"It is not a child on order" but also "child trafficking will continue to exist": divided opinions about adoption pause

"Past abuses should not make adoption from abroad impossible." This is what prospective adoptive parents Marjolein and Kris say after the decision by Minister of Welfare Hilde Crevits (CD&V) to temporarily suspend intercountry adoption. Gitte, herself adopted from Guatemala, disagrees: "Child trafficking will always exist." What should happen next?

Kris and Marjolein are candidate adoptive parents. They are in the final stages of their adoption process. Because Kris himself was adopted from India, the couple chose India as their country of origin.

“We could probably have a baby of our own. But we consciously choose adoption. We believe it is important to welcome a child who has little or no chance of a quality life into our family. We made the specific choice for a child with special needs. Their future is even worse in their country of origin. We can provide minor medical procedures that are very expensive in India in Belgium.”

Many more rules

“A lot of things have changed for the better in the last 30 or 40 years. I am a living example of that,” says Kris. “Two years after my adoptive parents started their procedure, they had me. I was a perfectly healthy 8 month old baby. That situation could never arise again.”

“We first look at the child's own environment and family, and then look for a solution in the country of origin. Only then will a solution be sought in the case of intercountry adoption. That is the so-called subsidiarity principle from the  Hague Adoption Convention ."

We look at who could be good parents for the child, and not the other way around.Candidate adoptive parents Marjolein and Kris

"We were also screened very thoroughly. There was a social investigation, the police came by, we spoke to our friends and asked whether we would be good parents, ..."
 

“We feel very good about the adoption procedure,” say Marjolein and Kris. “We have the feeling that the best interests of the child are being considered very strongly. We look at who could be good parents for the child, and not the other way around. It is not a child on order.”

“I'm here now and I'm going to make the best of it”

“I go to India every two years,” says Kris. “I also do volunteer work there in the home where I come from.” Kris tried to gather more information about his origins through the home's adoption service. “They did their best to search, but there was just nothing. They only had a first name. Calcutta is a city of millions, and there is no civil registry where you can go for information.”

Kris has made peace with the situation. “I have put the past to rest. I'll never find my origins anyway. You can make it your life's work to find your lineage. Or you can say: I'm here and I'm going to make the best of it. But of course, every adoptee has to decide that for themselves.”

"Past abuses should not jeopardize the future"

“We do not believe that the abuses of the past should jeopardize the future of intercountry adoption. Without wanting to detract from the sadness and emotions of adoptees where there were errors in their file,” say Marjolein and Kris.

“There will always be a risk of errors. But we do not believe that this should be the reason to deny a bright future to all children for whom no solution is found in the country of origin.” The couple believes that the government should use the adoption pause to develop a central control system. “It is especially important that a sound and transparent procedure is developed that can guarantee that adoption files in countries of origin are not tampered with. We have every confidence in that.”
 

There will always be a risk of errors. But we do not believe that this should be the reason to deny a bright future to all children for whom no solution is found.

Candidate adoptive parents Marjolein and Kris

The adoption pause should not last too long either. “The adoption procedure has been taking such an extremely long time. It is important that intercountry adoption is done properly in the future. But there must be perspective for prospective adoptive parents.”
 

Flemish Minister of Welfare Hilde Crevits announced an adoption pause last week. The pause comes after the discovery of fraud in some recent adoption files. The unification of the various adoption services is also very difficult. Crevits therefore decided to temporarily not recognize any services.

Fraud on file

Gitte has also been adopted. But she has a completely different opinion. Gitte's file involves fraud. She has been looking for her biological mother for years, but in vain. “The person who was my mother on paper turned out not to be my real biological mother after a DNA test.”

Gitte would like to find her biological mother, but she does not have much hope. “It stops for me. I have no clue. My documents are fake.” And also: “I am almost 40 years old. Life expectancy in Guatemala is not as high as in Europe. So time is ticking.”

Psychological distress

“The month of December is difficult,” says Gitte. “And there are still moments. On my birthday, for example. Then I think, okay, we're all sitting here clinking and eating snacks, but who says today is actually my birthday?”

Even in her youth, adoption brought with it many questions and uncertainties for Gitte. And they continue to play later on. “Many questions are so common to others but unknown to me: Who am I? Who do I look like? Do I still have family? Do they sometimes think of me? Did they like me? These are questions that will always remain unanswered for me."

"I had a good upbringing. I was able to study. I have everything I need. But that is not the essence. Non-adoptees always say 'look, you are happy', but that is not the point. Several questions and uncertainties will always play a role."

After Gitte discovered that she was not the daughter her 'biological mother' once gave away, she decided to change her name. “I'm not that person, so why do I have to keep going around with that name? If my 'biological mother' ever finds her daughter, she can bear that name.”

"Child trafficking will continue"

Gitte does not believe that watertight adoption files can ever become a reality. She would rather see the system of intercountry adoption disappear forever. “Child trafficking will always exist.”

“Not everyone has a false file. But birth mothers are often told something. 'It's a bit difficult for you to take care of your daughter or son right now. We will take him or her to the orphanage. This way you can catch your breath.' And then that child disappears. Or in hospitals is also a very frequent story. And that will continue to exist.” 

Invest 1 million elsewhere?

The adoption services receive an annual operating budget of more than one million euros. Voices are raised to invest that money elsewhere. For example, in local child care in the countries of origin.

“We readily admit that 1 million euros is a lot of money,” say Kris and Marjolein. “But Flanders also invests millions in education or healthcare. People who do not have children of their own also pay for this. Adoption is a form of solidarity.”
 

As an adoptee, you have not chosen adoption. We were thrown in there. And now move on.Gitte, herself adopted from Guatemala

Gitte believes that part of that amount should certainly be invested in aftercare for adoptees. “The search for your biological mother, the roots journey, the DNA tests, the costs of the psychologist, ... That adds up. But those costs are necessary to process trauma and know who you are. As an adoptee, you have not chosen adoption. We were thrown in there. And now move on.”