Source: Sunilchandra Dal
Head: Adoptees seek to know their roots, for better or worse
Intro: Issue has once again sparked off debate
Blurb: City adoption agencies like Shreevatsa orphanage run by Sofosh and Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra are becoming open to adoptees' need to search for their roots. But reunion with the biological parents may not always be happy.
Bhagyashree Kulthe
The rare occasion of a 21-year-old adoptee from Sweden being reunited with her biological mother in Pune has once again sparked off a debate on one of the most emotive issues concerning adoption.
Clarinda Nilsson, who was adopted by a Swedish couple from the Shreevatsa orphanage run by Society of Friends of the Sassoon Hospital (Sofosh), came to Pune three years ago to meet her biological mother. Recently, she visited the city for the second time in three years to see her mother. The questions regarding her roots troubled her since school days. It was a happy reunion. Clarinda said she was at peace after meeting her mother.
Although the misconceptions attached to adoption are fading, the question whether the adoptees should know about their biological parents is still a debatable question.
But there is a shift in the opinion as the government policies on the issue have become more liberal and adoption agencies too are taking a different approach.
City adoption agencies like Shreevatsa orphanage run by Sofosh and Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK) are becoming open to the adoptees' need to search for their roots. But reunion with the biological parents may not always be happy.
The agencies are therefore gearing up for the challenges involved. Executive member of Sofosh Dipika Maharajsingh has noticed a change in the outlook in the last few years, but said there is still a long way to go. "There is a nagging anxiety among the adoptees about their past. This loss is not socially understood. We need to address this problem to help the child come to terms with the loss. However, in the Indian scenario this involves many challenges," said Maharajsingh.
Sofosh has been helping some adoptees, who came searching for their roots, to meet their biological parents in the last few years. They share information about the family with the adoptees after considering the implications.
Maharajsingh felt that adoptive parents in India are still secretive and stressed on the need for awareness to understand the adoptee's need and address it in a proper way. "The agencies too are still learning and studying the issue. We are helping the adoptive parents understand the child's need to know his or her past. The triad of adoptive family, adoptee and biological family has to be taken into confidence and counselled before the meeting," she said.
Though government policies were for secrecy about the adoptee's biological family and other details, they too have become liberal in the last few years, added Maharajsingh. "They let the adoption agencies decide if the meeting should be allowed because every case has to be handled individually," she stated.
BSSK too accepts the adoptee's right to know his or her past, but has been very cautious in its approach because it has many social and moral implications. Assistant director of BSSK Maina Shetty said, "We do not encourage the meeting, but we certainly recognise the adoptee's right to know his/her past. "We share information about their background if the adoptee expresses the wish to know. But providing all the details is not always possible or advisable. We do not have any case of the adoptee actually meeting the biological parent," said Shetty
BOX I
Each case is different
Expert on adoption issues and former executive director of Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra, Pune, Lata Joshi who founded Adoptees National Union for Joy (Anuj), said meeting the biological family should not be encouraged. She stressed on the need for counselling of adoptive parents and adoptees to tackle the issue.
"Meeting is alright in selected cases where the biological mother too is willing and the after-effects are considered, but not in general. This should be allowed only if the adoptee is adult and mature enough to understand the complexities," she said. But in most cases the mothers are unwilling to meet the child, observed Joshi. In such cases, the secrecy has to be respected and adoptee needs to be counselled, she said.
She stated that Indian adoptive families and those from other countries have a different approach and in the Indian scenario such cases have to be tackled sensitively.
A 34-year-old man who was adopted from a Pune agency went to court to seek information about his biological family, accusing the adoption agency of non-cooperation. The hearing of the case is on, she said, adding the law has to be sensitive while deciding such cases as it will have wide implications. It is best to let the adoption agency decide, as each case is individual, she felt.
BOX II
Sharing basic information helps
The adoptees do not always wish to meet the biological parents. Sometimes just sharing the details about birth and biological family with proper counselling is sufficient. The curiosity of some adoptees is satisfied with information like name of the mother and home place. "Some adoptees just want to visit the orphanage and meet the people they were brought up by," said Maina Shetty from BSSK. Lata Joshi of Anuj too opined that if he or she is given basic information and counselled properly, that will help. "Bringing about the reunion should be the last option," she felt.
BOX III
In search of a mother
Rani, who was adopted from an agency in Pune by a Norwegian couple, came to Anuj recently to seek help to locate her biological mother. Rani said, "I want to see my mother. After some sessions at Anuj, I understand the consequences and am prepared for it. I think the adoption agencies need to be more receptive and help us out," she said.