It is difficult to believe that the adoption of orphan children anywhere in the world could be controversial. But there are some, including UNICEF, who believe that moving a child from one culture to another, even for the best of reasons, is to be avoided at all costs. In the last two decades this has led to the closing of intercountry adoptions from some of the most disadvantaged countries in the world. The cost of this policy position is born by the children without parents (orphans) who find themselves trapped without options and without hope.
We wholly endorse intercountry adoption as a beautiful act that glorifies God, unites families, and enhances cultures. This endorsement is unqualified, and unreservedly sees intercountry adoption as a wonderful act in itself, not as a second best option, and certainly not the lesser of two evils. WHY? Because we believe that the concept of second best is fatally flawed. The technical term for viewing adoption as a second-best option is known as subsidiarity. In other words, subsidiarity conveys the belief that indigenous solutions to childcare should be preferred over intercountry adoption. This concept does not withstand serious scrutiny for the following reasons:
First, subsidiarity is based on a naive understanding of human nature. Consistent with the very divergence of modern liberal/conservative thinking, this issue is no exception in its reflection of human nature. Advocates of indigenous solutions assume that humans are inherently good, and therefore what humans need is education and resources. This assertion is reflected in statements like, “Rather than take children away from these parents, we should give them the education and financial resources they need to care for their own children.” “Instead of spending $40,000 on adoption, we should give that money to the parents or the family in order to care for the child.” This statement assumes that the problem leading to loss of custody is primarily financial or educational. It assumes that most, if not all, parents are inherently good, but they are the victims of cultural influences that reduce their ability to care for their kids. Yet this view of human nature is unrealistic. When I visited the children of one orphanage we support, I asked the director to tell me how the children came into his care. One child was locked in an abandoned building. Another was found tied up in a garbage bag. Another was thrown in a latrine. Not a single child in that orphanage was relinquished or carefully abandoned. Every one of them was brought to the orphanage after the police found the child abused and profoundly neglected in some way. The vast majority of uneducated and poor parents do not lock their children in buildings or tie them up in plastic bags. But some do. Some of them are bad parents. It should not surprise us that other countries have parents who are so bad they deserve parental rights to be terminated, because the United States has hundreds of thousands of such parents. Almost no one working in the US foster care system believes that all parents are inherently good, and that instead of finding adoptive families we should be investing all that money and time in education and financial support of the biological parents. Sometimes these efforts of reunification work, but often they don’t. Some parents deserve to have their parental rights terminated. Foreign countries have these parents too. So should a child born to poor and abusive parents in Africa or Asia, South America, or Europe be any less entitled to a loving family than a child born to abusive parents here in the US? It would be good if children were born into two parent families who were committed to caring for them – but unfortunately this is not reality. The naivete of inherently good human nature is reinforced by comments like, “Birth mothers are heroes who make a sacrificial choice.” This is often true, but it is not always true. Some mothers are neither heroic nor sacrificial.
Second, subsidiarity mistakes the reasons children become orphans. Critics of intercountry adoption pretend that the primary reason children are available for adoption is poverty. They argue that poverty should never be the only reason a child is adopted, implying that often, or even sometimes, poverty is the sole reason. But in any adoption it is impossible to pinpoint the sole reason for relinquishment. A birthmother may be unwilling to admit the true reasons, or she may be unaware of subconscious reasons. Billions of parents are poor, yet they still do their best to care for their children. So it is too simplistic to assume that poverty is the only reason, even if it is the only stated reason, that a mother abandons her child. Some parents abandon their child because they wanted a boy instead of a girl. Others have such a strong stigma of disability that they cannot or will not care for a disabled child. Children are orphaned by death due to war, natural disaster, or disease or death, leaving no family members to care for them. Some children’s parents are incarcerated. Others have parents who are unable to care for them as a result of drug or alcohol abuse, or mental deficiency. And often parents lose their parental rights due to abuse or neglect. Education and financial resources will not solve these issues. For these children, adoption is the best choice. Not institutionalization, and not foster care, but adoption (whether inter-county or domestic).
Third, subsidiarity sets up an imperialistic double standard. In the US, most people view adoption as acceptable even if the reason is stated as primarily financial. Yet critics of international adoption do not accept this motivation for poor moms in developing countries. It seems imperialistic for a developed nation to entrust its mothers with a certain freedom of choice, but then to say to poor mothers in developing nations that we know they are making the wrong choice. Along the lines of imperialism, this notion of deference for the native culture is a perpetuation of the “noble savage” myth. Why do we not let these birth mothers have a choice in the selection of adoptive parents, but only Central Authorities have the choice? We all know that the US is replete with unsuitable parents who ought to have their rights terminated, but when we imagine Africa, we can only conceive of parents who are doing their best, in the midst of difficult circumstances. To be fair and consistent, we ought to remain open to the idea that some of these parents are also unfit, even with sufficient education and resources. (The issue of an imperialistic attitude by the U.S. raises its head again when the subject of Hague implementation is examined.)