Dutch-adopted man revisits China family, tells adoptive father ‘You’ll always be my dad’

Birth father searched for him and his mother for two years in vain, living in sorrow and ill health until his death in 2009

Eight months after the poignant reunion of a PhD graduate with his long-lost Chinese birth family – following his adoption to the Netherlands three decades ago – he brought his Dutch father to China to visit his birth mother, envisioning a future filled with love and care from both families.

In early October, Gouming Martens, originally named Gao Yang, revisited his birth mother Wen Xurong’s home in Miyi county in southwestern China’s Sichuan province, accompanied by his adoptive father, Jozef Martens.

They received a warm welcome from Wen and her husband, whom she married in 2010 and with whom she has a teenage daughter.

Wen’s husband prepared local dishes for their guests, while Wen served food to her son and his adoptive father, a traditional gesture of hospitality in Chinese culture.

Recalling the heart-wrenching story of losing Gao in 1994 during an interview with media outlet ifeng.com, Wen tearfully stated: “My destiny was beyond my control.”

Wen, Gao Yang, and his father Gao Xianjun had travelled from eastern China’s Jiangsu province to Sichuan to visit her ailing mother. During the process of buying train tickets, she lost sight of her husband and son.

She shared that she searched for them at the railway station for three days before being sent to her hometown by railway staff.

Being illiterate, she felt unable to travel long distances alone and feared her husband’s “bad temper”, so she waited for him and her son to find her in her hometown.

Unbeknown to her, Gao senior had also lost their son at the railway station.

While searching for Wen, Gao senior was startled by a group of hooligans, which caused him to lose track of Gao Yang.

Gao Yang’s uncle later informed him that his father had searched for them at the Chengdu railway station for two years until he ran out of money. He then walked for six months to return home to Jiangsu, spending the rest of his life in sorrow and ill health before passing away in 2009.

Gao Yang was adopted by the Dutch couple Jozef and Maria Martens from an orphanage in 1996.

At 33, Gao recalled a happy childhood before the age of three and resolved to search for his roots at the age of 13.

Since then, he has visited China multiple times and relearned the Chinese language he had forgotten.

Throughout his years studying linguistics at Leiden University in the Netherlands and later at McGill University in Canada as a PhD candidate, Gao maintained contact with Baobeihuijia, a Chinese volunteer organisation dedicated to helping individuals find lost family members.

After a 12-year search for his birth parents, volunteers informed Gao and Wen last November that their DNA matched.

Tragically, Gao’s adoptive mother, who had supported his search, passed away from illness before receiving this joyful news.

Wen, who had suffered from schizophrenia following the loss of her husband and son, appeared much more aware during this revisit than at their first meeting in February.

Her husband noted that her mood and health had significantly improved since their reunion.

Gao spoke to his mother in fluent Mandarin, encouraging her to “forget the past and look forward.” He held her hand closely, expressing: “I feel warm.”

His adoptive father expressed happiness over the reunion but emphasised: “Our relationship will never change. You will always be my son.”

Gao affirmed that his adoptive father “will always be his father”.

Having worked in Canada as an AI speech recognition expert, he is now seeking a job in Europe to be closer to and care for his father, who is now 72.

In a Douyin video posted by a volunteer based in the Netherlands, his adoptive father mentioned considering spending winters in Sichuan, where the climate is more pleasant.

Gao stated he plans to return to China at least once a year to visit his family in Sichuan and Jiangsu.

He has also become a Baobeihuijia volunteer, assisting other Dutch individuals of Chinese descent in their search for roots.

“He was unfortunate to have lost his birth parents but incredibly fortunate to have two families now. His birth mother, stepfather, and adoptive father all seem to be very kind people,” commented one YouTube user.

“He became a well-educated young man thanks to his adoptive parents. I hope he can bring care and happiness to both his adoptive father and birth mother in the future,” another user remarked on Douyin.