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25 Factors to Consider When Adopting From Bulgaria

25 Factors to Consider When Adopting From Bulgaria

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Current as of May 2009. This information is subject to change; therefore, check with an agency that places from this country for the most current information.

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Blog: No Special Treatment

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2009

No Special Treatment

When we adopted Annalea in 2008, Armenian requirements for adoption stated that the adoptive family have some Armenian heritage on at least one side of the family. This was fair, I thought, considering how few children are available for adoption in this small country.

About a year ago, this rule went by the wayside. The claim is that Hague rules require this to prevent discrimination. Now anyone of any ethnicity can adopt here. I think that is a good change, with one exception. Armenians do not get preference.

I have some questions about this.

Blog: Gelgela Director in Canada

On Saturday we went to a very special adoption gathering! Zeweditu Yashu, the director from the Gelgela Orphanage in Ethiopia came all the way to Canada to see all her babies!! Kumera was from this orphanage! There were about 20 children from her orphanage at this event. It was an incredible experience to meet her and for her to see and hold Kumera again! Kumera would have been only a few weeks old when he was in her orphanage before he went to the CAFAC foster home. We visited the orphanage when we were in Ethiopia, but we didn't get to meet Zeweditu because she wasn't there that day.

She doesn't speak English, so Selemneh was there to translate. Most families adopting from Ethiopia know who Selemneh is. For those who don't, he was the past travel coordinator for CAFAC Adoption Agency. (And he's also the one who appears in the book "There is No Me Without You".)

Zeweditu had a speech and said how happy she was to see all her children happy and healthy and with loving families! It was heartwarming! At the end she presented each child with a beautiful scarf from Ethiopia! Kumera wanted nothing to do with her or the scarf, so I hope he'll be glad to have been a part of this when he's older.

She was going to be travelling to Saskatchewan and Alberta to attend adoption gatherings there as well and to see more of her babies! It must be so exciting for her!

!

Ethiopia and Back

Published by Xavier Pacheco at 23:08 under Adoption | Family

sm_IMG_2223We know this has been a long time coming and we apologize for not posting sooner. We were not able to post while we were in Addis for several reasons, one of which was we just couldn’t get any time to sit in front of a computer long enough to write something out. Also, the internet connection we had was very poor. We hope the following post will give you some glimpse of our trip to Addis but it is all very difficult to put into words.

As always, we have treasured your prayers and encouragement. We are home now and there are four children in our home! This post is mainly about our trip. We’ll post later how the transition is going.

Leaving for Ethiopia

Anne: On November 28th I was already completely spent both emotionally and physically when we boarded a plane in Denver. We had just said goodbye to Zack and Jess and it was extremely difficult! We left them with very good friends and family arrived later. The flight was long and tiring but fortunately we managed to sleep for a good portion of the trip (even right through the stopover in Rome). A blessing on this trip was that we travelled with the director of the orphanage taking care of our children. He is an incredibly gentle man and he and his wife Hannah commit their lives to these children at the Sele Enat orphanage. Abebe had just visited the U.S to visit his children here and to raise money for equipment for a new medical center. We were thrilled to unexpectedly meet with him again in Washington DC.

Arrival in Addis Ababa

Anne: When we finally arrived in Ethiopia we had to get through immigration and customs which took over two hours. We claimed our four large heavy bags at baggage and walked out into the greeting area. We had been told to hang on to our stuff carefully and were pretty unsure about walking out into the sea of people outside the airport. Then, we saw a man with the biggest-sweetest smile holding a sign that read, “Anne Pacheco Ethiopian Guest House.” He led us to our van and lifted our heavy bags over his head onto the van and insisted it was safe for him to do this alone.

Xavier: The driver is Samuel Liben (Sammy), sm_img_2058one of the kindest people we met in Ethiopia and one who has become a good friend and important part of our trip in Addis (more on that in a different post). 

Initial Impressions of Addis Ababa

Anne: By the time we were in the van on our way through Addis Ababa it was after 10pm. We did not expect the poverty we saw that night. I guess I didn’t think we would see it so soon. Abebe rode with us part of the way then we drove for what seemed like a long time. Even at that hour there were adults and children along the street. There was trash, stray dogs and many donkeys. The guest house seemed out of place. Inside a high wall with barbed wire along the top was a welcoming house.

SM_img_9317Xavier: That’s concertina wire, the sort you find used in the military and in prisons. Anyway, after a quick meal with another couple staying at the guest house, we tried to sleep. Unfortunately, dogs could be heard barking throughout the night so between the jet lag and noise, sleep was really difficult. We really wanted to be rested knowing that the next day we’d be meeting Yemi and Abe.

Meeting Yemeserach and Abenezer

Xavier: The following morning we were awakened by roosters and the cryer. The roosters started just after 2:30am and the chanting at the mosque began around 4:30am. We enjoyed breakfast with the other two couples staying at the guest house. Then we waited for the representative from the agency to escort us to the orphanage. When Miten arrived my anxiety level went up several levels and continued increasing as we drove to the orphanage. While driving we got a good look at what most of Addis looks like. We passed store fronts and homes made of cardboard, corrugated metal, left-over lumber and other materials. We saw “street people” sitting and selling whatever they could. It was not uncommon to see people minus limbs and moms with their children begging on the streets. The level of poverty was pretty shocking.

As we continued driving, I was thinking about how we should approach the children when we met them. I knew exactly when we were approaching the orphanage because I had seen its location in pictures. Then I saw the sign, sm_img_1900also seen in pictures. The driver honked for the orphanage guard to open the gate. It was raining so none of the children were playing outside as we had observed in pictures. We were greeted with hugs by some of the workers who were incredibly friendly and loving. By “hugs” I mean all-out embraces and kisses. We were led from the courtyard to a small office. As Anne and I waited a nanny went to get the children. At this point, I cannot begin to describe my feelings and my level of anxiety. Were we going to have to win these two children over somehow? Would the meeting be awkward? Had they been anticipating us as much as we had them?

Anne: On the ride over we asked Mitin, if the children knew we were coming and she affirmed that they did and that they were excited. As we waited, I did not know what to do, should we stand or sit? I felt so out of place, uncomfortable and unprepared. Then X said, “There they are”, with a cracked voice and we saw them through the window holding hands with the nanny approaching us.OurMeeting As they entered the room, they immediately went into our arms. Abenezer went into my arms and Yemeserach onto X’s lap and we received hugs and kisses from them. I held Abe and cried; I couldn’t believe this was real.

Xavier: I was moved by the affection shown towards us. Yemi returned my kiss and took my hand. She examined mysm_img_9474 hand and my ring and then straightened the hair on my arms. After spending some time with them they took our hands and led us outside and to their classroom. We met their teacher,  a beautiful and caring woman and were greeted by about 15-20 children.

Playing and Eating with the Orphans

Xavier: We spent the rest of the morning at the orphanage playing with the children. We took balloons, those long ones you make shapes with. I had spent hours learning from YouTube how to make various animals and other things but the children were thrilled to just have the balloons. They just wanted to make noise by rubbing their hands against them.

Anne: Actually, it was complete chaos. Balloons were popping; scraps of balloons were on the floor with the babies; the children were swarming around Xavier, reaching out for another balloon and he couldn’t keep up. Xavier was trying to make balloon shapes but the kids just wanted long ones that they could hit each other with and make noise.balloonsThe teacher and workers were laughing and doing their best to establish order. Yemi and Abe kept yelling, mom! dad! The hard part was the toddlers calling Xavier daddy in Amharic and trying to get his attention.

Xavier: Yemi snatched the camera and started shooting photos. Anne and I apologized for the disturbance we caused but the workers waved it off and continued to enjoy the event.

Anne: I was doing my best to memorize the faces and names of waiting children and referrals. One of the administrators started blowing balloons for Xavier so that he could play with the kids. Everyone was having a great time.

Soon it was lunch time and we were expected to stay and join them. We were both surprised by the huge plate of food for each child. The four year olds had about 3 cups of rice on their plate with sauce and cabbage. We were served rice with a red meat sauce. There actually wasn’t any meat in it, just a fatty red sauce and Injera.

Xavier: Ethiopians will feed you with their hands as a form of affection. Both Yemi and Abe fed us and though we had no idea where their hands had been, we did not dare decline their show of affection. It was actually quite endearing. They continued to feed us like this during our visit at various times.

staffXavier: We took tons of pictures and talked to the workers for quite a long time. We were so impressed at the love and commitment the orphanage workers had for these children.  At about 1:30 we went back to the guest house to rest. It was a wonderful beginning.

The Week in Brief (by Xavier)

sm_img_1975There is so much that happened during the week that it’s going to take several posts to get through it all. Although the main purpose of our visit to Ethiopia was to get Yemi and Abe, so much more transpired.

We stayed at the Ethiopia Guest House where accommodations were quite nice despite loss of power and the water pump going out several times throughout the week. sm_img_2175There were two other families staying at the house, also there to get their children. It was wonderful getting to know these families and their children and I believe we established some lasting friendships. 

We made two more trips to the Sele Enat orphanage to finish taking pictures and learn about waiting and referred children. On Tuesday, after we visited Sele Enat we hired a driver to take us to Entoto which is the highest place in Addis and the location of the oldestorthOrthodox Church. We went with another couple who were staying at another guest house but were with our agency and whom we’ve gotten to know in training. On Thursday Anne visited the care center with Yemi and Abe. The care center is where babies and toddlers are kept. I went to Korah, a community of Lepers and one of the poorest places in the world (more on this in a later post). That evening, we enjoyed dinner with some friends of ours who are working on a Bible translation project with Wycliffe. After dinner we enjoyed a special moment as we celebrated communion together.sm_img_2148Finally on Friday, I got some last minute shopping done, including 40kilos of Ethiopian coffee which is absolutely the best! Then, later that evening we were treated to a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony hosted by the guest house staff.sm_img_9660

Many of the highlights of this trip will need separate posts. Let me just say in brief that the Ethiopian people are extraordinarily beautiful and some of the kindest people I have ever known. We were particularly taken by their love for children. It was such a contrast to the west where children are often viewed as a nuisance. I was amused by how the guest house guards and staff would play with our children at every opportunity.

Needless to say, we were dismayed at the vivid poverty in Addis. Our decision not to take Zack and Jessie was confirmed by the constant images of disease, hunger and hardship beyond anything we had ever seen. I am certain that Jessica in particular would not have been ready to see many of these images. The worst I had seen was in my visit to Korah, sm_img_2114a village established about 75 years ago for lepers and where the Alert Hospital was built by Dr. Ross. I will be posting more about this experience.

Trip Home

We were anxious to get home to our children in the U.S. I have to say that Anne and I are particularly proud of how well Zack and Jess have dealt with all this. We missed them terribly and it was very frustrating not being able to communicate with them continually. One really gets a sense at how dependant we are on “good” technology. Anyway, Zack and Jess really have been great with all of this. IMG_2216While much focus has been on Yemi and Abe these past months,  Zack and Jess have not responded negatively but rather have joined in our excitement. The union of these children has been wonderful, and while we know there will be many challenges to overcome, we know we will all grow from it.

About Yemi and Abe

They are both beautiful children and we are grateful that overall they are healthy. Yemi, whose name is Yemeserach meaning “good news” is very-sweet. She loves babies and wants to be a helper. A few times she was really observing and copying her mom. sm_img_1925She quickly bonded with me and does not hesitate to express her affection. She will, without hesitation, grab my hand, play with my hair (or lack thereof) and cling to me. Of course I enjoy this greatly. Abe, whose name is Abenezer meaning “God make us wide”, is cute as all get go and is full of energy. He is quite smart (clever) and can capture an audience quite easily. sm_img_1912Abe is a happy boy and is quickly drawn to things mechanical or electronic-like cameras, flashlights and just about anything with buttons as the Ethiopian flight attendants will attest to. Both children are strong and very athletic and have great hand-eye coordination. Abe can do perfect running cart-wheels and Yemi can catch a football while in a running pattern like nothing else.

As it is with adoptions, there are various physical and behavioral issues to deal with and we are discovering them. We remember that these kids were first left without a home and put into an orphanage. They spent time there, made friends, established habits only to be pulled from that to be brought into a totally different environment with people they don’t know. They are thrown into an entirely different culture with people who do strange things, eat different foods and speak a language they don’t understand. Furthermore, we know next to nothing about their history prior to the orphanage. Combine all of this with the fact that Zack and Jessica now have two other siblings in the home who are demanding mom and dad’s attention and are suddenly taking up space in the house. Any notion of personal ownership is thrown out the window (which I consider to be a good thing by the way). The Pacheco home is going to become a home where grace abounds. There will be trials, no doubt and from that will come great things for all of us – God’s grace is so totally sufficient!

Last entry: It’s 5:00 am Monday morning. I heard someone stirring upstairs and found Yemi messing with a loose tooth. She yanked it out and smiled at me. I kissed her and sent her back to bed with a washcloth -- tough kids.

Ces blouses blanches qui s'occupent de bébés abandonnés

Ces blouses blanches qui s'occupent de bébés abandonnés

Photo : un couloir de l'institut Gustave Roussy, à Villejuif

(De Rocourt, Belgique)

Abandonner son enfant à la naissance, le confier à l'adoption. Dans de nombreux cas, c'est au sein des services hospitaliers que ces futures mères viennent trouver refuge. Comment le personnel de l'hôpital gère-t-il moralement de telles situations ? Reportage dans l'une des plus grandes maternités de Belgique : l'hôpital St-Vincent de Rocourt.

Après plus de vingt années au service social de l'hôpital St-Vincent de Rocourt, Marie Daenen connaît bien la question :

« Même si les cas d'abandon sont rares [un ou deux par an pour l'hôpital St-Vincent, ndlr], on tente toujours de déceler la véritable raison qui pousse ces futures mères à s'orienter vers une telle décision, car il s'agit parfois d'un problème financier ou autre que nous pouvons aider à résoudre.

Le tout pour moi est de rester à ma place, de rester dans la neutralité, et je dois dire que je n'ai jamais de difficultés à y rester. Nous sommes formés pour ça. »

 

La formation du personnel encadrant serait un facteur déterminant dans la gestion personnelle de ces cas délicats d'abandon d'enfants. De manière infaillible ? L'assistante sociale précise :

« Je travaille exclusivement autour de la maman, mes collègues infirmières sont plus autour du bébé confié à l'adoption, un peu comme des mères de substitution. C'est vrai qu'il est plus aisé de rester dans un espace de travail neutre quand on est en contact avec la mère et non en contact avec le bébé. »

 

La formation ne suffirait donc pas. Selon Marie Daenen, la confrontation avec le nouveau-né pousserait plus facilement ces femmes, ultra majoritaires dans le milieu professionnel infirmier, à déroger quelque peu à la sacro-sainte distance avec le patient. Aussi jeune soit-il.

Vie privée, vie clinique

Derrière les portes du service des grossesses à hauts risques de l'hôpital, Sophie a du mal à parler de son vécu avec ces mères et ces enfants au destin particulier.

« Je ne sais pas si je peux vous parler de mon expérience moi… Parce que, vous savez, il y a des choses que monsieur tout-le-monde ne peut pas comprendre. Par exemple, que je puisse aimer mon travail alors qu'il arrive que je sois confrontée à quatre bébés morts en une semaine. »

 

Vous savez, je ne suis pas là pour juger ces mères, je fais mon travail, point barre. Mais c'est vrai qu'au début, je ne prenais pas assez de distance et j'ai vite compris que dans ce métier, il faut faire abstraction de son opinion pour survivre. »

 

A la différence des assistantes sociales, il semble que la formation que reçoivent les infirmières pendant leurs études ne soit pas suffisante pour leur permettre de rester au mieux dans un espace neutre face au patient. Seule l'expérience de terrain donnerait à ces femmes les outils nécessaires à la construction d'une distance professionnelle entre elles et le nouveau-né.

Un métier à sensations fortes

« Je ne suis pas un robot. C'est difficile de ne pas juger une mère lorsque l'on procède à l'accouchement, surtout quand on est soi-même maman. Ce sont aussi parfois des accouchements très difficiles émotionnellement pour moi.

Je me souviens de ce cas, il y a une dizaine d'années, où la maman voulait être endormie durant l'accouchement pour ne pas en garder de souvenirs. Quand la tête du bébé est apparue, une autre infirmière et moi avons dû appuyer sur le ventre de la mère pour l'en faire sortir le plus rapidement possible. »

 

A moitié cachée derrière une armoire à pharmacie, Myriam, infirmière au quartier d'accouchement depuis près de dix-huit ans, parle avec lucidité de son métier et des émotions qu'ont provoquées en elle certains actes d'abandon marquants.

« Mais ce qui caractérise pour moi toutes ces femmes, c'est leur courage et non leur lâcheté. Un lien s'est créé entre elles et l'enfant durant neuf mois et elles vont devoir vivre avec ce manque durant tout le reste de leur vie. »

 

Un cocon pour poupons

Placés au centre néo-natal après leur naissance, ces nouveau-nés confiés à l'adoption sont pris en charge par une infirmière de référence qui va les cajoler et réaliser un album photos rempli de commentaires qui sera emporté avec le bébé vers la pouponnière ou vers la famille d'accueil.

Une fois de plus, les infirmières de ce service ne cachent pas leur attachement pour ces bébés abandonnés. C'est le cas de Dorothée, rencontrée au 5e étage du grand bâtiment.

« Quand on a tenu un de ces bébés dans ses bras des heures durant, qu'on l'a promené dans les couloirs, qu'on l'a nourri, c'est dur de le voir partir, mais c'est comme ça. »

 

Sylvie, sa collègue depuis 7 ans, ajoute :

« Il est même déjà arrivé qu'une collègue entame une procédure d'adoption pour un de ces bébés dont on s'était occupé. Nous l'avions en tout cas énormément encouragée. »

 

Humains et généreux, ces hommes et ces femmes s'investissent de corps et d'esprits auprès de ces bébés délaissés. Exténués par leur travail et confrontés à des cas où la morale personnelle est parfois mise à rude épreuve, ces professionnels de la santé peuvent vaciller.

Ce qui leur manque ? Un lieu de parole qui puisse servir d'exutoire. A défaut, c'est encore auprès de leurs collègues qu'ils recherchent une oreille compréhensive.

Saastamoinen (European COM): Hague now included in acquis

We consider it essential to promote largely the accession to the 1993

Hague Convention on inter-country adoption. Already 26 out of 27

EU Members States are parties to the Convention; we would urge the

remaining one to accede also. Furthermore, we have included the !993

Convention to the international framework that is important for the

LISBON TREATY ENTERS INTO FORCE (including CHARTER ON FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS)

Other available languages: FR DE DA ES NL IT SV PT FI EL CS ET HU LT LV MT PL SK SL BG RO

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“Challenges in Adoption Procedures in Europe: ensuring the best interests of the child”

NEWS

The Council of Europe and the European Commission are organising jointly a conference on: “Challenges in Adoption Procedures in Europe: ensuring the best interests of the child”.

This event will be held at the Council of Europe Headquarters, in Strasbourg (Palais de l’Europe – Room 1), from Monday 30 November (09h30) to Tuesday 1 December 2009 (18h00).

The first day of the Conference will be devoted to national adoption and the second day to international adoption. More specifically, the following themes will be dealt with:

- the revised European Convention on the Adoption of Children and the best interests of the child;

Bringing Madison home: Adoption of Vietnamese toddler has been held up 7 months

Bringing Madison home: Adoption of Vietnamese toddler has been held up 7 months

By GENA KITTNER/Wisconsin State Journal

Via Webcam and the Internet, Doris and Bill Brendler sit in their East Side living room chatting and blowing kisses to their newest granddaughter — Madison.

The little girl with a bright smile and wide eyes is named after their daughter Karla's hometown. But she and Madison are nowhere near home.

For more than seven months they've been stuck in Hanoi, Vietnam, after immigration authorities in the United States said they intended to deny Madison's orphan status — making her ineligible for a visa — citing concerns about the safeguards Vietnam uses to ensure children aren't sold for adoption.