When Robert and Jo Garofalo decided they wanted to adopt a child in Morocco they knew it would not be easy. Although the law in the Muslim state had been changed to allow foreign adoptions, the couple were required to convert to Islam first.

But in the end it was not the Moroccan authorities that proved the biggest hurdle for the film director and his wife — it was their own local social services. For three months, during which Mrs Garofalo lived with their adopted son in a rented flat in Tangier, the couple were subjected to a series of what they believe were unecessarily harsh and intrusive interviews in which every aspect of their lives was scrutinised. Finally they were approved and were able to bring young Samuel back to their home, where he has thrived.

So when, earlier this year, they approached Surrey social services for approval to adopt again from the same Moroccan orphanage, they were surprised to discover that they would have to go through the whole process again. The couple were particularly concerned that, in order to assess Samuel’s “attachment” to them, he would have to be monitored and even filmed while playing.

Equally disconcerting was that even though social workers indicated in an initial report that they would be prepared to support the second application, the couple were left with the impression that they were being asked to do more to show they were living a Muslim lifestyle.

“The Moroccan orphanage felt it would be good for Samuel to have a brother and were very positive and encouraging. They were happy with the way we dealt with Samuel’s cultural and religious needs,” Mrs Garofalo, a 40-year-old actress, said. But this was not enough for Surrey, who made clear that an assessment would go ahead only if the couple proved that they were making enough effort to live a Muslim lifestyle.

In their report, social workers noted that although the couple had stated their religion was Islam “there is no outward sign that this is a Muslim family . . . Joanne and Robert are aware that the socio-religious element is an aspect of Samuel’s identity and heritage which this agency takes very seriously.” It recommended that “particular attention be given to sharing techniques and strategies with Joanne and Robert that will enhance their children’s sense of identity and legacy, particularly in view of their very public statement they made deciding to convert to Islam in order to adopt”.

Mrs Garofalo said: “The social workers made it clear that we should be seen to be ‘keeping Samuel’s culture alive’ by showing signs of it in our house. But what does that mean? He has to know about English life, as well as knowing where he comes from.

“Did they really expect me to be covered up, sitting on a prayer mat? When we’d converted to Islam so that we could adopt Samuel, there’d been no clause in the paperwork saying we had to put the Koran in our entrance.

“We might not be leading an outwardly Muslim lifestyle, but we are sensitive and respectful to Samuel’s background. We remain close friends with the orphanage manager, Naima, and next year are even flying out to her daughter’s wedding and taking Samuel with us. Surely this shows we are sensitive to his roots?”

The couple have since abandoned their plans to adopt again. “I’d love more kids. We’re older parents and we felt it would be good for Samuel to have a brother from the same orphanage. We could easily bring up another child, but we wouldn’t put Samuel through any more stress and disruption,” Mrs Garofalo said.

She believes that her experience is indicative of a bureaucratic system that pays too much attention to political correctness and too little to the needs of children who face a bleak future in developing countries.

From the beginning the process seemed almost designed to discourage them from adopting even a British child.

Mr Garofalo, now 52, met his future wife when she was on tour with his friend, the comic Jim Davidson. They married in 1999. After three failed IVF attempts and a miscarriage, the couple decided to adopt, but when they started the adoption procedure they were told that they would have to wait as Jo’s father had died after a long illness and they would have to have six months to “grieve”.

After more delays, the couple had almost given up when they learnt from Robert’s brother, Peter, a missionary in Morocco, that the new King had changed the law to allow Europeans to adopt Moroccan children.

They were advised that if they found a child in Morocco, it would be a breach of human rights if Surrey council refused to deal with their case quickly, so they were full of confidence when they flew to Tangier in February 2006. The next morning they arrived at the Crèche de Tangier, a colonial-looking building outside the city. It was clean and well run, but the couple were shocked at the sheer number of children it was dealing with. In one room alone there were 20 steel cots. It was here that Mrs Garofalo was introduced to four-month-old Achraf Halim.

That day the couple converted to Islam, compiled their paperwork, including police checks, birth certificates and proof of income, and presented it to a local social worker. The next day, they stayed with Achraf. “We decided to call him Samuel Achraf Robert.”

However, before they could bring Samuel back to Britain they had to obtain a certificate of eligibility” from Surrey social services. “When we contacted them [Surrey], they told us our case ‘wasn’t a priority’, because it wasn’t a domestic adoption and that the earliest we could expect to be assessed would be September, 2006 — seven months later. I was flying out to Morocco, staying in hotels, spending all day with Samuel at the orphanage, while fighting our UK situation and finalising the adoption in Morocco through the courts there.”

Exasperated, the couple threatened to go to the press to highlight their situation, which prompted Surrey council to hold an emergency meeting. “Finally we were appointed an independent social worker and our date was set for May, 2006.”

Meanwhile, they had arranged to rent a flat in Tangier, so that Jo could live with Samuel. “The plan was for me to travel to the UK to attend the assessment interviews at our home.” Over the next three months the couple underwent eight four-hour interviews; six as a couple, and one each on their own.

Mrs Garofalo’s former husband was contacted for a reference, even though their marriage had lasted only months, when she was in her early twenties. On one occasion, Mrs Garofalo was asked: “Would you adopt a child with a terminal illness or a facial disfigurement?” “When I told her I wouldn’t want to adopt a child with a facial disfigurement or one that was going to die, she became very condescending,” said Jo. “She said, ‘So. Jo. You have a problem with facial disfigurement?’

The Garofalos were finally approved in July 2006, and got Samuel’s visa in September. He was then monitored for a further six months and finally gained his British passport in September 2007.

So when, in January this year, they decided to adopt another child from the same orphanage, the Garofalos were taken aback to find that they would have to go through the whole assessment process again.

Even so, they went ahead and were visited by two Surrey social workers who prepared an initial report. But after being told that Samuel would have to be monitored and filmed, they decided to abandon their efforts.

“We decided we didn’t want to subject Samuel to that. We didn’t want him to be filmed at a play centre. And if we were being questioned at this stage like this, before we’d even started the procedure, what would it be like farther down the line?”

They are equally incensed that social workers appeared to be setting themselves up as arbiters of the couple’s commitment to Islam and made it clear they were not satisfied that they were living as Muslims.

“Samuel will always know about his religion, but it will be his choice as to what he follows when he is old enough to make that decision. What would it all add to a toddler’s life? He doesn’t understand religion. He likes Thomas the Tank Engine.”

Surrey County Council said that children’s services were under a legal duty to conduct an assessment on how the couple’s son was doing, and their efforts to promote his Muslim faith, before exploring a second adoption.

“The couple approached us with a view to adopting the second child and we told them that by law we had to do an assessment to find out how well the adopted Muslim child from Morocco had settled with them in this country, the security of his attachments and the likely impact on him of having a sibling with complex needs in the household. We also told them the assessment would look at their efforts to promote the adopted child’s religion and culture. After finding out these legal requirements, they decided not to continue the process.”

Adopting from abroad

— There are about 300 adoptions of children from overseas each year, compared with about 2,700 adoptions of children from care

— It is strongly recommended that couples get approval as adoptive parents from their local social services before they identify the child they wish to care for. Many countries now insist on it before they help you to find a child

— The approval process is identical to that for adopting children from within Britain and lasts between six months and a year

— It involves interviews with social workers, providing references and attending specialist courses

— Questions are usually asked about how parents will protect the child’s cultural heritage. The application for an inter-country adoption must be signed off by the Department for Children

— It costs around £25,000 in agency fees, for documentation, flights and often donations to orphanages