Zwolle - “Adoption is only about the adoptive parents, the child is forgotten,” says adoption coach and adopted Soorien Zeldenrust. This month is Adoption Awareness Month. An important month for Soorien Zeldenrust, but an ordinary month for Rosa Bouw.
ANNO is a museum for and by Zwollenaren. In the exhibition about freedom, Soorien skews her story about adoption. “It is imposed on us by society that we should be grateful because we have been 'saved' by our adoptive parents,” says Soorien. According to her, there is often no room for the adoptee to indicate that they are struggling with a piece of grief, for example. Soorien is an expert in the field of adoption and is also adopted herself.
Soorien says she is not in favor of adoption. "It is a loss for both the biological mother and the child." According to Soorien, parents must first process their own trauma, for example that they will never be able to have children. If that fails, there are expectations that the adopted child can never live up to. “The wish for a child is simply not replaceable, and neither is the biological parent,” emphasizes Soorien. “It is really important that adoptive parents understand that it is not their child. Perhaps on paper, but the child will always keep a soul connection with the biological mother. ”
Rosa was adopted just like Soorien, but she experiences this differently. “I'm not actually working on it at all,” she says. “I don't know my biological parents, they are strange to me”, Rosa says. She is convinced that there would have been room for her at home if she had struggled with her adoption. “My parents have really involved Colombia in our lives,” she says. According to Soorien, it is also very important that the child is given speaking space.
Soorien indicates that the GGD could do more for adopted children. "I would really like it if you go to the GGD again at the age of twelve, sixteenth and eighteenth." She thinks this could have helped her.