The first parents of Trui's adopted daughter were left in the dark for 14 years: 'Terrible!'

The first parents of Trui's adopted daughter were left in the dark for 14 years: 'Terrible!'

Trui Vandewalle has no regrets, but would not choose international adoption again.

Trui Vandewalle has no regrets, but would not choose international adoption again. — © Fred Debrock

Sweater Vandewalle is the adoptive mother of a daughter from Ethiopia. She did not wait for the Flemish government, but went in search of her daughter's roots herself. 'They made her believe that she was completely alone. That is completely untrue.'

Veerle Beel

'“Mother deceased, father missing, no brothers or sisters.” That's what it said in my daughter's file. She also told how her mother had died, that's how much you can brainwash children. Later she contradicted that and said that her mother wasn't dead at all. I didn't know what to think of it,' says Trui Vandewalle.

The Ghent woman is not single by choice and had a great desire to have children. 'I don't regret it at all, but if I had known what I know now, I certainly wouldn't have opted for international adoption. If the government cannot guarantee that the children have been given up voluntarily, we should definitely stop this. There is no one who can prove that it is done 100 percent correctly in other countries.'

On Thursday, Minister Hilde Crevits (CD&V) announced that the first results of a study into adoptions in Ethiopia have shown that a number of children were not voluntarily given up by their first parents. She calls on all adoptive families and adoptees, including those from other countries, to report to the Flemish Central Authority (VCA) if they have any doubts about their file.

Read also

Several adopted children from Ethiopia appear not to have been given up voluntarily

The cooperation with Ethiopia was already stopped in 2017, because the country wanted to put its own house in order. It has not been resumed since then. Two years later, a 17-year-old adoptee testified together with her adoptive mother in the newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws: they went, successfully, in search of the 'declared dead' first parents in Ethiopia.

Drawing huts

Vandewalle recognized herself in the story: 'My daughter came from the same country, with the same limited information. Moreover, in the beginning she often drew huts, even though she came from a city. As a child she sometimes spoke of 'Abomsa', while her file stated that she came from Nazret. After the newspaper article in question, I listened to the adoptive mother from the newspaper article. One thing led to another and that's how I came into contact with a man who does roots research in Ethiopia.'

'In the meantime, I had also registered with the VCA after their call. They were supposedly working on our files. For two years, there was no progress in the investigation into possible fraud. I continued on my own. The roots researcher in Ethiopia asked for information, but I had little or nothing. I remembered “Abomsa”. Yes, he said, that is a place in Ethiopia. He hung photos of my daughter in public places in both Abomsa and Nasret. Hundreds of people responded and thought she was their child. Finally, he sent us a photo of the presumed mother. I saw it straight away: my daughter looks a lot like her.'

'On April 11, 2022, the day she arrived in Belgium, but twelve years later, we received the results of the DNA test. Positive. The researcher found her entire family: mother, father, four brothers and three sisters, and also a grandfather who is still alive. She was not alone in the world at all! Of course, I was a bit unwell for a while. But I am very happy that I did this. Because it has given my daughter a certain inner peace. All those years I have had a very traumatized child at home, who often did not know what to do with her grief and anger. She has had difficult years at school, while she is very intelligent. At the moment she combines work with studies. She is finding her way ... It is so important to know where you come from.'

"You don't own a child. We have a good relationship, but if she were to say tomorrow that she wants to go back to Ethiopia, I wouldn't put a straw in her way. I am prepared to take a serious step aside in favor of her first parents."

Video call

'We had a video call with them. The mother started crying. “Why is she crying?” my daughter asked. Of course it was emotional.'

'The roots researcher had a long interview with the father. At my request, he recorded it. That way we now know what really happened. Every three years, a big religious festival takes place in Abomsa. A lot of people come to it. A woman there spoke to the father: she could give our daughter a better future in Addis Ababa. She would be allowed to study there.'

'That woman didn't keep her promise. She passed the child on to others. A whole child trade was set up, in which their child ended up. Later, the family received a phone call with the message that their daughter had disappeared. Nobody knew where she had gone. All that time, the family didn't know whether she was dead or alive. For fourteen years they remained in the dark, how terrible that must be!'

This adoptive mother informed the VCA that as far as she was concerned, they did not need to do any further research, because she had found all the answers herself. 'Much faster too.'

Flemish adoption officer Ariane Van den Berghe said on VRT radio on Thursday that it took time to find a confidant in Ethiopia, and that she thinks it is a good idea to also do research in other adoption countries, because 'we know that adoption files are inherently susceptible to fraud'.

The Standard ADOPTION

The first parents of Trui's adopted daughter were left in the dark for 14 years: 'Terrible!'

Trui Vandewalle has no regrets, but would not choose international adoption again.

Trui Vandewalle has no regrets, but would not choose international adoption again. — © Fred Debrock

Sweater Vandewalle is the adoptive mother of a daughter from Ethiopia. She did not wait for the Flemish government, but went in search of her daughter's roots herself. 'They made her believe that she was completely alone. That is completely untrue.'

Veerle Beel

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'“Mother deceased, father missing, no brothers or sisters.” That's what it said in my daughter's file. She also told how her mother had died, that's how much you can brainwash children. Later she contradicted that and said that her mother wasn't dead at all. I didn't know what to think of it,' says Trui Vandewalle.

The Ghent woman is not single by choice and had a great desire to have children. 'I don't regret it at all, but if I had known what I know now, I certainly wouldn't have opted for international adoption. If the government cannot guarantee that the children have been given up voluntarily, we should definitely stop this. There is no one who can prove that it is done 100 percent correctly in other countries.'

On Thursday, Minister Hilde Crevits (CD&V) announced that the first results of a study into adoptions in Ethiopia have shown that a number of children were not voluntarily given up by their first parents. She calls on all adoptive families and adoptees, including those from other countries, to report to the Flemish Central Authority (VCA) if they have any doubts about their file.

Read also

Several adopted children from Ethiopia appear not to have been given up voluntarily

The cooperation with Ethiopia was already stopped in 2017, because the country wanted to put its own house in order. It has not been resumed since then. Two years later, a 17-year-old adoptee testified together with her adoptive mother in the newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws: they went, successfully, in search of the 'declared dead' first parents in Ethiopia.

Drawing huts

Vandewalle recognized herself in the story: 'My daughter came from the same country, with the same limited information. Moreover, in the beginning she often drew huts, even though she came from a city. As a child she sometimes spoke of 'Abomsa', while her file stated that she came from Nazret. After the newspaper article in question, I listened to the adoptive mother from the newspaper article. One thing led to another and that's how I came into contact with a man who does roots research in Ethiopia.'

'In the meantime, I had also registered with the VCA after their call. They were supposedly working on our files. For two years, there was no progress in the investigation into possible fraud. I continued on my own. The roots researcher in Ethiopia asked for information, but I had little or nothing. I remembered “Abomsa”. Yes, he said, that is a place in Ethiopia. He hung photos of my daughter in public places in both Abomsa and Nasret. Hundreds of people responded and thought she was their child. Finally, he sent us a photo of the presumed mother. I saw it straight away: my daughter looks a lot like her.'

'On April 11, 2022, the day she arrived in Belgium, but twelve years later, we received the results of the DNA test. Positive. The researcher found her entire family: mother, father, four brothers and three sisters, and also a grandfather who is still alive. She was not alone in the world at all! Of course, I was a bit unwell for a while. But I am very happy that I did this. Because it has given my daughter a certain inner peace. All those years I have had a very traumatized child at home, who often did not know what to do with her grief and anger. She has had difficult years at school, while she is very intelligent. At the moment she combines work with studies. She is finding her way ... It is so important to know where you come from.'

"You don't own a child. We have a good relationship, but if she were to say tomorrow that she wants to go back to Ethiopia, I wouldn't put a straw in her way. I am prepared to take a serious step aside in favor of her first parents."

Video call

'We had a video call with them. The mother started crying. “Why is she crying?” my daughter asked. Of course it was emotional.'

'The roots researcher had a long interview with the father. At my request, he recorded it. That way we now know what really happened. Every three years, a big religious festival takes place in Abomsa. A lot of people come to it. A woman there spoke to the father: she could give our daughter a better future in Addis Ababa. She would be allowed to study there.'

'That woman didn't keep her promise. She passed the child on to others. A whole child trade was set up, in which their child ended up. Later, the family received a phone call with the message that their daughter had disappeared. Nobody knew where she had gone. All that time, the family didn't know whether she was dead or alive. For fourteen years they remained in the dark, how terrible that must be!'

This adoptive mother informed the VCA that as far as she was concerned, they did not need to do any further research, because she had found all the answers herself. 'Much faster too.'

Flemish adoption officer Ariane Van den Berghe said on VRT radio on Thursday that it took time to find a confidant in Ethiopia, and that she thinks it is a good idea to also do research in other adoption countries, because 'we know that adoption files are inherently susceptible to fraud'.