She wanted to know where she came from

The young woman from the Allgäu did not know her biological mother before. Now she has visited her in Romania.

Roberta, 23:

I was adopted from an orphanage in Romania. I was two years and three months old then, now I'm 23 and have finished my training as a physiotherapist. My parents told me that the home was very poor. Later they adopted another little boy, who is my brother to me.

I have often intended to search for the woman who gave birth to me and gave me away. Especially during puberty I sometimes felt a little strange, not belonging. And then one day, that was in 2016, I just did it. I wanted to close the issue for myself. I had her name and about her age. When I saw a woman on Facebook, I knew immediately: This is her. We look alike. I thought it was pretty cool that there are still people who look a lot like me. I never had anyone who looked like me.

I skyped with her. She was pretty nervous, I just a little bit. Then we planned my trip to Romania, we had discussed that my parents would come with me. They support me a lot in every way.

My biological mother hugged me as a greeting

The first and only meeting took place in Arad, my birthplace. As a greeting, my biological mother immediately hugged me. It didn't make any sense to me, she had given me away, I didn't want to get into it emotionally. We spoke, with the help of an interpreter. It was pretty bad for her with this situation, she had to explain something, not me. She was very open, but I don't want to say more, everything is fine for me now. I wanted to see where I came from. What would have happened if I had stayed with this family or even in the orphanage, you don't really need to ask that question. I wouldn't have had any chances, that's the way it is, period.

Now I don't mind being given away. Do I know how I would have acted? Here in the Allgäu with a full stomach I would never have to make a decision like that. I'd rather be the child who was given away than the mother who gave away. She was a stranger to me. Still, it was nice to meet her. We now have contact via Facebook Messenger maybe every two months, that's enough for me.

After the visit, I did a voluntary internship at the Pastraveni Center for the Disabled for six months. It used to be one of those terrible Romanian children's homes, today it's a home where disabled people feel safe. I worked with people with severe multiple disabilities, we couldn't communicate with words. And yet it worked. They also noticed immediately when I was having a bad day. All this sharpened my perception.

Romania somehow got close to me

Romania somehow got close to me, I go there every now and then. I made close friends through the internship. And now I can speak the language really well. The people there are often so helpful and open and will initially offer you something to eat and drink. But at some point you realize that most of the people there are fighting without any prospects. You're actually always tired.

Romania has already matured me. I don't get upset about little things anymore, a lot of things aren't that wild after all. We are lucky to live here in Germany. My parents think that I also have something Romanian. I'm never in a hurry. And if they're upset about something, for example because they're stuck in traffic for ages, I stay cool: it's just like that, then I'll find myself in it.

For the training I lived in Ulm on the edge of the Swabian Alb, where I also had my first job. But recently I moved back to the Allgäu. I'm really at home there. I love the mountains and the lakes, I hike and bike quite a bit. I now live very close to my parents and grandparents. And I want Christmas and Easter to be the same as always - the same meetings, in the same place, at the same time. Conclusion: I definitely have a piece of Romania in me and I'm quite happy about it, but actually I'm a typical Allgäu girl - with a few different influences.

Protocol: Beate Blaha

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