When I decided to adopt orphaned twins from Ethiopia, it felt like the most natural thing to do. But it raised many questions about motherhood and the bond we have with our children

I assumed I would conceive naturally when John and I decided to start a family. I didn’t. We turned to fertility drugs with ambivalence. Reports of the mood swings the drugs sometimes caused worried me. I had only gone through one round when I broke a wooden dish-drying rack over John’s head. I don’t remember what he said, but I’m sure it was something I’d otherwise have considered innocuous. Instead, a growling, uncontrollable rage emerged from nowhere and then overcame me like an emotional tsunami. We decided the drugs weren’t for us.

I had gone along with fertility treatments for the same reason I went along with other non-decisions I’ve made in my life, like having an enormous wedding, because people whom I loved wanted it for me. I thought I was supposed to want it, just like I was supposed to want to get pregnant by any means. Yet I cried genuine tears when, month after month, I was unable to conceive. I felt like a failure.

My friend Lisa, a scholar of the Bible, sat with me once as I confessed that another fertility treatment had failed to take. “This is your pain,” she said. “You must bear witness.”

Her words gripped me physically. I stopped crying. I was erect, alert and full of purpose. From that moment, I paid attention to the more important presence in my insides: not the drugs but the little door in my heart that had always been closed to them. Behind that door was my truest self and she didn’t want to conceive that badly.

Adopted child According to Chamila Seppenwoolde, who was adopted from Sri Lanka, something is lost forever with every international adoption. "You can't go back to how it should have been."

It would have been close if Chamila Seppenwoolde (34) had ended up in another family. Her adoptive parents had ticked a girl on the form, but had been assigned a boy. In the van on the way to the lawyer in Colombo, it was other adoptive parents who convinced them not to agree. "They said, you have ordered a girl, so you must have a girl too."

Sri Lanka was a popular adoption country in the second half of the 1980s, as many newborn babies were offered here. Often this was not done voluntarily. Chamila's mother thought she would give up her daughter temporarily, until she could be financially independent again. "Only when she saw in court that I was being picked up by two white people did she realize she had lost me."

The Sinhalese baby that was handed to the couple Seppenwoolde was called Dilrukshi Chamila, but the Seppenwooldes did not like the first name and was deleted. Her passport therefore states Chamila Chandrani - the middle name is that of her Sinhalese mother. A loss, says Chamila. "My real names are all my mother gave me."

In the Seppenwoolde family not much was said about Chamila's origins. It wasn't until she was in high school that she was shown a picture of her mother. "I was always told: your mother could not take care of you and gave you up out of love."

The cabinet must put an end to adoptions from abroad as soon as possible. That is one of the recommendations from the upcoming report of the Joustra Committee on the abuses in foreign adoptions. "What we have known for years is now finally being recognized," victims respond to Hart van Nederland .

Parents who gave up children without knowing it, children who subsequently received a false adoption report and can therefore no longer find their biological parents. Much went wrong in the adoptions between 1967 and 1997. Monday the report of the committee headed by Tjibbe Joustra that has investigated the role and responsibility of the Dutch government in Indonesia, Brazil, Colombia, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka will be published.

Ghost parents

One of those adopted children is Amanda Janssen from Nieuwegein. "I have ghost parents," she tells Hart van Nederland . "I know I was born of something, but from what?"

Amanda's life was turned upside down when she and her adopted sister set out to investigate her origins. But at the hospital she found out that her whole life, her name, her date of birth, belonged to someone else. "At the hospital they said: your document is false." The sister, who had always been told to be a thoroughbred sister, turned out not to be related.

Adoption of children from abroad must be halted for the time being. This conclusion can be found in the yet to be published report of the Joustra Committee. Under the leadership of former top civil servant Tjibbe Joustra, this committee advises the cabinet on international adoptions and the role of the Dutch government in this culture.

The verdict of the leaked report feels like recognition for Patricia Steenstra from Groningen. She was adopted from Indonesia as a five month old baby. She is looking for her biological family in her native country. This did not work, her file appears to be forged. She is one of the thousands of children who were brought to the Netherlands for adoption from countries such as Sri Lanka, India, Indonesia and Colombia in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, and now find out during their search that their adoption file has been tampered with.

Serious wrongs

Due to the continuing flow of adoption abuses, Sander Dekker, Minister for Legal Protection, announced that an investigation would be conducted in 2018. The report will be presented next Monday. Sources around the cabinet leaked to the Algemeen Dagblad about the content. According to the newspaper, it appears that this investigation shows serious abuses in the adoptions of children from Bangladesh, Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia and Sri Lanka in the period of 1967 and 1997. This problem continues to this day, the committee finds .

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Tough report on adoptions from abroad: cabinet urged to stop

The adoption of children from abroad must be stopped completely for the time being. A committee led by former top civil servant Tjibbe Joustra draws this conclusion in a report to be published, sources around the cabinet report. The outgoing government team is very upset with the recommendations.

Jan Hoedeman 05-02-21, 03:00

In a harsh judgment about the Dutch adoption culture and the role of the government in this, mention is made of 'serious abuses'. The committee identified child theft, child trafficking, corruption, forgery and theft of documents, unethical acts of civil servants and the transfer of children to the Netherlands under false pretenses.

The Joustra committee has mainly focused on adoptions of children from Bangladesh, Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia and Sri Lanka. Joustra researched the thirty years between 1967 and 1997, but encountered a permanent and structural problem that still persists. Because contemporary adoption practice is still not good enough, bringing children to the Netherlands should stop for the time being, the advice is.

Minister Sander Dekker voor Rechtsbescherming (VVD) afgelopen zomer tijdens het Tweede Kamerdebat over fouten bij het onderzoek naar afstand en adoptie in Nederland.

Minister Sander Dekker voor Rechtsbescherming (VVD) afgelopen zomer tijdens het Tweede Kamerdebat over fouten bij het onderzoek naar afstand en adoptie in Nederland. © ANP

Kabinet zet nieuwe adopties in pauzestand, maar wil geen verbod

Het kabinet volgt de suggestie van de commissie-Joustra om adopties vanuit het buitenland stop te zetten. Maar het wil niet zo ver gaan dat interlandelijke adopties verboden worden. Maandag wordt het besluit bekend, melden Haagse bronnen.

Jan Hoedeman 05-02-21, 19:04

What the government knew for decades but always covered up is now being confirmed. There are many abuses in foreign adoptions, concludes an investigation committee led by former top civil servant Tjibbe Joustra. Adoptees are happy with the recognition. Wish-parents fear a stop on adoptions.

"This proves that I do have a point and have not just shouted in a vacuum," says Butink. “It is nice that this is recognized. At the same time, it is crazy to be happy with the confirmation that abuses have taken place. ''

Butink filed a lawsuit against the Dutch state last year. She believes that the state and the Kind en Toekomst foundation, which arranged her adoption in 1992, made serious mistakes. The agency did not investigate whether the details of biological parents were correct or whether they gave her up for adoption voluntarily.

Barred

The judge ruled that the state is not liable because the fraudulent practices are time-barred. The court thus followed the defense of the state. Moreover, it would be impossible to detect fraud.

The adoption of children from abroad must be stopped completely for the time being. A committee led by former top civil servant Tjibbe Joustra draws this conclusion in a report to be published, sources around the cabinet report to the AD .

The report on the Dutch adoption culture and the role of the government in it mentions 'serious abuses' in Bangladesh, Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia and Sri Lanka. The committee pointed to child theft, child trafficking, corruption, forgery and theft of documents, unethical acts of civil servants and the transfer of children to the Netherlands under false pretenses. Because today's adoption practice is still not good, bringing children to the Netherlands should stop for the time being, the advice is.

Council of Ministers on report

Friday, the Council of Ministers will talk about the report that will be published on Monday. Not everyone in the government would feel in favor of a complete stop on adoption. The ongoing adoption procedures should go ahead, some believe. A stop should therefore relate to new applications.

Zembla paid attention to abuses in intercountry adoptions in four programs. In response to that broadcast, Minister Dekker said that the “primary responsibility” for a careful adoption procedure lay and lies with the sending countries. But on the basis of later information, Dekker said he saw reason to take a closer look at the actions of the Dutch government.

HOOGE MIERDE - Immediately stopping adoptions of foreign children is a major step that is not necessary. Adoption is and will remain valuable for many children. This is the response of Inez Teurlings, chairman of the Stichting Interlandelijk Geadopterden, to the most important recommendation of the Joustra Committee, which investigated the Dutch adoption practice.

Teurlings, born in Bangladesh and raised in Hooge Mierde, is aware of abuses that are mentioned in the report of the Joustra committee revealed by this newspaper on Friday. Child trafficking, child theft and forging adoption documents, for example.

But such cases mainly took place in the 1970s and 1980s, according to Teurlings. “Then hundreds of children were adopted every year. With such numbers I can imagine that something will go wrong. Nowadays it is still about 125 children per year. ”

Prove

Teurlings emphasizes that she has not yet read the report of the Joustra committee. “I am curious about the evidence of wrongdoing. From our contacts with permit holders who mediate in adoptions, I do not get the impression that much goes wrong. Parties I know are doing well with adoption. ”

A temporary ban on the adoption of children from abroad is a step in the right direction. But it does not give Jyoti Weststrate (37) from Deventer a sense of justice. For Yanien Veenendaal (50) from Apeldoorn, it feels like a small victory.

They let this know in response to the decision by outgoing minister Sander Dekker (Legal Protection) to immediately suspend the adoption of children from abroad. That became known Monday morning.

In the opinion on the Dutch adoption culture and the role of the government in this, reference is made to 'serious abuses'. According to Dekker, the Dutch government has fallen short of looking away from abuses for years. The committee identified child theft, child trafficking, corruption, forgery and theft of documents, unethical acts of civil servants and the transfer of children to the Netherlands under false pretenses.

Presented to a priest

Weststrate was about 2 years old, although she does not rule out the fact that she was older, when she was taken away from her biological parents in India and 'given' to a priest . She ended up in Zutphen, where questions about her origins have been waiting for answers for a lifetime. Now she tries to expose abuses in international adoption.