‘Christen moet tegen nota Rouvoet ingaan’
Geplaatst: 24 oktober 2009 06:33, laatste wijziging: 23 oktober 2009 21:13
door onze redacteur Petra Noordhuis
VOGELENZANG - Christenen hebben de plicht om tegen de gezinsnota van minister Rouvoet in te gaan. Die oproep klonk vrijdag op een studiebijeenkomst van het rooms-katholieke Centrum voor de Sociale Leer van de Kerk.

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Discussies over het gezin zijn vaak ideologisch gekleurd, constateert prof. dr. René Hoksbergen, emeritus hoogleraar adoptie. In de jaren zestig en zeventig werd de functie van het gezin gebagatelliseerd, volgens hem. ,,Een irritante ontwikkeling'', vond hij dat. Hij is blij dat minister André Rouvoet van Jeugd en Gezin erkent dat het gezin belangrijk is.
Vorig jaar bracht Rouvoet de nota 'De kracht van het gezin uit'. Het rooms-katholieke Centrum voor de Sociale Leer van de Kerk wijdde er vrijdag een studiebijeenkomst aan, waarop een kleine vijftig geïnteresseerden af kwamen: ouders, priesters en mensen die vanuit hun werk met het gezin te maken hebben.
Hoksbergen was een van de sprekers. Er bestaan volgens hem veel misverstanden over het gezin. Zo leeft het idee dat veel kinderen niet meer in een gezin opgroeien. ,,Terwijl zeven op de acht kinderen opgroeit bij beide biologische ouders.'' De ouders zijn meestal ook getrouwd met elkaar, zegt Hoksbergen. ,,Mensen die ongehuwd samenwonen, trouwen bijna altijd als er een kind komt.''
Carolien Tax, actief in het CDA en in de rooms-katholieke kerk en hoofdredacteur van jongerentijdschrift Omega , vindt het jammer dat het in de gezinsnota vooral over probleemhuishoudens gaat. ,,Er wordt gedaan alsof elk gezin een potentieel probleem is. Waar blijft de aandacht voor de kracht van het gezin?'' Rouvoet lijkt wel de minister van probleemhuishoudens, zegt ze gekscherend.
In de centra voor jeugd en gezin ziet ze weinig heil. Mensen willen volgens haar opvoedtips die bij hun geloofsovertuiging of levensbeschouwing aansluiten. ,,We moeten vechten voor het bijzonder onderwijs en met andere parochianen over de opvoeding praten'', vindt ze daarom. Het leren van andere, gelijkgezinde ouders kan nooit worden vervangen door de gezinscentra, volgens haar.
Minister Rouvoet definieert het gezin in zijn nota als 'elk leefverband van één of meer volwassenen die de verantwoordelijkheid dragen voor de opvoeding van de kinderen'. Tax heeft daarmee moeite. ,,Zo ongeveer alles valt eronder, ook samenwonenden, homostellen, zelfs een man die een harem heeft en twintig kinderen.'' Zij ziet het gezin met een vader en een moeder als het ideale gezin.
Contract
Ook prof. jhr. dr. Frans Alting von Geusau heeft moeite met de in de nota gebruikte definitie. Hij is emeritus hoogleraar 'internationaal recht' en 'westelijke samenwerking', maar is als spreker uitgenodigd omdat hij vader is van zes getrouwde kinderen. ,,Die allen niet voor het huwelijk hebben samengewoond'', voegt hij daaraan toe.
Het gezin als leefverband omschrijven, haalt het gezin onderuit, vindt hij. ,,De belofte van het leven is in Nederland gereduceerd tot een contract. Het huwelijk kan makkelijk worden beëindigd. Waarom moeten wij als christenen, die de dragers zijn van de beste boodschap over het huwelijk, daarin meegaan en concessies doen over de definitie van het gezin? Het huwelijk is een belofte aan elkaar en aan God. Liefde is geen romantische aangelegenheid, je hebt de essentiële plicht om bij elkaar te blijven. Voor het CDA is het de hoogste tijd om vanuit de C te spreken en niet vanuit concessies. Anders dragen we bij aan de verwarring die over dit onderwerp bestaat. Verloedering van de taal, is het begin van verloedering van de geest.''
Tot zijn spijt heeft hij nergens in de nota iets teruggevonden over de voorbereiding op het huwelijk en over de rol van de kerk. ,,Het gezin is een door God zelf gegeven opdracht. Als zo'n nota verschijnt, hebben we als christenen de plicht ertegen in te gaan.''
Net als Alting von Geusau dat heeft gedaan, combineert prof.dr. Leonard Besselink zijn hoogleraarschap met de opvoeding van zes kinderen. Nederland is niet gezinsvriendelijk, houdt hij de aanwezigen voor. Werk en gezin zijn moeilijk te combineren, door onder meer wachtlijsten bij de dure kinderopvang en te weinig mogelijkheden om flexibel te werken.
René Hoksbergen vindt daarom dat de gezinsnota wel een aanvulling kan gebruiken. Ouders moeten in de gelegenheid worden gesteld om de tijd te nemen voor hun kinderen. Het gezin is volgens hem de kern van de samenleving en verdient daarom blijvende aandacht van de overheid en van de ouders. ,,Je wilt je kinderen toch goed afleveren aan de samenleving?''
 

KRO Spoorloos: Herenigd met verkeerde moeder?
Datum nieuwsfeit: 09-11-2009

 
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House bill seeks to protect Oregon kids adopted outside U.S.

By Michelle Cole, The Oregonian

May 01, 2009, 8:49PM

Courtesy of Tausha CramAdrianna Cram was in state custody when she was sent to Mexico to live with relatives who later murdered her. A bill that unanimously passed the state House on Friday requires greater safeguards for children sent out of the country.

SALEM -- Nobody mentioned Adrianna Cram's name during Friday's short House floor debate on a bill requiring more scrutiny when a child from Oregon foster care is sent to live with relatives in another country.

Ethiopian children exploited by US adoption agencies Andrew Geogheghan reported this story on Tuesday, September 15, 2009 07:22:00 Listen to MP3 of this story ( minutes) ALTERNATE WMA VERSION | MP3 DOWNLOAD This transcript is a record of the Radio National broadcast. It will be replaced by the updated local radio broadcast at 10am. TONY EASTLEY: In Australia, international adoptions are handled by the Government and are highly regulated, but that's not the case elsewhere in the world. In the United States international adoptions are a big business, where a large number of private international adoption agencies are paid on average $30,000 a time to find a child for hopeful parents. The number of Americans adopting Ethiopian children has quadrupled, especially since American celebrities adopted African children. A Foreign Correspondent team has been investigating American adoption agencies operating in Ethiopia and has uncovered some alarming practices. Africa correspondent Andrew Geoghegan reports. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: Famine, disease and war have orphaned around five million Ethiopian children. It's not surprising then that the business of international adoptions is thriving here and Americans in particular are queuing up to adopt a child. EXCERPT FROM DVD: This is Yabets. He's five years old and both of his parents died; it says they died of tuberculosis. Can you smile? Oh, nice smile. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: This is the sales pitch from an American agency Christian World Adoption. In a remote village in Ethiopia's south the agency has compiled a DVD catalogue of children for its clients in the United States. EXCERPT FROM DVD: Father has died. I'm not certain what he died of and this is the mother. Hoping for a family who can provide for them, they're just really desperate for people to take care of their children. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: Incredibly though, many of the children being advertised are not orphans at all. American Lisa Boe was told by Christian World Adoption that the little boy she'd adopted was an orphan, but she soon had doubts. LISA BOE: There was a picture of the people that had found him, and there's a man and a woman in the picture. I point to the woman and he calls her mamma. I would never, never have brought home a child that has a mum. Never. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: At least 70 adoption agencies have set up business in Ethiopia. Almost half are unregistered, but there's scant regulation anyway and fraud and deception are rife. Some agencies actively recruit children in a process known as harvesting. EXCERPT FROM DVD: If you want your child to be adopted by a family in America, you may stay. If you do not want your child to go to America, you should take your child away. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: Parents give up their children in the belief they'll have better lives overseas. But many have little understanding of the process or that that they may never see their children again. EYOB KOLCHA: It was considered good for the children in the community and the people came. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: Eyob Kolcha worked for Christian World Adoption before quitting in December 2007. EYOB KOLCHA: There was no information before that time, there was no information after that. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: Did their parents realise that they were now legally someone else's children? EYOB KOLCHA: They didn't understand that. I don't think most people, most parents understand even elsewhere in Ethiopia right now. MUNERA AHMED (translated): I have no words to express my feelings and my anguish about what happened to my children and what I did. ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: After her husband left, Munera Ahmed gave up two sons - one 12 months old and the other five through another adoption agency. She has had no word about her children since she handed them over; that's despite guarantees that she'd be kept informed. The agency has now closed. MUNERA AHMED (translated): As a mother not to be able to know my kids' situation hurts me so much, I have no words, no words to express my emotions (crying). ANDREW GEOGHEGAN: About 30 Ethiopian children are leaving the country every week, bound for a new home, new parents and an uncertain future. This is Andrew Geoghegan in Addis Ababa for AM. TONY EASTLEY: And you can watch the full story tonight on Foreign Correspondent at 8pm.

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 Wednesday, 4 November 2009

S Leone fury at 'forced adoption'
 
Thousands of children were forced to flee during the civil war
A group of parents in Sierra Leone has accused a charity of sending more than 30 children abroad for adoption without consent during the country's civil war.
The parents say they have no idea what happened to their children after they were handed over to Help a Needy Child International (Hanci).
But the charity says it has documents signed by the parents giving permission for overseas adoption.
Sierra Leone was devastated by a decade of civil war, which ended in 2002.
Children were frequently abducted and forced to fight in the brutal conflict.
'Convoluted issue'
The BBC's Umaru Fofana, in the capital Freetown, says the parents have been lobbying the government for years to find out what happened to their children.
He says they have become frustrated with what they see as a lack of action from ministers, so have taken their campaign to the media.
 So many years have elapsed so I have to take my time to look at it very carefully

Soccoh Kabbia
Minister of children's affairs
One parent told our correspondent how she agreed to let Hanci care for and educate her children at a local centre to save them from the war.
"We regularly visited our children at the centre until some time in 1998 when we stopped seeing them," she said.
"We went to Freetown to find out what had happened, and we were told they had sent our children overseas and they would be visiting us every five years.
"We want the government to intervene and let us have our children back."
The parents of more than 30 children make similar allegations.
But Hanci director Roland Kargbo denies the claims, saying the charity obtained written consent from the parents whose children were sent overseas.
"There were two agreements - one for children to be cared for and reintegrated into the community locally, and another for parents who wanted their children to be adopted," he told the BBC.
"The parents know that, we have documents to support that."
Minister of Children's Affairs Soccoh Kabbia says the government is still investigating the issue.
"It is a convoluted story because so many years have elapsed so I have to take my time to look at it very carefully," he said.
The children are believed to have been adopted by American families.

Statement on the debate – should children be taken into care sooner?
08 September 2009 Renuka Jeyarajah-Dent, Director of Operations at Coram

It is high time that we put the needs of children first. We certainly share the view that for babies who cannot be looked after by their birth parents, that early adoption is the best solution. Of course the decision cannot be made lightly, but it must be made before subjecting children to a life without love and stability being moved from carer to carer.
It is not surprising that our society tends to shy away from taking children from their biological parents. We feel it is somehow unnatural. We must assess whether parents are able to change enough to parent their child safely. Where there is clear, solid evidence of abuse or neglect, we need to be much more willing to remove them from danger. And we need to attempt to do this at a much earlier stage in children’s lives.

Children who are adopted into loving families can have very positive happy lives and this is especially true when they are adopted at a young age. Later adoptions can also work but it is much more difficult for children who come into the care system when they are older. By then, they have suffered the effects of abuse and neglect which can meant that they may not believe in themselves or that anyone can care for them. They are often isolated and tend to behave badly or do poorly in school because learning requires the security that makes it OK to risk failure by trying new things.

There are children currently in the care system who should have been taken into care earlier but that is not to say this is straightforward. Taking a child away from parents is emotionally draining, especially when the alternatives also have risks. Making such decisions requires the skills of a variety of people working together. The right interventions to try to help parents cope and quick input ensures that the child gets the care and support needed even when parents are not coping.

Parenting itself is complex and can be difficult. People need support to help them to do it better. There is no doubt that a child is better with its family of origin as long as the care they provide is not only practical but also warm and appreciative of the child. It is this warmth that is so tied to positive results– to be loved helps us to go on to love.