed light on their own adoption.
"Those who want to know their story should have the right to know the truth, even if it is difficult, and I want to be there to help them," she concludes.