Family portrait
Purnank has close to 300 members from Pune, Mumbai and across the globe, who stay connected on WhatsApp. The Pune members meet almost every month
A city-based support group for adoptive parents and their children is shaping a new narrative for Indian families
Prospective adoptive parents have all of 48 hours to make the decision to adopt a child who has been referred to them. Often, the medical reports of a referral, as a child who is up for adoption is addressed in legal terms, are not up to date. Taking the all-important decision of bringing a new member into a family without complete clarity on a fundamental issue such as physical or mental health then becomes a challenge. In 2015, the Union Ministry of Women and Child Development decided to change the adoption procedure by authorising the Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) to monitor the system instead of letting local adoption agencies to continue controlling the process. While the move was an attempt to make the system more efficient, it meant that local NGOs and agencies were absolved of any role in supporting parents. “I realised then that support from adoptive parents would be helpful and more authentic for those waiting for their adoption to come through,” says Sangeeta Baginwar, a 46-year-old single adoptive mother, who founded Poornank, a forum of, and for, adoptive parents and children. There are close to 300 members in the group from Pune, Mumbai and across the globe, who stay connected on WhatsApp. There are six different groups on WhatsApp, tells us Baginwar, each dedicated to parents at various stages of adoption — from the pre-adoption stage, to a group focused on parents of young children between the ages of 1 and 6, 6–12, 12–18 and 18 onwards, to single parents, and one group of adopted children.
Earlier this month, some members of Poornank and their children met over lunch. “Members from Pune have been meeting almost every month,” says Baginwar, “At the last meeting, one of the concerns that came up was single mothers discussing how to tackle the question, ‘Where’s our father?, from their children.” Baginwar, an education expert, who organises science exhibitions that include robotics and experiential mathematics, says that children are more accepting of other adopted children. “If you tell them that another child doesn’t have a father just as some children don’t have a brother or a sister, they just accept the idea and move on,” says Amita Marathe, another single mother, who adopted a girl with a congenital heart defect who is now completely cured. Baginwar, who is homeschooling her seven-year-old daughter, Nimisha, speaks from experience. “There are some schools that discriminate against adopted children. I used to know a girl who excelled at Bharatanatyam but was not allowed to perform because she was adopted and not doing well academically,” she says. Nimisha was once told at school that she had two mothers. “I believe that nobody except the parents have a right to discuss this aspect of their life with their adopted children, but having said that, if the school wants to raise the subject, then they should be ready to deal with answering any question that the parent or child has for them,” she says, her eyes flashing with anger at the memory.