Barbara was linked to the wrong family by 'Spoorloos': "You can't be careless with adoption"

When Barbara Quee discovers that the Colombian family that the TV show Spoorloos found for her is not her biological family, she turns out not to be the only 'mismatch'.

“From a young age I already know that I come from Colombia and that they speak Spanish there. I was twelve when I started Spanish lessons. I didn't want to be tongue-tied if I ever found my Colombian family. When you meet for the first time, don't you want to be able to communicate?

I already knew then that I wanted to look for my biological family one day. I had a nice and stable childhood, but I was always curious about my origins and who I look like. From whom would I get my curls, my looks and my character? Other than my biological mother's name and age, I had no information about her. No picture, nothing at all. Now, 26 years after my first Spanish lesson, I still haven't found my biological mother.

The television program Spoorloos went looking for me in 2005 and came back with the story that they had been in contact with my mother, but that she had to go into hiding because she was in trouble. Drug criminals would have used her identity. If she could prove her innocence, she could go public again and contact me. That didn't happen, of course not, because I now know that this story, and therefore the search via Spoorloos , is not correct.

LOVING HOME

I spent the first months of my life in a Colombian orphanage. My biological mother was 23 when she gave me up shortly after I was born. My Dutch parents adopted me when I was five months old. Unfortunately, my father passed away when I was two and a half years old.

I come from a loving home, where my adoption was always negotiable. Yet sometimes I felt different. I remember when I was about three years old and other children in preschool felt my hair and wanted to touch my skin. My black curls and tinted skin color were something special to them. Then they would say, "You look different from your mother." To which I responded with: 'That's my mother, but I'm not coming out of her belly.' That's how my mom always explained it to me. That explanation was enough for the children, as it was for me. As the years went by, I asked myself more and more: whose belly am I coming from?

In my bedside table was the file with my adoption papers, which I read often, but which taught me nothing. When I was seventeen I wrote a letter to Spoorloos , but the response was that I was too young. Such a search has impact and messes up a lot, which is why they didn't want to start it yet.

HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT

At the time I found that a difficult message, in retrospect I understand it, because I noticed that it does indeed have an impact when I was called when I was 21 that my mother had been found. Two years before I had received a message that they had started looking and now the time had come. I was full of expectations, but also took various scenarios into account. I kept checking whether my mother had already prepared the spare room for my Colombian mother. Maybe she was part of the conspiracy and she already knew more than I did. Unfortunately, the guest bed was left unmade. I checked the validity of my passport at least ten times, in case I had to get on a plane to Colombia right away.

On September 16, 2005, the time had come. What I had seen many times on television finally happened to me. A laptop was opened for me in front of the Spoorloos camera , after which a film was started that left me confused. My mother was not in the picture and her story was told by a Dutch voiceover. Because she had to go into hiding from the police, she had no permanent place of residence.

I immediately thought that was crazy. How can you track down someone who then does not appear in the picture because she cannot be traced? The same applied to my two so-called half-brothers from a different father, but the same mother. I think the first thing I said was, "What a bizarre story." I loved it so much! And yes, it was also a huge disappointment. I consoled myself with the thought that at least my mother now knew where I was. If she was safe, she could contact me. At least I would if I were in her shoes.

RIGHT AT HOME

Time passed and the whole story faded into the background. Until in 2008 I went to Colombia with my mother for a month. A back-to-my-roots journey to the country where I immediately felt at home. Or at home… I was just like the people there, especially that. One day I went for a walk alone and I felt myself blending in with the crowd. Finally people I could relate to, people who were the same height and manner as me. The nonverbal things that somehow felt familiar. We went to the children's home where I lived for the first five months of my life. I secretly hoped that there was a clue to my biological mother, but that was not the case.

Until one morning in the lobby of our hotel I heard a Colombian boy talking to the receptionist, I recognized his Dutch accent. We got talking and he told me that he had found his half-sister through one Edwin Vela. Hey, I knew that name through Spoorloos . That was the Colombian "lawyer" who had helped the editors track down my mother. Of course that sparked something. Especially when that boy turned out to have Edwin's contact details. I decided to make contact, I was there now anyway.

Edwin remembered my search for Spoorloosyet. If I paid four hundred euros, he would see if he could find her and check if the time was right for me to meet her. Between 2008 and 2011 I had occasional contact with Edwin Vela. In total I paid him something like 1800 euros for the search, but it yielded nothing. Every time I asked if he had found my mother yet, he had another excuse: she couldn't be found or suddenly had another whereabouts. Quite by accident. The search ended in 2011, because Edwin was no longer heard from. I thought that was odd, but not suspicious. Colombia is a special country, agreements are worth less there than here. In addition, there were other things that demanded my attention: my job, a second study, I got married and had four children.

INCREDIBLY SPOILED

One day my friend Fiona, who is also adopted from Colombia and helps other adopted Colombians find their families, came to me. "Bar," she said, "I doubt your story." She discovered that in other searches of adopted Colombians too often there was no picture of the mother, or only a very vague one. All these searches were done by Edwin Vela. Another pattern was that the mother had suddenly joined the FARC (Colombian rebel movement, ed.) or that she did not want to meet her child. Isn't that crazy? If you have given up your child and it reports itself, then you want to know how it went for him or her, don't you?

Fiona and I took a closer look at Vela's searches, and I called the boy I'd met in the Colombian hotel lobby. He almost exploded when I mentioned the name Edwin Vela. After a long series of swear words, he said that after a few years of correspondence with his half-sister, he had requested a DNA test. They turned out not to be related. He had met her in Colombia, stood with her at the grave of a woman who later turned out not to be his mother. He felt terribly betrayed.

Whether that so-called half-sister was part of the plot? That could well be. We know stories of people who sent money to their so-called family. Those letters were given with the name of the writer crossed out and replaced by another name, that of that 'relative'. Also from people who were in Spoorloos , because this program has done several searches with Edwin Vela.

We found three stories from Spoorloos and Wereldkinderen (an organization that mediates in international adoptions, ed.) in which the stories turned out to be demonstrably incorrect. We investigated these, we found the real mothers and family and also requested the file from Spoorloos for my search. Unfortunately, the editors did not respond to my request at the time, so I may have missed essential starting points for my own search.

MISMATCHES TRACELESS

Eighteen months ago, program maker Kees van der Spek called. He said he wanted to make a broadcast of Crooks tackled about the mismatches of Spoorloos . I realized it would mean a lot.

In the first place with the people who thought they had found their biological family through Spoorloos and Edwin Vela. It's not nothing that we were going to tell them that their story was wrong. But my sense of justice said it had to. It really hurts that someone handles something as vulnerable as adoption so badly. And why? Because of money, I can't think of any other reason. It also stings me that Spoorless trusted him blindly. Even when DNA testing was possible for a long time, it was not done. Again and again mothers who 'suddenly' disappeared, why didn't the editors draw parallels? So what about the ratings? The idea alone makes me uncomfortable.

After the broadcast of Scammers tackled and my interview with Jinek in October, dozens of people reported to Fiona and me. With vague stories from Colombia, but also from other countries. Spoorloos speaks of sixteen cases in which Vela is involved, but I fear there are many more.

After the cringeworthy interview with Spoorloos presenter Derk Bolt in Khalid & Sophie , in which he became very defensive and doubted the discovery we had made, Fiona and I had a conversation with the editors-in-chief of Spoorloos . It has been promised that the editors will assist all victims in their search. It was also said what I missed so much in that interview with Derk: that it is very bad and that the editors will do their best to get to the bottom of it. In any case, I will continue to work towards that.

CONFRONTING

Fiona and I help adopted Colombians with our foundation Buscas tu familia en Colombia to trace their family. I am very happy when that works out, but it also gives me mixed feelings. Finding a mother for someone else while we haven't yet found our own is sometimes confrontational. Still, I hope that day will come. Also for my children, who are interested in my origins and ask why I was given up. Nevertheless, it is good and important that my story has set so much in motion. Adoption is a very sensitive subject. You shouldn't be so careless with that.”

Foundation Buscas tu familia en Colombia: buscastufamiliaencolombia.com

REACTION TRACELESS

“In October it was announced that Edwin Vela, a local aid from Spoorloos in Colombia, made mistakes in some searches. Spoorloos has therefore called on former participants who have doubts to report. Spoorloos has launched an external investigation into the searches in which this local aid has been involved. We have had a good and constructive conversation with Barbara in the meantime.”

MOTHER FOUND

A few weeks after the interview, Barbara received the message she had been hoping for since the beginning of her search: she found her biological mother and brother. In mid-October, during the conversation with Spoorloos , she handed over DNA material, which the editors sent to the worldwide DNA database My Ancestry, among others. Here her DNA profile was matched to her biological brother. Because he had more information about the birth mother, Barbara and Fiona successfully searched for her birth mother themselves. This is not the woman Edwin Vela suggested.

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