n July and August, editor-in-chief Jozefien Daelemans and Editor-in-Chief Anouk Torbeyns alternate weekly in a new series of summer columns. This week: Anouk who wants to reflect on her first mom on this second Mother's Day. Photo: Sarah Van Looy
Today the mothers are celebrated in the province, more specifically in the diocese, Antwerp. While we always look at the people of Antwerp with a crooked eye because they can't just do 'normal' and celebrate Mother's Day in May like all the rest, a Mother's Day on Our Lady of Ascension actually seems more logical. People then commemorate and celebrate Mary, the primeval mother – at least in Catholic culture – the mother of mothers.
As an Antwerp immigrant with a mother who does not live on the territory, I still celebrated Mother's Day in May in recent years and I did nothing special on August 15. I want to change that starting this year. I want to use this second Mother's Day to honor my first, popularly called 'organic', mother. Because no matter how unconditional the care and love of my adoptive mom is, my first mother never really got a prominent place in my personal adoption story. Wrongly, I now know.
“My first mother never really got a prominent place in my adoption story. Wrongly, I now know.”
When I look back on it now, I was taught from an early age to subtly distance myself from my birth mother because, for whatever reason, she gave me up too. Not entirely illogical, of course. With an adoption, your environment tries to do everything possible so that you attach yourself to your new environment and family as quickly as possible. Everyone has done their best to create a warm nest, to receive me with open arms and to make me feel at home, blood ties or not. I don't suspect anyone of bad intentions. Today, however, I dare to doubt whether it was the best approach.