That's how you could describe a large part of my life in Amsterdam. From 1999 to 2018 I was allowed to live in Amsterdam. A life that I describe in retrospect as sex, drugs and rock and roll, especially the first ten years.

I was 27 years old when I moved from Deventer to Amsterdam, a wish I've had for a long time. Growing up as a homosexual in the Noordoostpolder was not for me. And I also noticed that I did not dare to be completely free in Deventer. After I 'come out' to my adoptive parents, everything made me feel like I had to move to the capital quickly because that's where it all happened, or so I thought at the time. And when the time came that I had found a place to live in Amsterdam, I couldn't believe my luck.

I came to live in the E-neighbourhood of Amsterdam Zuidoost, and found a job at KPN's call center. I combined that with an internship at the PAAZ in Zaandam. Working during the week and doing internships, going out on weekends. The latter in particular was a real revelation to me. Surrounded by other gay men for three days in a row, I loved it.

I soon found out that this life also had a downside. I also quickly spent the money I earned. Going to the Thermos sauna twice a week, and dancing every Friday and Saturday evening in the EXIT, is financially difficult. Going out every week also meant, for me at least, that I needed a lot of new clothes. And although I bought my clothes at H&M at the time, it went pretty fast. I thought it was also important to look good if you wanted to fit in.

Because my salary went through quickly, and my thoughts of 'new clothes and stuff count' became the only truth, I was short of money. It also didn't help that I bought a so-called comfort card and started buying things on installment. That only made the problem worse. In order to quickly get extra money, I decided to do escort work on the advice of an acquaintance. This turned out to be lucrative, there were many men who were willing to have sex with me, and who were willing to pay for it. In order to keep up with all this, I looked for help, which I found in the use of drugs. Taking ecstasy and snorting cocaine became part of my life over the weekend.

In America, popular narratives about adoption tend to focus on happy endings. Poor mothers who were predestined to give their children away for a “better life”; unwanted kids turned into chosen ones; made-for-television reunions years later. Since childhood, these story lines about the industry of infant adoptions had gradually seeped into my subconscious from movies, books, and the news.

Then, following the Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, the tropes proliferated. Photos of smiling white couples holding signs that read we will adopt your baby went viral this summer, quickly inspiring online mockery. Many U.S. adoption agencies prepared for a potential increase in adoption in states that have made abortion illegal, despite limited evidence that a need for these services will increase.

As I found while researching a book on identical twins raised in radically different circumstances, the reality of adoption is far more complicated than some might think—and, as many adoptees and scholars have argued, deserving of a more clear-eyed appraisal across American culture. I began reporting Somewhere Sisters in 2016. The identical twins Isabella and Hà were born in Vietnam in 1998, and their mother struggled to care for them. Isabella (born Loan) was adopted by a wealthy, white American family that gave her a new name and raised her in the suburbs of Chicago. Hà was adopted by a biological aunt and her partner, and grew up in a rural village in Vietnam with sporadic electricity and frequent monsoons.

Over several years, I interviewed the sisters, their first family, and their adoptive families. I also followed the twins’ anticipated yet fraught reunion at age 13 and the time that followed. Meanwhile, I delved into the archives of adoption history and scholarship. And I interviewed other adoptees from around the world. This all made clear to me that when reunions with birth families do happen, they aren’t always happy; they can be painful, confusing, or traumatic.

I also saw how scores of adoptees who are parents, lawyers, educators, or activists have been challenging the rosy image of adoption that stubbornly persists in our culture. One of them is Victoria DiMartile, a biracial Black and white adoptee raised by a white family, who is working toward her Ph.D. in anthropology at Indiana University at Bloomington. She studies the social and economic effects of the adoption business and is the founder of Wreckage and Wonder, which provides adoption education. Children are not offered up for adoption in a vacuum, she told me. Many of them “are available because of certain, very strategic political policies.”

Finding Home For 30 Million Abandoned Children: How Can India Attain High Adoption Level?

Vidyadhar Prabhudesai

Writer: Vidyadhar Prabhudesai (Guest Author)

India, 25 Oct 2022 7:48 AM GMT

Creatives : Shiva Chaudhary

NAGPUR: The Nagpur bench of Bombay high court has directed the Chandrapur Child Welfare Committee (CWC) to decide whether to hand over a two-year-old child’s custody to her birth mother, or a couple who raised the baby since soon after birth. The girl is currently placed in a home for destitutes.

The girl was born out of a live-in relationship in December 2019, and in March 2020 handed over to a childless couple after the petitioner was unable to take care of her. Even the girl’s father refused to look after her, and none of the relatives supported the petitioner as she was an unwed mother. The HC had ordered DNA tests of the petitioner and the child on September 19, to confirm she was her biological mother.

“The DNA profiling of the child and the petitioner has been done. The report is that she is the biological mother of the girl. In this view of the matter, we dispose of the petition by requesting the CWC to take an appropriate decision, consistent with the DNA profiling report, and of course keeping in mind the interest and welfare of the child,” a division bench comprising justices Rohit Deo and Urmila Phalke Joshi said, while allowing the petitioner to interact with her daughter subject to administrative convenience.

The backdrop of their order was a complaint lodged by the petitioner alleging that the foster parents had induced her to deliver the custody of the child, and prepared a false and fabricated document purporting to be an adoption deed which was notarized. “We are not delving deeper in the rest of the allegations in her complaint since we are informed the foster parents have instituted civil suit seeking to establish rights as adoptive parents,” the judges said, while directing the CWC to admit the kid into the remand home for destitutes.

According to the petitioner, when she found that the couple lacked financial resources, she demanded they hand over the child’s custody back to her. After the couple declined, she approached the district child protection officer.

Ukrainian children say they were taken against their will by Russian forces and placed up for adoption in Russia, where the process has been expedited

Ukrainian officials said thousands of children were taken by Russian forces from occupied areas of Ukraine and forcibly deported to Russian-occupied territories or Russia itself, where adoption of the children has been fast-tracked.

One child, a 14-year-old girl identified only as Anya, told The New York Times she was taken against her will and is still stuck in Russia, living with a foster family. She said she was on track to become a Russian citizen, even though she wants to return to her friends and family in Ukraine.

"I didn't want to go," she told the Times, who interviewed her via instant messages and voice memos. "But nobody asked me."

Anya is just one example among recent reports on Russia's efforts to adopt Ukrainian children and raise them as Russian. Ukrainian officials as early as April said Russian forces were "forcibly deporting" kids and fast-tracking adoptions. An official count tracked by the Ukrainian government says more than 8,700 have been deported, but the figure is difficult to track.

Children’s minister Roderic O’Gorman said the Mother and Baby Homes Commission report revealed “the truth of what happened” in the institutions in a letter to Orders seeking a financial contribution to the Government’s redress scheme.

In a series of letters to the religious orders that ran Mother and Baby Institutions, as well as to the Archbishops of Dublin and Armagh sent on January 12, 2021, Mr O’Gorman said the Commission had “delivered an independent, comprehensive, and factual account of the institutions under investigation, and the experiences of the women and children who resided there for a period”.

“Publication of the Report is a landmark moment for the Irish State. The Report reveals the truth of what happened, within the walls of Mother and Baby Homes and beyond them, to many thousands of women and children. Importantly, it also captures those journeys and experiences in the words of those who experienced them first-hand,” he said.

In its final report, the Commission found:

“no evidence” that women were forced to enter mother and baby institutions by Church or State authorities;

Hollee McGinnis added 3 new photos to the album The Journey.

30 October 2022  ·

Like many adoptees, the only pictures I had of my birth growing up were the ones of me when I entered the orphanage around the age of two that convinced my parents I was to be their daughter and photos of my arrival to the U.S. when I was three. And so, I felt as a child I had fallen out of the sky on a Boeing 747, walking, talking, and potty-trained.

Being born was foreign. I had no evidence of it happening to me, no one to be my mirror to remind me, except when I peered into a mirror and saw a face that looked foreign to me because it didn’t match the faces of those I called my family, peering back.

It has been a long journey to know ~~ and accept and love ~~ that face, this body, who held all the knowing of my birth. The terrain of my face I carry from my mother and father, and my ancestors in Korea. Yet, the laugh lines, the crows feet, are all imprinted from a life filled with love from my family and friends in America.

Mater Matuta vzw

22 October 2022  ·

Ook hier werden moeders gedwongen om hun baby af te staan. En NOOIT werd hier het aantal gedwongen adopties onderzocht.

prospectmagazine.co.uk

More than 50 years after her newborn baby was taken from her in a Brisbane hospital, Lily Arthur is still fighting for justice on forced adoption. Hear how she was reunited with her son.

IPOH: After paying RM9,000 to an unregistered agent to adopt a child, Cheah Yoon Moy is now worried about the future of her daughter.

The 53-year-old trader paid an agent whom she had met through a friend in Johor to adopt her daughter 14 years ago.

“I was working in Kuala Lumpur and unmarried. My mother was concerned that when I get older, no one would be there to look after me so she asked me to consider adopting a child.

“After asking around, a friend of a friend told me that an agent could help me out. I drove all the way from Ipoh to Johor Baru to adopt my daughter, who was four months old at the time, with a payment of RM8,500,” she told reporters during a press conference held by Ipoh Barat MCA coordinator Low Guo Nan.

Cheah said upon adopting her daughter, the agent also provided her with a birth certificate with her name registered as the biological mother.