From Russia (or China or Peru or Bucharest) with love
by Geraldine Sherman
(Toronto Life November, 1995)
ALISON PENTLAND-FOLK labours tirelessly in the bizarre, looking-glass world of international adoption, trying to unite babies from foreign countries with Canadians desperate to become parents. The people she sees, mostly couples in their early forties, have endured years of marriage-straining infertility. Many delayed having children until they established their careers, then found it was too late. A generation ago, these couples would have had little trouble adopting in Toronto. Today, the demand for babies far outstrips the local supply. About 22,000 couples, and hundreds of single people, sit on adoption agency waiting lists for an average of six years. More than half the babies and toddlers Canadians adopt, about 2,500 a year, come from outside the country.
Alison's two children, Colin and Madeleine, born in Romania in the early 1990s, became part of her family through complex transactions involving social workers, lawyers, governments on two continents, and substantial sums of money. "We're all survivors," Alison says. "It makes for an incredible family." As a member of SPARK -- Support for Parents Adopting & Raising World Kids -- she regularly invites prospective parents to her west end home for a crash course in how the system works.
She sits on a low stool in her living room, within reach of several boxes of reference material. Surrounding her are six couples. The women settle in, but several men perch on the arms of their chairs, as if ready to bolt. "Be honest," she begins, "how many of you fought with your spouse on the way here?" Everyone giggles. She assures them conflict is normal. There's usually one partner who still dreams of a biological family.