"Adoption has a hidden face, it brings complicated situations"

"It is an overwhelming phenomenon to contemplate the same beautiful full moon here, in Addis Ababa, as in Madrid or anywhere in the world!" Alfredo thought upon arriving in the Ethiopian capital and following the established process to adopt a child (a girl , in this case) in the immense African country. Alfredo had to undertake the journey in Paris before, since Ethiopia did not have an embassy in Madrid. He narrates that his first experience with Ethiopian officials was not very spirited: "Correct for the resolution of his efforts, but cold."

Alfredo and his wife, Stella, decided to spend those Christmases of 2005 in their house in the coastal town of Vera with friends, and there they received the news that they had a life to adopt. It is then when Alfredo decides to start writing "The Moon of Addis Abeba" (Letrame Editorial; Almería, 2020) and in which he recounts over almost 400 pages the real journey of an adoption by a Spanish marriage of a happy Ethiopian girl four-year-old, who in adolescence emanates from within a volcanic fury in search of his own identity.

According to LA RAZÓN, “it is not until February 2006 that Asha's face appears before us. It was only a first meeting, because the girl would remain in a House of Transition, where she would learn Spanish and would be prepared for the home that awaited her with open arms. The parents set out for Addis Ababa to pick up their daughter Asha after the court ruling. Memories, as Alfredo confesses, of a very poor country, of some officials at the airport used to "keep the change", of a merciless orphanage.

The first days in Spain, which coincided with the Easter holidays, were a real test of effort for the parents, with a girl who was looking for the breast of her adoptive mother, suffered nocturnal enuresis and attacks of rage . Alfredo, the biological father of a young woman who had become independent from a first marriage, was often struck by serious doubts as to whether he would know how to cope with the new situation of a loving and challenging girl in equal measure.

He says that his little girl was very intelligent, she quickly learned correct Spanish, but she did not stop evoking memories of her biological family that she must have carried deep inside. "For her it must have been a great detachment, a painful uprooting of its deepest roots , of which at that time we were not aware," he admits.

At twelve Asha began to waver. The enormous effort of adaptation and victories in sport (she became champion of the Community of Madrid) yielded to the evidence of abandonment and weakened attachment in the form of anguish before exams, resignation to compete or play sports, changes of humor, problems with her friends and gaps reflected in her own writings. "The Eclipse" began, a new chapter in the unexpected book.

Her parents then clung to everything they could, from their teachers to the school's guidance team and, of course, the support therapies with the psychologist. The problem is that Asha went on her own, committing all kinds of excesses.

Unfortunately for the family, the professional support that the girl had was not adequate and, after the first hospital admission in a unit for adolescents, a new therapeutic scenario opens, which includes attending a day hospital for young people for two lengths years, with intermittent rudeness and rejection of therapy. Fortunately Asha was "a workable child" for her therapists and little by little, with great personal effort and with the unconditional support of her parents, she made progress in her recovery.

In parallel, her parents persevered in the search for the biological family, materialized in a trip to the origins, to the city of Harar, in Ethiopia, where Asha had been born and raised until she was given up for adoption. The search for her family was fruitless, but it helped the young woman reconcile with a part of her identity.

Alfredo and Stella now have a beautiful 19-year-old daughter at home with her whole life ahead of her. As for whether he would repeat the adoption experience, Alfredo is skeptical: "I understand that many people may be attracted to it, but adoption also has a hidden side, like the moon, since it is also a big business."

He also considers that a much stricter and more professional prior preparation would be necessary for future adoptive parents, full of hope, but perhaps oblivious to the reality of many of the children who are going to be theirs, with bond and attachment problems, who can lead to very complicated situations, such as those experienced by Alfredo and Stella with Asha

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