A Home of My Own

www.indiaparenting.com

Laxmi, USA I would like to adopt a baby from Pune. Any information on this?

Shan, INDIA Already have a small girl child of my own but would like to adopt my second one. Kindly let me know of any good adoption centre in Pune.

Shilpa, ANADA My friend is adopting a baby from SOFOSH Pune and I heard they are very helpful.

THE REASONS are still somewhat nebu-lous,

but the inference is obvious. They are all reaching out to Pune. Far removed from its glitzy reputation as an over-publicised IT destination, pulsating with malls, multi-plexes and migrants or its standing as the most prolific education centre of the country, is a Pune that nurtures and fulfills dreams of a dif-ferent kind. It completes families.

Ask Jawahar Bekay of Bangalore or Kaushal Juneja from Gurgaon or Jose A Carrasco from Spain or any of the 500-odd parents who come to the city every year to adopt a child and they will tell you why, despite the distance, the city is just a heartbeat away from them. “Even we don’t know when and how Pune got this reputation of being the city of adoption—but it’s very apt,” says Madhuri Abhyankar, director, Society of Friends of Sassoon Hospital (SOFOSH), with its Streevasta the most respected adoption centre in the city. Started in 1964 in the Sassoon Hospi-tal premises to provide shelter to babies born and abandoned in the hospital, SOFOSH soon found its role extended to giving away babies to mothers who’d lost their own while delivering.

Swedish firm SKF stepped in to support their work and by 1973 Swedes were coming to SOFOSH to adopt children. The word spread and there was an equal influx from Holland, Canada and the US. “Earlier, Indians were adopting in secrecy or within the family, but when they saw foreigners having no issues with colour, race or background, it encouraged them,” adds Abhyankar, proud that while in the first five years, most adoptions were by for-eigners, today the statistics are quite the re-verse, with 95 per cent adoptions by Indians. “From 1974 to 2005, we have given away 2,250 children. Of these, 1,626 have gone to Indians and 624 to foreigners. Of Indians, about 55 per cent are from outside Pune,’’ adds Abhyankar.

At Bhartiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK), an-other reputed adoption centre, at any given time there is a waiting list of 100 parents, while Preet Mandir, one of the city’s biggest and old-est orphanages, claims to place almost 200 children a year. Added to all this is the hearten-ing fact that the average stay of most of the children at SOFOSH from the time they come in till the time they are given for adoption, is just about four months. “The parents, however, need to wait from eight months to a year for adoption because we place children in homes only after proper inves-tigation, counseling and paperwork,” says Ab-hyankar.

“Also we stick to the fees laid down by the Central Adoption Resource Agency (CARA), give parents all the details we have with us about the child, including medical problems, if any.” So is it this meticulous adherence to rules coupled with unusual sensitivity towards the child and adoptive parent that has tilted the balance in favour of Pune? “Adopting is a very emotional issue and the comfort level is very important,’’ says Neesha Ram, 38, a design en-gineer settled in San Jose, California. “When we decided to adopt, I enrolled on an NRI website and started to receive messages on the subject.

We first looked at Chennai but got horrific sto-ries about the process there. But the stuff on Pune was wonderful. We came here to see for ourselves and weren’t disappointed.” The Rams took home a baby boy two years ago and plan to come back soon for a girl. The horrific experience in Delhi drove Gur-gaon’s Kaushal Juneja to Pune. A father of three girls, Juneja’s request for a boy was turned down by three Delhi agencies. “They found it suspicious that I wanted a boy—why, for God’s sake? It doesn’t mean I’d love my daughters less. They harassed me endlessly.’’ It was finally at Pune’s Preet Mandir that the businessman found succour—and his son.

“We don’t refuse any parent a child or any child shelter—that’s our policy,” says J.S. Bhasin, managing trustee, Preet Mandir. Under the shadow last year for some media reports that had censured the home for insidious practices and a money extortion racket, something Bhasin dismisses as jealousy and petty politics, Preet Mandir is one of the few centres to promote adoption of children in the age group six to 12. “These children are not as wanted as in-fants, but we’ve placed 100 in the past two years. Now we want to move onto 12-18 years too.”

Interestingly, Bhasin feels the reasons for Pune’s reputation as a preferred adoption des-tination goes beyond the feelgood. “The li-cences of most centres in Andhra are yet to be reissued after the Hyderabad scam, and states like Bihar, MP, Jharkhand, Rajasthan, Chhattis-garh and UP don’t even have a proper proce-dure in place. Where else would parents go other than Maharashtra?” Adds Nishita Shah, chairperson of Voluntary Coordination Agency that coordinates adoptions among the 10 cen-tres in Pune: “Even in Maharashtra, the proce-dure in Mumbai courts is long-drawn and you cannot leave after applying for adoption, un-like Pune where you can place the child in fos-ter care and return for the formalities later.

Pune is also a pioneer in adoption activities and its model has been replicated country-wide. Also there is this advantage of more avail-ability of children in Pune than other places, along with efficient networking between all the centres that ensures most children find proper homes and vice-versa.’’ Bhasin also has a special team that goes to mofussil areas to get abandoned children, and has devised a “single window system’’ to make adoptions quicker and easier. Except that quick is not usually top priority for most par-ents.

“It’s trust and transparency besides the quality of child care,’’ asserts Anuradha Dixit, deputy director, BSSK. A point in case being that of Jawahar Bekay, a software professional from Bangalore. “I was recommended SO-FOSH by four to five families in Bangalore who had adopted from there. What made me decide for the centre finally was the exceptional care I saw them taking of their wards. Though we had to wait 10 months to take our daughter home, it was with a lot of security, as we were walked through every detail of the adoption process.’’ They may come from all over, but their sto-ries are the same. Yet very different. Munish Keshwani came from Chennai to take a daugh-ter from Pune on the recommendation of his colleague in Citibank who had done the same.

And Seeta who was adopted by a Swedish cou-ple Kjell and Anne-Christine 30 years ago from SOFOSH came back to the centre last Novem-ber, with husband Daniel Backlund, to adopt a baby girl of her own. Surely something right, something true, is happening here. Abhyankar has the last word: “Maybe Pune’s reputation as a city of cultured and educated people also plays a part in people wanting its children. After all, adoption is as important a de-cision as marriage, more important actually.’