Home  

An Adult Adoptee Decides to Adopt

An Adult Adoptee Decides to Adopt

This spring, Bert and Sarah Ballard hope to fly to Vietnam to pick up the little boy they plan to adopt. In the three years since they began the adoption process, the couple, who already have two biological daughters, have experienced the excitement, emotional upheaval, and bureaucratic setbacks typical for adoptive families. In one significant way, though, the Ballards' experience has been unusual.

Bert Ballard is himself an adoptee. In April of 1975, during the chaotic last few weeks of the war in Vietnam, the United States government sponsored an evacuation of some 3,000 orphaned and displaced children from Saigon and placed them with adoptive families overseas. The evacuation, which came to be known as Operation Babylift, has been regarded both as a great humanitarian response to the crisis and a bungled effort that amounted to kidnapping. While most of the children were, indeed, orphans in need of homes, as many as 20 percent still had parents in Vietnam.

Bert Ballard was one of the children on those planes. I first met him in 2005, as I was conducting research for a book about Operation Babylift. As I had discovered, Operation Babylift adoptees have varying levels of information about their pasts. Some know, for example, their place of birth. Others have birth certificates, records of hospital stays, or documentation from the orphanages that cared for them. Bert Ballard has none of these. His Vietnamese name, Vu Tien Do II, doesn't even make sense in Vietnam, which has no tradition of naming children "Junior," or "the Second," or "the Third."

Soon after Bert's adoptive parents took him into their home in 1975, they asked for an explanation for the "II" at the end of their new son's name. The adoption facilitator offered an answer that reveals the disorganization of the entire effort. One baby, who had been given the name Vu Tien Do, somehow got lost. A different baby--who would later become Bert--was discovered and given the lost child's name. When the original Vu Tien Do turned up, the adoption facilitators left both names intact, adding a "II" to the name of the boy who came second.

Despite the holes in his history, Bert Ballard considers himself fortunate. Loving parents raised him. He grew up in small-town America and received an excellent education. He's quick to admit, though, that his personal history has left him with a sense of loss. "I can remember as early as third grade, sitting in music class and everyone was talking about where they were born and I didn't have any answers for that."

As the trans-national adoptees of the '50s, '60s, and '70 mature, they have come to add new, and often heated, voices to the debate over the ethics of adoption. They do not, however, offer a unified perspective on the subject. While many adoptees express satisfaction about their upbringing, others see their adoption as a crime that tore them from their vulnerable birth families.

Ballard's view on the subject lies somewhere in between, and explains, in some ways, his own reason for adopting now. Although his awkward journey to the United States underscores the perils of mismanaged adoption, he also believes that children in need can benefit from the opportunity to be raised in loving homes. "I personally have difficulty with calls to end adoption in general," Ballard says, "because I feel that that ignores the broader social context of what's going on. Whether it's war, whether it's poverty, there's a reason that adoption occurs, and it's because families can't take care of their children." He does not think adoption should be a first choice, as seems to have been the case recently with a group of Haitian children, but he also disagrees with those who would summarily dismiss it as a viable option.

Even though the Ballards hope to travel this spring--35 years after Bert was himself airlifted out of Vietnam--they know that, in the complex world of international adoption, things almost never go as planned. In part because of Bert's own troubling experience as a child, the couple have worked to ensure that this adoption conforms to ethical standards. They recognize, too, that, though they believe the boy to be legitimately in need of a home, it's possible that a biological mother could appear over the next few months and ask to keep the child. Such an event would devastate the Ballards, who already consider the boy their son, but they also believe that the desires of biological parents take precedence. "I would fight for her rights," Sarah Ballard says, "as much as I would fight for my own."

As a boy, Bert Ballard sometimes dreamed of returning to his homeland, which seemed like a way to re-capture what he'd left behind. Now, as he plans to make his first journey back to Vietnam, he finds himself less focused on the past than on the future. "Now it's about going over and picking him up," Ballard says. "I want to have good, positive memories of when I picked up my son, memories of my whole family. It's not just about me."

 

Forum on new agency/fees

Adoption

Thread:- LEANBH, What is it? Report Abuse

Posted by:- chinviet    Send PM      ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:03



I THINK it's a new organisation to be headed up by Shane Downer, that it will be carrying out ICA assessments and that it will charge between €3k and €7k. 

Aside from this, I haven't a clue so would be grateful for any more information...ie What will the HSE's role be going forward and will it too be carrying out assessments? If so, will people have a choice of being assessed by the HSE or by Leanbh? What is provided for the fee paid?

Will Leanbh have any other remit aside from the above? Any and all information or opinions would be appreciated. 

I do not understand this new departure at all!

Thanks in advance! 

Post reply Share this thread Back to Adoption

Replies: Show replies in reverse order. 
1 | 2 |

long  ID:- 72664   Date:- 07/04/2010 08:03      Send PM    reply:- 14 

i have spent the last 18months approx. chasing after ministers/td's the main thing i have been told is that they want to take the money out of ica. surely by having to pay 5/7k to new agency this is just moving the banker closer to home (the money won't be leaving ireland).

also does anybody know how long this agency has been in the pipeline. i myself would imagine a couple of years. so i would feel that we have been dragged along by more than just ba

long

chinviet  ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 23:45      Send PM    reply:- 13 

The tax-payer is already funding a CEO who no longer has a job to do. Why is that? 

I personally do not see the necessity for a mediation agency to co-ordinate adoptions in the future. Well and good for people who would like to use an agency but will we have an option? We did not with Vietnam and look how that ended up. ICA is already out of reach for many because of costs...having to pay between €5k and €7k will make it impossible for many more, especially in these straitened times. 

As for social worker post-placement work, do away with it!! There is no need for these to be done by SW's and no legal requirement from any sending country, to my knowledge, that they be done by SW's. After all, we the parents, know our children better than any SW.
Imagine how much faster the HSE could get through waiting lists if they weren't wasting time on PPR's!

TBFrank  ID:- 56352   Date:- 06/04/2010 21:41      Send PM    reply:- 12 

To clarify - I don't think any fees should end up going to the country from which the child is being adopted. They should however cover domestic admin costs of the mediation agency,e.g. the 2K portion that HH could account for. They probably should also cover the cost of SW post adoption work - maybe it's not fair at this time that taxpayers should be asked to foot that. 5K does sound high though. If there were to be any HA donations - maybe they should be routed to non-Hague countries to be used to get them to a Hague-compliant status (don't ask me how or who would monitor that .. UN anyone?). There definitely should not be mandatory donations to the country of origin - that practice is already beginning to sound as wrong as tax breaks for property speculation, or politicians memoirs.

vietmom  ID:- 23433   Date:- 06/04/2010 19:09      Send PM    reply:- 11 

Agreed Chinviet it's such a pity for the kids involved isn't it? They will be growing up in a wealthy country and thankfully will never know what it is like not to have money for food, I just hope we will not let them down as parents and be able to explain all this to them in the future regardless of their country of origin

chinviet  ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 19:04      Send PM    reply:- 10 

Hi vietmom. Not all countries adopting from Ethiopia are as lucky as we are where fees are concerned. We are just privileged imo in that the orphanages we have been adopting from are opposed to financial charges although there has been pressure incountry recently on them to pay fees in respect of paperwork for children going for adoption. This pressure has come from more than one source and in at least one case, there is a feeling that the refusal to pay has led to the orphanage in question receiving fewer babies for adoption. It is a sad fact of life but money definitely talks everywhere but no louder, I am sure, than in the third world.

vietmom  ID:- 23433   Date:- 06/04/2010 18:49      Send PM    reply:- 9 

Hi all

I did say on another thread that I was afraid these mounting fees would mean many couples could no longer adopt and it is still something I think will happen. Outside the agency fee I can't see assessments being done by a seperate agency for free!!! 
I agree money and adoption dont sit well together and never will. I was filling my friend in recently and spoke about fees. As an adult adoptee she really was upset that any money was involved. She explained in her usual blunt way how it made her feel to think that money was involved in adoption and how would we explain to our children why money was involved in the first place. 
Yet there is no way in this day and age the gov are going arrange adoptions for free, I dont know if any country does.
I think the balance is to keep fees to a minimum. I do think 5k is too high and I would like to know who sets the fee and who monitors it. I think things like Humanitarian aid should be a voluntary contribution of no set amount and only if the couple want to make the donation, it should not be obligatory. I think all fees should be set for a min of 5 years so that couples do not face the yearly increases they had with Vn. It would be good if Leanbh work with countries where there is little or no fee ie Ethiopia thus limiting the costs for couples here and the chances of corruption

chinviet  ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 18:06      Send PM    reply:- 7 

TBFrank, wherever money is payable, there is always a risk that it will be a motivating factor. I think that is just a sad fact of life. 

I don't see why we should have to pay any fees at all and the amount suggested is a colossal amount. Is it just another case of the government abdicating its responsibilities? 

I am not so sure that ratifying Hague is going to be all it's cracked up to be...Ethiopia has not ratified Hague and Irish adoptions from there could not be more ethical...yet, they are going to cease shortly. Seems to me that our government has it all wrong!!!

chinviet  ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:53      Send PM    reply:- 6 

Hi long. I share your feelings. i have huge objections to the payment of fees in respect of adoption and as far as I can see, the government is just trying to privatize this area as a means of making further cut-backs. This is going to put adoption beyond reach for even more people, in my opinion.

TBFrank  ID:- 56352   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:51      Send PM    reply:- 5 

The money was an issue when it became a motivating factor for adoptable babies fitting the precise requirements of PAPs to be made available. Hopefully we'll do due diligence this time to ensure everything is accounted for and money ends up paying only for justifiable administration expenses. With the IAA track record on the Vietnam saga, ratification of the Hague is going to be a very important buffer to have in place.

vietmom  ID:- 23433   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:46      Send PM    reply:- 4 

Hi Long
I get your point but this was always going to happen with Mediation Agencies. The fees are to cover everything salaries, running costs etc etc. Lets face it CEOs earn high salaries and that is not a criticism it is a fact. HH would have been doing the same.
I wonder does anyone know if you will be able to adopt from one of the countries that Leanbh will be dealing without having to use them.

chinviet  ID:- 74517   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:44      Send PM    reply:- 3 

Thanks vietmom. I set up the original thread in good faith as I really want to get some information on how things are going to shape up in the future in the area of ICA. It is a pity it went off topic and I accept that I am in part responsible for that but I reacted instinctively when I saw someone's integrity being unfairly called into question. 

long  ID:- 72664   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:28      Send PM    reply:- 2 

Hi All

how can it now be ok for an agency to charge 5/7K when it is money in ica that got us to this point. is it just a case that maybe the gov. are upset that this money has been leaving the country and not going into their funds. will they want to charge people who transfer from hh to this agency 5/7K

long

vietmom  ID:- 23433   Date:- 06/04/2010 17:14      Send PM    reply:- 1 

Hi Chinviet

Leanbh is a Mediation Agency. It will be up and running after the Adoption Bill goes through. It has to be not for profit but it will have to cover all it's own costs ie salaries etc. The fee according to the new CEO Shane Downer will be between 5k and 7k. The other Mediation Agency could not charge a fee, under the exsisting law. They were funded by the AB. This ammounted to 1.6 million in the first three. years. Leanbh are looking at a number of countries. Among them are Kenya, South Korea, South Africa, Taiwan, Cambodia and possibly Vietnam in the future. To the best of my knowledge (I am not an IAA member) Shane Downer has stepped down from his position as Chairman of the IAA to take up his new position.
A seperate agency is to be set up to deal with assessments, it is not clear yet if this will be free of charge or whether there will be a fee as well.

Interview Etanesh Befekadu

Last month, we interviewed Miss. Etanesh Befekadu, the Manager of

Bethzatha Children’s Home Associations branch orphanage in Jimma, Ethiopia. Here, she shared with us her story of how she came to her calling & how she is taking part in saving orphans from distress.

My name is Etanesh Befekadu. I live in Jimma. I came to work for Bethzatha in a very amazing and wonderful way. I came across the opportunity at a time that I so desperately sought for what I can do to alleviate my stress. I am a teacher at a rural public school. Every penny I bring home from working is spent on transportI pay monthly for my carand various other dire necessities. The income I receive from my day job is not enough to cover it all. I have children that do not have a fathertheir father died and I am now raising them alone. Since the income I bring home is very meager, I was contemplating what I could do [as additional work] when, it so happened that my brothers and sisters in Addis Ababa invited me to my brother?s wedding. I was not happy to go to the weddingmy income wouldn?t allow for me to what I wanted to do for my brother?s wedding celebration. Even if he didn?t want anything from me, because I didn?t have the funds to even go, I decided not to go.

It just so happened that my brother mentioned that he had a sister that lived in Jimma to his

Post-quake snag slows adoptions from Haiti

Post-quake snag slows adoptions from Haiti

by JIM DOUGLAS / WFAA-TV

Posted on March 30, 2010 at 5:48 PM

Updated Tuesday, Mar 30 at 5:48 PM

Related:

Vittoria del Governo romeno sui bambini abbandonati

<<>

Data: 29-03-10

Vittoria del Governo romeno sui bambini abbandonati

“Siamo un gruppo di ragazzi che hanno vissuto negli orfanotrofi di Brasov, in Romania. Vogliamo raccontarvi del nostro passato ma prima di tutto ringraziarvi per la petizione sulla riapertura delle adozioni internazionali in Romania. Abbiamo sofferto molto tra le mura di quegli istituti dove botte e abusi erano all’ordine del giorno. Molti di noi avrebbero potuto essere adottati, molti di noi si sarebbero potuti salvare ma il Governo rumeno non ci ha mai consentito di avere una famiglia. Dopo avere compiuto 18 anni, ciascuno di noi ha dovuto lasciare l’orfanotrofio. Ci siamo ritrovati soli, a vivere in strada. Questo succederà anche a tutti i minori della Romania se l’adozione internazionale non sarà aperta.”

Questa la lettera ricevuta qualche giorno dopo la chiusura della Petizione attraverso cui Ai.Bi. chiedeva al Parlamento Europeo la riapertura delle Adozioni Internazionali in Romania.

Children for Sale: Trafficking by Foreign Embassies

Children for Sale: Trafficking by Foreign Embassies

MARCH 29, 2010 NO COMMENT

Karachi: Solid evidences have revealed that foreign embassies in Pakistan are involved in illegal child trafficking. NGOs sponsored and supported by foreign embassies are adopting new born Pakistani Muslim children and sending them abroad, whereas local welfare organizations are also involved in the crime. According to Pakistan’s law, non-Muslims cannot adopt Muslims.

However, reality speaks differently. A foreign couple employed in a foreign embassy holding Passport No. 19124346 and 19124345 adopted a 6 month old child Zara Bilquis from a renowned welfare organization. The welfare organization permitted that the child can be migrated to another country after adoption.

Passport copies of foreigners involved in child trafficking

Passport copies of foreigners involved in child trafficking

However, serious mismatching of facts was revealed when the documents where reviewed in detail. The documents state that the child was adopted by the couple on August 21, 2009, whereas, birth certificate of the child K00680496 was prepared a month earlier on July 27, 2009 and the name of couple was already mentioned as parents instead of original parents.

An important source relating to the case told The Eastern Tribune that in the last two decades, more than 40,000 Muslim children have been smuggled from Pakistan. The source claimed that these children are converted to Christianity and can be used against the interest of Pakistan. Several incidents of child trafficking by foreign NGOs were also reported right after the 2005 earthquake in the northern areas of Pakistan. “These NGOs take advantage of the IR-4 visa classification of the United States,” the source claimed.

The IR-4 visa classification signifies that the orphan will be adopted by the petitioner after being admitted to the United States.  In order to issue an IR-4 visa, the consular officer must be satisfied that the petitioner both intends to adopt the beneficiary in the U.S. and is legally able to do so.  The petitioner must have secured permanent legal custody of the orphan under the laws of the orphan’s home country.  That custody must be sufficient to allow the child to be taken from the country and adopted abroad.  In addition, the petitioner must have fulfilled any applicable pre-adoption requirements of their home state.

However, none of the requirements were followed when these foreign NGOs adopted new born children in Pakistan and smuggled them abroad. Sources also revealed that the Government of Pakistan does not even have correct facts and figures regarding the adopted children by foreign NGOs, leave aside the violation of Pakistani and international law.

 

- Special Report by Tariq Habib

Most Adoptions From China Now Special-Needs Cases

Most Adoptions From China Now Special-Needs Cases

Challenging special-needs cases make up growing share of adoptions from China

By DAVID CRARY

The Associated Press

NEW YORK

Who's playing God?

Who's playing God?

By Tim Gavel and Jennifer Andrew

Updated 1 hour 43 minutes ago

The recent spate of media attention focusing on a foreign inter-country adoption program involving Ethiopia children has led to speculation about the Ethiopian-Australian program. (AFP: Roberto Schmidt, file photo)

We're at the checkout at our local IGA, working fast because the kids have spotted the chocolates placed strategically at kid-friendly height. The woman next in line asks pleasantly, and within ear-shot of one and all, whether their 'real' parents are dead. I smile and say politely 'yes'.

Lettera shock dalla Romania:”negli istituti hanno violentato il nostro futuro.”

GOOGLE TRANSLATION

Letter from Romania shock "in institutions raped our

the future. "

Reopening the international adoptions for not condemning the children without

Romanian families to live the horror that they knew them. And 'this