Soon a bilateral agreement with Italy. Ai.Bi. among the seven bodies authorized to operate

On the African front, there is new good news on the subject of international adoptions. Last Thursday, in fact, the vice president of the CAI - International Adoptions Commission , Dr. Laura Laera , met a delegation composed of senior ministerial officials from the Democratic Republic of the Congo . This is reported by the CAI website. The meeting would take place to resume "the collaboration interrupted in recent years due to the blockade of adoptions imposed by the African State".

The meeting was also attended by commissioners Guerrieri (representative of family associations) and Bardini (representative of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs) in addition to representatives of the bodies authorized to operate in the Congo. As explained by the head of the delegation, Andre Kalenga Ka Ngoy , director of the Cabinet of the Congolese Minister of Justice , international adoptions in the country are suspended pending the implementation of the application of the new Family Code issued in 2016 , in which the setting up of a public body that oversees the sector exclusively.

The new state body will be inspired by the principles of the Hague Convention, making the adoption process more transparent. The times of realization of this new structure should, according to what expressed by the Congolese delegation, be brief. The Democratic Republic of the Congo will soon receive a first draft of the bilateral agreement that Italy would like to sign to launch a renewed collaboration between the two countries.

At the end of the meeting with the CAI, the delegation then went to the offices of the authorized bodies to meet some families. Among the seven bodies authorized to operate in the Democratic Republic of the Congo there is also Ai.Bi. - Amici dei Bambini, which has its own Kinshasa headquartersand met the delegation on Saturday 8 June.

Adoptiekinderen zoeken familie in Colombia: 'Nederland is medeverantwoordelijk'

VANDAAG, 20:29 BUITENLAND

GESCHREVEN DOOR

Marc Bessems

correspondent Latijns-Amerika

Behind the cheeky smile lies much hurt, sadness and vulnerability. Although I’m all grown up now, it doesn’t mean my pain has ever gone away!

I’m not usually one to vent my frustration and hurt on social media but here I go!! I am sick of living a life of pain and loss. Over the past few years, I’ve spent so much of my time in mental health facilities, I can’t even count them all. Every time I think I’m getting better, something shit brings me back down. You would think being in a mental health facility would enable you the care and support you need. I can tell you – it’s far from it!

I’m currently in a mental health ward and life feels like it has just fallen into a million pieces over 24 hours! I have disappointed my adoptive parents, affected reputations, lost friends and now feel like I’ve got to fight this battle on my own.

I’ve had several occasions where nurses come talk to me and they lecture me on my life! As an adoptee how dare they sit there and tell me everything’s going to be okay, that I am privileged and should be grateful for what I have!

I’m sure many other adoptees have had these statements said over and over again. How dare people who don’t know me lecture me about my life. They don’t know what it’s like to lose my birth family and have a million questions unanswered. So what gives them the right to be so judgemental?

Several lawsuits are expected to be filed soon over the illegal adoptions facilitated by St Patrick's Guild.

The State is set to be a co-defendant in the cases due to the alleged failure of the now-dissolved An Bord Uchtála, the old adoption board, to intervene.

It had long been feared many babies were incorrectly registered as the biological children of their adoptive parents.

But an insight into the scale of the practice emerged in May of last year when Children's Minister Katherine Zappone announced at least 126 babies adopted from St Patrick's Guild were falsely registered as the biological children of their adoptive parents. That number has since risen to 148.

The people affected were born between 1946 and 1969.

Attachment problems in foster care and adoption situations are extra complicated

A secure attachment is of great importance for every child. The attachment of foster and adopted children is under pressure for various 
reasons. Adoption expert Dr. Anneke Vinke provides a contribution on this theme at the annual congress on attachment problems. 
In anticipation of this, Blik op Hulp interviewed her. 
Attachment and trust  Relatively many foster and adopted children experience difficulties in attachment. 
Vinke explains why that is: “A newborn child gets to know the world through his or her parents. 
The parents respond to signals from the child and help the child to regulate himself and give meaning to the world.
A child learns to trust in this reciprocal process of getting used to and bonding to each other. Confidence that someone comes when it 
cries because there is hunger, because there is a full diaper, because there is abdominal pain or because it just feels bad for a while. 
Also trust that the parent who comes is entirely for the child, can comfort the child and help to calm down. The parent tells in words 
what is going on and why it didn't feel right. The child learns to deal with both the emotional inner world and the physical outer world 
through the relationship with the parents. The first experiences of availability, care and attention are essential. The child receives 
the message that it is welcome in this world, that it can be there and find its own place. That there are people who love the baby and 
will always be there in times of stress and tension ”.

Adoption and foster care  But what if that is not the case? What if parents can't do this? “Parents cannot be emotionally or physically ready for the child for a 
variety of reasons, for example if someone has become unwantedly pregnant. Or if you are raped and this child does not want. If it is 
dangerous to have a child because, for example, you are not married or because you are fleeing or pregnant with someone other than your 
husband. If you are sick or addicted as a mother. If you are stuck in detention or live on the street or if you live in a war zone. 
Many situations are conceivable where it is difficult to attach to your child during pregnancy. Then you may not be able to concern 
yourself with your child because you are not yet able to properly arrange your own life. In such situations, a child may be given up 
immediately after birth. In countries far away or - but that rarely happens - in the Netherlands. If a child does not have a family, 
the agreement is that a family will be sought. Then a search begins that often involves transfers and temporary care. 
Every time a new upbringing and attachment relationship is entered into and that is difficult. Certainly until a long-term place has 
been found, a child can become very confused by this. There is no continuity, no predictability and that makes the world unsafe ”.

Complicated  Relocations and accompanying broken attachment relationships make adoption and foster care complicated. After all, 
new experiences build on old ones and if the first experiences in life are not positive, it is difficult to build on that. Vinke: 
“Compare it with a tower: if the foundation is not there or is not complete, the chance that you can build it very high is low. 
Children who have not been told from the first day, or even better from the moment of conception, that there is someone unconditional 
for them, who find them the most beautiful, sweetest, best baby ever, find it difficult to find a safe place in the world place to 
experience. It becomes difficult if you were born after a stressful pregnancy in which a mother did not feel safe. Often you also see that 
a mother had her own problems, life itself was difficult to cope with, or that there are too many difficult things on the path of parents 
so that they cannot be unconditional for a child.

Multiple educators  attachment problems adoption anneke vinke Almost all adopted children in the Netherlands were born abroad. They have lived for a long or 
shorter time either in a foster home or in a home. This means that they have had several educators. "Research shows that the more 
educators, the more difficult to develop a secure model of attachment," says Vinke. “That makes sense, because every educator does 
it a little differently and as a small child you get confused easily. What you learn from that, very early, is to survive. 
You survive by choosing your own path and doing it yourself, while the intention is that as a child you learn to trust adults 
and get to know yourself through them. Many adopted children and foster children like to keep control, we often see self-determining 
behavior ”. Check  When asked about the areas of life in which attachment manifests itself as a problem, Vinke prefers to turn the question around: 
“In which area do you see no problems? The reason for contacting care providers is often behavioral problems, anger or anxiety complaints 
or problems at school. But if a child is adopted or grows up as a foster child, you should also always check the attachment development. 
Often that is under the problems that we see. Attachment is not immediately visible, but attachment problems are often among those for 
which help is sought. There is often a strong desire for control: wanting to do it yourself. That makes it difficult to perform tasks, 
assignments at home and at school because then someone else decides what you "have to do". Conflicts arise at home, at school, with friends. "

Incentives  Attachment problems are often mistaken for something else. Vinke: “There is often hyperalert behavior: you cannot miss anything. 
The world is not safe so you must always be on your guard. Something can happen just like that. Selecting information and incentives is 
complicated: it happens that children are busy with everything at the same time. They therefore have a short concentration curve and are 
easily distracted. These children often get the ADHD label attached while there is an underlying attachment problem. It may also be that 
a child is very withdrawn, seems to move into its own world and makes less good contact. Such behavior resembles autism but is not really 
"real" autism. Researchers then speak of "quasi autism."

Socially emotional  However, the impact of attachment problems on foster and adopted children is not limited to the way they handle incentives. 
"If there are many nasty, traumatic memories, they can come back in dreams but also in daytime images," Vinke continues. 
“There are often problems at school: both with learning and social. If your mind is full of memories and you have to do your best 
all day to stay in control, it is not always possible to learn new things. Social functioning is often difficult because control 
can also play a role there. Children can be bullied with their skin color or appearance. That is complicated. Sometimes you see 
separation anxiety, which can manifest itself in claiming behavior towards other children or towards parents. Sleep problems are 
also often seen. Just like eating problems, stealing and walking away. With older children we also often see substance use, game 
addiction and I can go on and on. In addition, identity questions are also common. Children ask themselves questions such as "who am I?" 
And "To whom do I belong?" But questions about culture, ethnicity and country of origin are also common.