WISH-PARENTS NICOLE AND BABETTE ON ADOPTION STOP: 'WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE STAND'
Nicole (44) and Babette (29) had one more meeting to go with the Child Care and Protection Board before they could possibly receive approval for an adoption. Due to the adoption ban, they are now in uncertainty.
“There is never a guarantee that it will go ahead, but that it will not happen for this reason, we never expected,” said Babette.
The women do not want their last name to be mentioned for privacy reasons.
ADOPTION STOP
After a damning report by the Joustra Committee on intercountry adoption in the Netherlands, Minister Dekker suspended all intercountry adoptions last week. The committee speaks of 'structurally serious abuses ' in the Dutch adoption system. According to the report, the system is 'susceptible to fraud'.
Due to the suspension of intercountry adoption, approximately 450 adoption files of Dutch nationals who wanted to adopt a child from abroad are no longer completed.
WISH-PARENTS
That also applies to Nicole and Babette. They have known for a long time that they want to adopt and started the process two years ago. "In the beginning you have a number of mandatory meetings, which we have all completed."
After that, the intended parents waited six months for the investigation of the Child Care and Protection Board, which was delayed by corona. “Actually, we now had one more meeting to have with the Council before we could read our report and, probably, get approval,” Babette said.
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EVIDENCE
The news came as a big shock to the couple. "We have been working for so long and now have no idea where we stand." They also find it difficult to agree with the decision. “We think it is terrible what happened in the past and the biological parents, adoptive parents and adopted children are certainly entitled to apologies and support. However, the evidence in the report is limited to us regarding the current adoption procedure from countries such as the United States. We also have difficulty with the fact that the process can be stopped so abruptly, but the government allows you to go through the process for two years. ”
Above all, it feels very unfair to Nicole and Babette. “We struggle with unfairness in the world anyway. We just don't understand this decision. A decision is made based on the past. As far as we know, the procedure is very different now. Mediators like A New Way follow a very precise process with the best interests of the child first. ”
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AMERICA
“The choice for adoption in America was very conscious,” Babette says. “The problem is very dear to us. We are a mixed family. I am Dutch and Nicole is from Suriname. We would like to adopt because as a couple of two women with a mixed background we get opportunities in the Netherlands that you don't always get even in a prosperous country like America. We would also like to offer a child those opportunities. ”
They also like to keep in touch with the biological family, which is common in America. “Studies show that there can be consequences if you don't know who your biological parents are . We want to be able to look our child in the eye and tell them that this was the best decision at the time. ”
ALTERNATIVES
Babette and Nicole are not ready to think about alternatives. “Adoption in the Netherlands is not an option anyway because of Nicole's age. We have not yet considered other options because we hope that the government will reverse the adoption ban. Then we - and all other adoptive parents - can complete the procedure. ”
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