Who is* Jillian Suh Kurovski-Legris?

Adoption is a very personal journey that influences numerous lives. 

In addition to juggling the complexities of her adoption narrative, Jillian Suh Kurovski-Legris, a first-year PhD student specializing in Ecology, Evolution and Behavior, is a college adoptee facing the trials of young adulthood. Her story challenges the oversimplified narratives surrounding adoption and provides a window into the varied experiences of adoptees.

“Every adoption begins with loss,” Kurovski-Legris said. 

The process of understanding her adopted status and getting back in touch with her birth family is a very complicated and intimate journey for Kurovski-Legris. But Kurovski-Legris, like many adoptees, has had to deal with the difficulty of having people who might not completely understand the nuances of her experience, simplify her adoption story into simplistic tales. 

Kurovski-Legris encountered some difficulties adjusting to Korea when she visited, such as linguistic and cultural hurdles. She was adamant about finding her birth family in spite of these obstacles. 

Kurovski-Legris said she was able to make contact with her biological parents, stepfather and stepbrother again with the help from the Holt International adoption offices and the kind support of her birth mother. 

Kurovski-Legris described the reunion as sentimental and warm with laughter, shared meals and the exchanging of thoughtful gifts. Her newfound family eventually discovered a means of communication — even with their early reliance on interpreters — which helped them to overcome the years of distance.

Although the reunion was happy and connected, Kurovski-Legris said her life became more complicated. Their newfound bond gained depth and richness as her birth mother revealed the details of her biological father's death and her feelings of sorrow about giving up her daughter.

Kurovski-Legris continued to experience more difficulties with her biological parents back home in the U.S., especially in relation to her marriage with her Canadian spouse. Her biological parents initially disapproved but later accepted the union, showing how their relationship continued to develop and flourish.

One of the struggles Kurovski-Legris said was the prevailing "Hallmark story" of adoption she has become associated with — a narrative that often emphasizes themes of rescue, gratitude and a perfect ending. While these elements may be present in some adoptive experiences, they do not capture the full spectrum of emotions, challenges and complexities that come with being adopted.

“There are positives and negatives with every relationship,” Kurovski-Legris said.

For Kurovski-Legris, sharing her adoption is anything but a clean little tale. It's a complex journey that is full of growth, happiness, sorrow and discovery. When her tale started to be reduced to a Hallmark-style narrative, she felt that others failed to see the subtleties and complexity that made her experience special.

Kurovski-Legris advocates for a strong emphasis on the value of real representation and the requirement that adoptees have control over their own stories.

To Kurovski-Legris, it's critical to acknowledge that every adoptee's experience is distinct and influenced by a wide range of elements, including personal history, family dynamics, culture and identity. 

Kurovski-Legris has had to work at busting myths and prejudices regarding adoption. 

“Some people have strong opinions about what an adoptive parent should go through, frequently based on antiquated or oversimplified notions,” Kurovski-Legris said. 

These assumptions are refuted by Kurovski-Legris’ story, which emphasizes the complexity and emotional depth of the adoption experience.

Kurovski-Legris’ advocacy goes beyond just telling her personal story; she also inspires other adoptees to come forward and be honest about their experiences.

“I felt that I needed to tell my story, because it was something that I felt that I needed to,” Kurovski-Legris said. 

Through elevating adoptee voices and advancing varied narratives, Kurovski-Legris aims to contest the prevailing narratives surrounding adoption and cultivate enhanced comprehension and compassion.

Kurovski-Legris talks about how crucial it is to pay attention to adoptees and respect the nuanced details of their narratives. By remembering to approach adoption stories with openness, empathy and a readiness to learn, whether individuals are adoptees, adoptive parents or allies. 

“I could not have made as much change with being who I am,” Kurovski-Legris said.

By telling her narrative, Kurovski-Legris illuminates the wider perspectives of adoptees while also honoring her own journey. Anyone exploring the challenges of identity, family and belonging can find hope in her bravery, authenticity and tenacity.