First Frisian single for 'adopted' Shalina: about the search for her biological mother in Bangladesh and proud of being Frisian

Shalina Gomes is still looking for her biological mother in Bangladesh, now that the woman from official documents turns out not to be her real mother. She sings it off with her first Frisian single 'Wy kinne it net opnij dwaan'. Photo: Johan Vogelzang

About forty years after Shalina Gomes arrived in Leeuwarden as an adopted child from Bangladesh, she releases her own Frisian single on streaming services such as Spotify and as a video clip on YouTube. She sings it completely in Frisian, because she feels Frisian through and through. She also sings about the fact that she is still looking for her biological mother in Bangladesh, and is being obstructed by authorities.

Someone of foreign descent may indeed be Frisian and feel that way. Johan Derksen's sneer at Habtamu de Hoop last year gave her the strength and inspiration to continue with the Frisian song she wanted to make again. “I like that people from outside the Netherlands are coming from harren and Frisian love girls, I would like to carry the boat.” She is combative. "The melody of the music ignites the passion and draws my personality."

'We can't do it again'

She has been singing for decades in various bands and background vocals throughout the Netherlands, in various genres as well, but had never released her own song. 'Wy kinne it net opnij dwaan', is the title of the song written by Minke Adema, with music by guitarist Rick Meijer. It will be released on May 9, two days before Mother's Day. That is of course no coincidence, because of the adoption story. It can be heard via streaming services such as Spotify and can also be seen via Shalina Gomes' brand new YouTube channel.

The drone footage of her video clip shows her in a bright red dress on the fresh green grass of the Wadden Sea dike at Koehool for a reason, because the flag of Bangladesh is green with a red dot. The gnawing feeling of missing her mother is still there, although she feels Frisian through and through. 

The woman in the official documents is not her real mother

This search for her mother is quite something. The woman who is described as the mother in her official documents, turns out not to be her mother at all after a DNA test. Moreover, even her name Shalina Gomes is not the name she had as a baby in Bangladesh. What her real name is and who her mother is and where she is: it is still a mystery despite a search in her country of birth. "I have three easy flyers with my photo and story on them, with five rolls of duct tape, stuck everywhere in Bangladesh. But it is still not enough to find my mother", she says. 

Living in Friesland and singing in various bands, she has built her own life. Yet the loss remains. That is why she still greets her biological parents every night before going to sleep. "I then walk to the moon, because that is the only place I know that they are on the other side of the world where I walk."

Stolen as a child at a busy market

Her search is very difficult, because nothing from her official documents appears to be true. It became abundantly clear to her during the search that she was stolen as a baby or child, as happened to other children at the time. "One of the group of Dutch Bangladeshi children later learned that she was stolen as a child in a drunken slum, which made her mother look the other way." Child health clinics there also played a dubious role, as did a director of a Dutch aid organization who, in addition to this job, also worked at an adoption agency. Much has been written about it in the Dutch media since 2017, and those articles can still be found online.

Despite this, much is still unclear and the real truth has not yet been uncovered. Gomes has still not found her parents, despite an extensive search in her country of origin. The people of Bangladesh have been very cooperative, it must be said. They were allowed to stick their photos on rickshaws, shops and private homes and an item on social media there has even been shared three million times.

Opposition by authorities

She was opposed by authorities. “Despite that, I do to those who tell lies, that I am followed and intimidated, how I am proud and I am faithful.” Fortunately, the population cooperated with her. 

Thanks to her flyers that were allowed to hang everywhere, dozens of mothers came to a shop in one afternoon where she and a guide were waiting for her biological mother. There were so many that they did not have enough DNA tests and selected a few from the parents to undergo such a test. None of the DNA tests yielded a match and she returned home. "But I just heard you, I'm going to go. It can't be done, I think my parents can't be done anymore", she says. She wants to go there again next year.

Release of the single just before Mother's Day

Her single was recorded in Harlingen in Nico Outhuijse's studio. The video clip was made by Jeroen de Groot and Looai, the editing by Niven de Graaf. The project was supposed to be finished at the end of last year, but because of the summery images she chose to release it at the beginning of summer this year. It could hardly be more appropriate than releasing it just before Mother's Day, because she misses her mother the most.

The song will be released worldwide on streaming services such as Spotify and on her own YouTube channel, which was set up for the occasion. Omrop Fryslân has also shown interest in giving it attention on the release date. "I'm very happy with that", she says. She wants to draw attention to her single for two reasons: that you can also be Frisian of foreign descent and how painful it is when you, as an adopted child, find out that your parents most likely did not let you go voluntarily.

'It is good for Dysels to make some moais fan dyn libben'

She also wants to convey with it, as a positive message: "It doesn't matter how little your start in life is, it's always nice to find something beautiful from it." And who knows, while she is trying to make the best of her life and giving color and shape to her life as a singer on various stages, her song and video clip will come to the eyes and ears of her biological parents in Bangladesh and they will finally come into contact. 

Because that loss, the injustice, the ambiguities, the untruths, her identity that is suddenly swept away, it gnaws at her. Making up for lost time is not possible, that is why the title of her single is 'Wy kinne it net opnij dwaan'. But still, that time that is left, how wonderful it would be to spend it together. Emotional: "I hope that she will be proud of me, that I have made it despite everything that my life has done."