David McKinstry always wanted a family to call his own. But as he writes in his new book Rebel Dad: Triumphing Over Bureaucracy to Adopt Two Orphans Born Worlds Apart, his battle to adopt children as a gay man quickly turned into a years-long fight with the Canadian government, social workers and adoption agencies. The following excerpt features David in India in January 1998, as he visits adoption agencies while keeping his sexuality a closely guarded secret.
Vinod [my guide while I was in India] was standing outside my bedroom door when I emerged looking ashen. I handed him the list of five orphanages I had scheduled appointments with that day.
The first was a state-run facility, Delhi Council for Child Welfare. The building rose up in front of us as we drove into an upscale neighbourhood with white stucco houses, each lot divided by rows of 50-foot-high trees. The narrow streets of this cul-de-sac were cobblestoned; the labourers who swept the streets spotless would take home only a few rupees for their daylong effort.
Nisha, the director of this facility, was a stunningly beautiful thirtyish woman with a kind and gentle manner as she greeted me and then led me to her office. She had just placed a child the previous month with a family in Ottawa and she was happy to see another Canadian inquiring about adoption. Scanning through my file, Nisha asked me thoughtful questions while frequently making encouraging observations about my readiness to adopt children.
However, after 30 minutes, she announced that this orphanage’s charter denied single people, widowed or not, from adopting their children. She suggested I visit Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity orphanage, just up the road and the next place on my list. Nisha asked if I was Christian and gave me a warm, bright smile when I replied, “Indeed I am.” After a short walk around the compound full of nicely dressed and happy-looking children playing under tall shade trees, she bid me goodbye and good wishes for a successful adoption.