NEW YORK, NY – The smell of defecation was always present in the Vietnamese orphanage.  A worker would come by occasionally to clean-up  by splashing water across the floor. The orphans were let out of their cages twice a day to get fed.   The children would sit on a bench to wait for their turn to get their daily portion of food.  If a child wasn’t quick enough eating their first bite, they would not receive a second helping. 

These were the conditions that My-lan, a 28-month-old orphan, was living in during the Vietnam War. 

In 1974, after the adoption agencies had came to Vietnam and took over international adoptions, My-lan was adopted by Miriam Vieni and her husband.  According to Vieni, My-lan had “many, many emotional issues.”
 
Adoptions have come a long way since My-lan was adopted: orphanages have better care and agencies have stepped in to help orchestrate the adoption process.  However, even with the advancements in adoption resources, the families and orphans still have difficulties adjusting to their new lives.  International adoptions are especially difficult because families do not have the same access to the child’s background that is available in domestic adoption.

In the United States, agencies take into account the child’s wishes.

According to Deanne Busch, Albany program director at Family Focus Adoption Services, domestic adoptions have a rigorous application process that is specifically designed to allow the children to express their feelings towards a possible “forever” family.  But when it comes to international adoptions, agencies have to rely on the information that they receive from the foreign government and orphanages. 

Parents want to have “forever children” but when unrevealed problems are mixed with unprepared parents the results are disastrous; much like the recent news story on the Russian orphan who was returned because of unexpected behavioral issues, the parent’s inability to handle the situation and the parent’s expectations of the situation. 

Some agencies, like Family Focus, seek to inform possible parents of the risk of making a “forever commitment” before the adoption.  However, many governments and agencies do only the minimum to prepare families for the difficulties of the adjustment after adoption.

Agencies and families are required to complete a post-placement process.  This post-placement process may be a worker who visits the home or it may simply be a written report from the families.  The post-placement requirements vary widely from country to country with at best a time period of couple of years to at worst a few months.

So after a short period of help to parents and children, families are left on their own to deal with any unexpected issues that may arise. Furthermore, adoption agencies are viewed as evaluators and facilitators in the process of placing the child, not as helper.

Katie Smith, director of post adoption support and education at Bethany Christian Services, said families typically see the adoption agency as an evaluator through the home study process.  Later on it is difficult for families make a shift and view agencies as a partner for helping create a successful adoption.

Smith believes that prior to the last 5-10 years many agencies have not offered the long-term support because the need was not recognized.

When Vieni adopted My-lan, she knew other parents who had adopted, but she tended to rely on her intuition and training as a social worker to deal with struggles she faced.  Vieni believes many parents are too embarrassed to ask for help.


Agencies like Family Focus, offers a new form of parent support called “post-adoption” and tries to prepare the families for the unforeseen challenges by stressing that this is a “forever” commitment.  Families are not required to have this service and there is very little financial support for those who wish to get extra help.

Jack and Patricia Roberts, parents of 13 children, 7 adopted, sought to provide a home for slightly older children with mild disabilities.  The Roberts found a good support group from their church and home school groups.

“I’m sure they [adoption agencies] had support groups, which were more like discussions where parents could get together.  But really what was most helpful to us was the church community; being part of a church that was very supportive of adoption,” said Patricia.

According to Vieni, older children who are adopted will always have incredible adjustments to make to their new families and environment. 

The need exists for families and communities to become educated about the struggles that may surface in international adoptions.  Adoption agencies are in a prime position to offer their resources and inform families of the help available. 
 

http://www.wjitimesobserver.com/mobile/2010-convergence-course/adoption-agencies-the-shift-from-evaluators-to-partners-in-adoption-1.2269541