DINJA CHANGED HER OPINION ABOUT HER ADOPTION: 'I DON'T KNOW IF WHAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN TOLD IS CORRECT'

Dinja van Lankveld (39) is born in Sri Lanka and adopted by Dutch parents after six weeks, because her young mother cannot take care of her. Dinja was happy with her adoption for a long time, but she slowly changes her mind.

“It's all very vague, I don't really know who to trust,” she says about her contact with the adoption agency.

INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION

LINDA.nl spoke to Dinja in 2016 about a decision by the Council for the Application of Criminal Law and Youth Protection. They advised to prevent international adoption as much as possible and to first find housing for the children in their country of origin. At the time, Dinja understood the discussion, but she was especially happy with her adoption: "I have had many more opportunities than my brother and sisters who did grow up in Sri Lanka."

Now, four years later, she is still happy with these opportunities and the warm nest she ended up in. Yet she is not comfortable. Dinja: “I got love, money and opportunities here, certainly. The Netherlands feels like my home base, but so does Sri Lanka. I think I could also have been very happy in Sri Lanka, then many people would have been spared a lot of grief. I don't have a good connection with my roots, I miss the country. I also believe that it is never in the best interest of a child to take it away from family. ”

ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES

Dinja has become more critical of the international adoption policy, partly because of the episode of Zembla which showed that there was a trade in adopted children in Sri Lanka. “It was just a matter of supply and demand,” she says. “So many cases came to light where paperwork was forged. Women were told that their child had died in birth when it was actually sold to a family nine thousand kilometers away. ”

After the broadcast Dinja is quite upset. Everything she believed in for years is suddenly undermined. Did illegal practices also take place during her adoption? It makes her think again. “It was confusing. I just don't know if what I've always been told is correct. For example, I don't know if I can still trust my Sri Lankan contact person at the adoption agency, the last conversations were shadowy. I don't speak the language either, which doesn't make contact any easier. ”

Zembla 's findings also hit her adoptive parents hard. Dinja: “They adopted me out of love and a good heart, and assumed that the paperwork through such a foundation is correct. This was of course very intense for them.

BIOLOGICAL MOTHER

Dinja met her biological mother during a trip to Sri Lanka in 2015. She no longer dares to say with certainty whether it was really her. “Maybe she was paid to say that I am her child. Before I ever go back to introduce my own daughter, I'd like a DNA test. It must be in black and white. ”

The birth of her daughter Neha has given Dinja a new look at her own story. “I felt how I built a bond with the little one during those nine months, how I developed such intense love even then. I can't imagine giving her up, even if the circumstances were difficult. I now understand the role of a mother better, and I therefore wonder whether my biological mother was really able to part with me voluntarily. ”

Dinja and her daughter Neha (2). Image: private archive Dinja

“The feeling I got when Neha was born was so special. I am 100 percent sure of her that she is my family. That is a feeling that I did not know yet, she is the first of whom I really know for sure. Many people say that they adopted mannerisms from their parents, or certain facial features. I could never do that because I could not trace it back. ”

LAWSUIT

Dilani Butink was also adopted from Sri Lanka. She has filed a lawsuit against the state for her fraudulent adoption. The court ruled in September that this case has now expired and that the state cannot be held liable for it. Butink is now appealing and Dinja has joined this lawsuit.

She explains: “The argument of prescription is difficult here, because many adoptees do not yet look for their history at a young age. This often comes later. In addition, it is a violation of human rights, eh, babies have been trafficked. Adult people then have to live with this and are stuck with their identity. You can't just blame that. ”

FULL CIRCLE

Dinja is now telling her story again because she thinks it is important that this case remains in the spotlight. “I notice that those illegal practices of the past are a bit hidden away, but I find that too easy. Especially because these parties themselves do not understand what that feels like. In addition, more effort should be made to find better options for the child in their home country, with acquaintances or family. ”

Dinja also focuses mainly on her daughter. Neha has a Sri Lankan father, which means that her roots are 100 percent in the Asian country. “That kind of rounds the circle. My dream is to be able to live there for a few months every year. That would be great fun, both for me and for Neha. Its basis is also there. ”

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